It’s Biggest Loser Time; Why, Rock, Why?

Mark Madden

IT’S BIGGEST LOSER TIME! IT’S BIGGEST LOSER TIME!

There’s a scene in “Get Him to the Greek” where Sean Combs, playing a record company executive, is in the middle of a hotel suite with chaos reigning all around. Drugs, alcohol, prostitution, violence…there’s even a fire raging. No accountability. Everything is somebody else’s fault.

Combs raises his arms triumphantly and says, “This is what the music industry is all about!”

I wonder if Dixie Carter ever does that backstage at TNA.

The original goal of this column was to wonder why Jeff Hardy hadn’t yet been fired. Now, thinking out loud, I’m wondering why Bob Carter doesn’t do the right thing and just shut down TNA.

Firing Hardy should be the easiest decision a wrestling company ever made. He doesn’t draw AT ALL, let alone like in WWE. He ruined the main event of a PPV by being visibly impaired, so much so that Hardy reportedly had to be carried from his trailer to the gorilla position.

Yet he remains employed by TNA. TNA isn’t trying to shoehorn Hardy into rehab. They’re just letting what they perceive to be an appropriate amount of time pass before they trot Hardy out there again. No good can come from TNA employing Hardy, and hasn’t so far. Yet, they won’t fire him.

Hardy is either somebody’s connection, or he’s banging somebody. Probably the former, because I bet he’s too strung out to get an erection.

Let’s recap the events that saw the Hardy-Sting main event reduced a fiasco. Hardy is so wasted, he has to be hauled like a sack of potatoes to the gorilla position. Hardy CLEARLY is in no shape to wrestle, yet it’s decided to let him make his ring entrance. (It’s important to remember somebody allowed that to happen. Hardy doesn’t run TNA.) Then Eric Bischoff goes to the ring, calls the audible, Hardy stumbles through some embarrassing antics, tries to kick out of the pin, and is allowed to remain on-camera for still more embarrassing antics. Sting’s frustration (and profanity) gets on-camera, too. A PPV main event is RUINED. The on-site customers are clearly dissatisfied and vocal in their displeasure.

Again, this was all ALLOWED to happen. It wasn’t an ACCIDENT. It could have been prevented. It wasn’t. Management F’d up just as bad as Hardy was F’d up.

Hardy wasn’t fired. No one in management was fired. It was one of the most unprofessional incidents in the history of wrestling, but things in TNA continue EXACTLY AS BEFORE.

Now Kurt Angle has been arrested for being in control of a motor vehicle while intoxicated.

This is what the pro wrestling industry is all about!

TNA returns to the Pittsburgh area April 9 at the suburban Rostraver Ice Gardens. I will not be going. Christ, why would I?

That said, I will be interviewing James Storm on my radio show this coming Tuesday, March 29. Mostly because TNA is advertising with us, but also because I think James Storm is one heck of a performer, and it’ll be nice to have someone else on the air that’s drunk. Velvet Sky has also been invited to join me in studio the day before the show, and for dinner, drinks and dancing after.

TNA has a lot of major talent. James Storm and Velvet Sky are two of those. But within the context of that company, that talent can’t shine. Especially not in the shadow of the old hacks that dilute the TV time. Same as it ever was.

WHY, ROCK, WHY?

The Rock is going to wrestle again. He wouldn’t hint at the possibility if it wasn’t a fait accompli. The main purpose of his return to WWE is to reconnect with WWE fans so they feel more invested in his movie career. If he teases a return to the ring, then doesn’t, his original goal gets negated by bad PR.

But for the life of me, I can’t figure out what The Rock attains through actually wrestling that he wouldn’t have attained through his mere presence in WWE. I understand he loves wrestling. I understand the instant gratification performing provides. But getting in the ring undermines his acting credibility. It took The Rock so long to escape that pigeonhole. Now he’s climbing back in of his own accord? Don’t get it.

Speculation rages as to when The Rock will actually participate in a match. My advice to WWE is: The sooner, the better. The Rock should bigfoot his way into the title match at WrestleMania. The Rock vs. Cena vs. The Miz. LET’S MAKE IT A THREE-WAY DANCE! You don’t want to give The Rock, or his advisors, time to really think about this. Once he’s in for a nickel, he’s in for a dollar. Do one match, more will follow.

Mark Madden hosts a radio show 3-6 p.m. weekdays on WXDX-FM, Pittsburgh, PA (105.9). Check out his web page at WXDX.com. Contact Mark by emailing WZMarkMadden@hotmail.com.

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