Onward, Christian Soldiers (Spoiler)

Mark Madden

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ONWARD, CHRISTIAN SOLDIERS

The peeps are in an uproar because Christian turned out to be an interim world champion. He won the World title at Extreme Rules, then dropped it to Randy Orton at the subsequent Smackdown taping. Don’t be a mark. The belt’s a prop.

Some are saying that Christian "deserved" better. I’m not even sure what that means. Christian’s peeps should be happy that Christian got the World title, even briefly, on a PPV, and got to celebrate with his best friend, the retiring Edge. That’s a big moment, one Christian and his peeps won’t forget. That’s what Christian "deserved."

I’m a big Christian fan. But if the intent is to make Randy Orton the central figure on SmackDown, this was a proper re-introduction.

Now, if you want to question whether Orton should be that central figure, I’m game for that discussion. The bloom seems to be off Orton’s rose. He’s a skinny twink who kicks people in the head after pantomiming near-orgasm. What’s the big deal? Orton seems more over backstage than he is with the audience. Vince loves his body. That’s why Orton got his push, and why he still does. But is he still a true top-tier guy?

*I have acquired exclusive world-wide rights to marketing human excrement. Instead of s***, I’m going to call it IMPACT. Should be a big seller.

*Kharma stalking Kelly Kelly marked the start of the most reality-based feud in wrestling history: Fat black girls hate skinny blond white girls. Joking aside, WWE’s introduction and use of Kharma has been EXCELLENT. It’s a shame women don’t draw money.

*WWE did a good job minimizing the Bin Laden gloating Monday night. WWE makes a lot of money overseas. No point maximizing the risk for all involved.

*TNA signing Chyna = good move. Good timing, too. Kharma will be seen as the knock-off, Chyna the original. In this case, that’s good. Chyna’s been away from wrestling long enough that she seems fresh. Seems like a good fit for Angle, too. With the women as catalysts, the Angle-Jarrett feud is starting to cook. It’s a shame it won’t draw money.

*Jeff Jarrett has finally found a role that fits: The p***y-whipped husband who does his best to disguise it. Art imitates life. It’s a shame it won’t draw money.

*Latest crush: Brooke Adams (Miss Tessmacher in TNA) is STRIKING. Her Hooters bikini contest pictures on this site were AMAZING. It’s a shame women don’t draw money. Hard to believe she hasn’t struck gold as a model.

*C.M. Punk isn’t a mark. Much respect.

*I was there when Lex Luger returned to WCW on the first-ever TNT Monday Nitro. Mall of America, Pillman vs. Liger…what a night. Luger had worked without a contract in WWE for three months, which allowed his no-compete to expire while Luger was still on the job. That’s why his jump was seamless.

But Luger made a mistake, because double-crossing Vince in such public fashion guaranteed he’d never work in WWE again. Whenever his contract came due in WCW, he had no leverage. Bischoff knew Luger had no place to go, so he lowballed him. Rick Steiner conned Bischoff out of some INSANE figure during a drunken hunting trip. Luger worked for peanuts, relatively speaking.

*The idea that Michelle McCool didn’t get preferential treatment because she’s married to Undertaker is ABSURD. Mere FRIENDS of the top talent get a break. It’s logically going to be even better if you’re f***ing the guy. McCool only worked 17 house shows in 2010. Preferential treatment? Ya think? Maybe?

*I was privileged to be backstage at a few ECW shows, including some at ECW Arena, and the blur created between work and reality was amazing. Sandman once caned a ring-crew member who was "too slow" making a repair: I swear, I thought it was a shoot. It came out of nowhere, the guy wasn’t a worker, he looked like he was DYING. Brian Pillman called New Jack a "n***a with attitude" and Jack flipped out backstage. I thought they were working the boys. Pillman said no. I’m still not sure. It was crazy.

I heard a couple Paul Heyman rah-rah speeches. AMAZING. Made me want to run out and win the big game. We’ll never see anything like ECW again. I know it lost money, but I loved it. It was CUTTING EDGE. I would love to see Heyman, unleashed, get another promotion. Trouble is, we live in leashed times.

Mark Madden hosts a radio show 3-6 p.m. weekdays on WXDX-FM, Pittsburgh, PA (105.9). Check out his web page at WXDX.com. Contact Mark by emailing WZMarkMadden@hotmail.com.

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