The Road To WrestleMania…28

Ken Napzok

Rankings (That don’t really matter)

1.) Snooki, Hairless Ewok- She’s getting something many, many talented female wrestlers past and present never came close to having… a match at WrestleMania. Well, it’s not like she doesn’t deserve it. She is a “best selling author” after all.

2.) Jim Ross, BBQ sauce magnate- Good ole’ JR made a surprise return, took a bump, and raised the hopes of the IWC that he’ll be behind the microphone at ‘Mania.  Boomer Sooner, people! Boomer Sooner.

3.) Beer Money, TNA tag team Legends- While it is safe to say tag team wrestling is not what it once was (and one wonders if it ever will be), James Storm and Robert Roode continue to put on great efforts and build on their legacy. It might be hard to see now, but one day  you will look back and miss one of the greatest tag teams of all-time.

4.) Florida Championship Wrestling, WWE minor leagues- Hey! They’re getting all of their major talent back thanks to Randy Orton’s boot. I bet they’re happy.

5.) Sheamus, Human Elevator of Pushes- Two weeks after being ranked number one out of pity, Sheamus is back on the list with a legit number five spot. He captured the U.S. championship with a good match against Daniel Bryan. I guess he’s not done yet!

The “Why you should really love Indy wrestling” award of the week:

Whiskey Fists MacIntosh

If I told you there is a wrestler working the Socal Indy scene that wears a kilt and does a Scottish gimmick, you’d probably scratch your head and think, “Uh, but what about a little wrestler known as Hot Rod?” While your apprehensions may appear to be valid from a distance, trust me, just spend a few minutes watching good ole’ Mad Mac conduct his trademark trainwreck interviews, get winded running the ropes mid-match, or play possum as a sauced drunk unable to work until his confused opponent is suddenly a victim of a school boy roll up and you’ll quickly see the underrated talent that is Whiskey Fists MacIntosh.

A master in-ring storyteller, Mac has a reputation as a calming locker room presence and smart worker. He’s wrestled in Drinks on the House matches, stole shows and hearts from the undercard, and started to build a strong following in local bars. Here’s one of his best interviews from some years back:

Mad Mac interviews future EWF and MPW champion Ryan Taylor

And he did finally come face to face with Piper in a May 2010 Millennium Pro Wrestling show.  How did it turn out for Whiskey?

Just ask his jaw.

The “Unsolicited TNA advice” of the week:

Don’t fire Jeff Hardy.

Yeah, that’s right. You heard me. Don’t fire him. Don’t pull him. Don’t do anything. Just let him continue to spiral out of control and bring down your last shreds of credibility one main event bust at a time. Maybe, just maybe it will have a reverse affect and you’ll actually start getting ratings from all the people tuning in to see what happens next because “it couldn’t possibly get worse.”  

Whatever you do… don’t take a responsible hard-line stance against this human being apparently in real trouble. Just keep encouraging him, just keep giving him the spotlight (which is different from second chances.), just keep on keeping on.

Unless… of course… this is all a work.

Fast Count…

The way I see it…  The Miz is doing everything right on the Road to WrestleMania.  While the Rock and Cena have hogged the spotlight with their Promo War, the Most Must See Champion… Ever has tapped into his brutal side and opened up a new facet to his character. We first really saw that flash when he attacked Randy Orton pre-Royal Rumble, but now it’s grown in his assault on Cena. As an added bonus… we got the best Rock impersonation since the one The Rock did his final full-time year.

I would totally love it if…  Kurt Angle one day goes back on his word and finishes his wrestling career in a WWE ring. He’s a trooper for standing by his company and locker room, but he’s still got some great matches left in those boots and they should be on the biggest stages possible.

I gotta think… Daniel Bryan is in a precarious position. His U.S. title reign was long enough to matter in the history books, but too understated to make an impact on today’s scene. (Though, how many WWE title reigns DO make an impact these days?) It was a small miracle that he got the title push to begin with, but now that he dropped it without much fanfare to Sheamus; the mid-card bog will be a hard place to escape.

I must confess…  the more I see of the Madison Rayne Prom Queen gimmick the more I like it. And, yes, the reason I keep watching her segments over and over on my DVR is strictly for WrestleZone research.

Come on, admit it…  there are more Pro Wrestling fans out there than care to admit. Has to be… how else would the WWE: The History of WrestleMania DVD be sold out everywhere I went to buy it? Huh? Huh? Huh? Now I’ll never know the story behind Hercules taking on King Haku!!!

Sure…  it’s going to be part of a celebrity gimmick match, but you have to be excited to see what John Morrison and Dolph Ziggler are cooking up for their portion of the WrestleMania 27 six-person tag match.   

Quick…  how many of you totally thought The Genius was going to lead the Beverly Brothers to the tag team titles? I had bet my Leaping Lanny Poffo Frisbee collection on it.

Ken Napzok is a writer, comedian, and pro wrestling manager living in Los Angeles.  He still has the toga he wore for WrestleMania IX. He can be followed online at twitter.com/kozpan and twitter.com/TexTunney or contacted at wzkennapzok@gmail.com.

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