EXCLUSIVE: What Rhymes With Bore?; Fattitude; Multi-Tasking

Mark Madden

WHAT RHYMES WITH BORE?

So, TNA is going to turn the Angle-Jarrett menage-a-bore into a storyline. On TV and everything!

Before we all wet our pants with voyeuristic glee, let’s take a refresher course in common sense: If Karen Angle divorcing Kurt, then marrying Jeff Jarrett was a legitimate hot-button topic with anyone involved, it would not be on TV. From what I hear, Kurt was glad to be rid of Karen, and by any means necessary. That means any emotion shown will be manufactured, i.e. a work. So who cares?

Wrestling 101: If it’s on TV, it’s fake.

Karen Angle should write her autobiography. If she told the whole truth, Larry Flynt would have to publish it.

FATTITUDE

Wrestlers often work far past their primes, and for peanuts, because they spend it as soon as they get it. They still look vaguely like the guy who used to be over, but they’re puffy, they don’t update their look or ring costumes, and their work has diminished. In short, they turn into sad caricatures of what they used to be.

The Hardy Boyz look like that NOW. At 36 and 33, respectively.

YOU’RE INVITED BUT YOUR FRIEND CAN’T COME

Much uproar in the kingdom of the Kliq because Scott Hall and Sean Waltman are fairly BOASTING that they’ll attend Shawn Michaels’ WWE Hall of Fame induction ceremony whether they’re invited or not.

Anybody ask HBK? What makes Hall and Waltman think Michaels WANTS them there given their predilection for trouble? Kevin Nash, yeah…he’s civilized. Hall and Waltman left civility behind AGES AGO. Triple H left Hall and Waltman behind AGES AGO. Nash didn’t…which makes him one of wrestling’s good souls, if a bit misguided.

I’ve long maintained that Mario Lemieux is the best hockey player ever…but if you argued on behalf of Wayne Gretzky or Bobby Orr, I’d be hard-pressed to dispute. I’ve long maintained that Ric Flair is the greatest wrestler ever…but if you argued on behalf of HBK, I wouldn’t say you’re wrong.

I hope Madusa gets in the WWE Hall of Fame, if only so we can check on the status of those HUGE JUGS.

Is anything more pathetic than a Twitter war? Good luck to Gregory Helms in Lucha Libre USA. That speaks for itself. I always liked Helms but boy, anyone connected with the Hardys belongs in a straitjacket these days.

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