EXCLUSIVE: Hey, Lacey…How Much?

Mark Madden

HEY, LACEY…HOW MUCH?

Hey, Lacey…How much?

For the record, Lacey Von Erich is NOT engaging in prostitution, just man-on-woman wrestling videotaped from a point-of-view perspective. It’s more like porn. I’m sure Lacey’s fiancée and child feel better about that. It’s just a short leap to prostitution, though, so I want to make something clear: If Lacey is selling, I’m buying.

MANY e-mails criticize my negativity. Correspondents insult me gratuitously, but turn into wounded doves when I retaliate. Sample: “F*** you, fat boy.” My response: “Go f*** yourself.” Their response: “How unprofessional. I’m complaining to WrestleZone management.” Go ahead. While you’re at it, mention that you wrote, “F*** you, fat boy.” Wait a minute…WrestleZone has MANAGEMENT?

But there are a FEW things I like about wrestling:

*If CM Punk and John Cena are going to feud, I’m going to watch. I had Punk on my radio show last year. Punk is truly a student of the game, and has a firmer grip on his character than most. That’s occasionally landed him in hot water with WWE management, because Punk is not the type to just do what he’s told. But his great work as Raw color commentator got Punk back in the good books. He’s all healed up, and he’s going to get a push.

Punk’s size is always going to work against him. But, like Jericho, Punk overcomes.

Punk’s straight-edge character is BRILLIANT. It makes people hate what’s GOOD. Not doing drugs…is GOOD. Not drinking…is GOOD. Not smoking…IS GOOD. Not being promiscuous…well, given chance, I’d go the other way, but you get the idea.

Point is, it’s great psychology to make people go against what’s normally righteous. To HATE…what’s GOOD. Punk’s arrogance, his superiority complex…it all makes CM Punk is one of wrestling’s only true original characters of the last two decades.

*I love Sheamus. For a long time, he shared the same voice everybody else uses for promos. But he’s broken free from that to some degree. The white skin, the red hair, the accent, the verbiage…again, it’s original.

Sheamus is also what I call a true bully. That’s good. Most heels want too badly to be tough. They become the proverbial COOL HEEL. When a bully takes a stand, when he holds his ground and fights…you call THAT a BABYFACE. Sheamus powders once in a while. He does what bullies do. He is what a bully almost always is: A COWARD who TALKS TOO MUCH.

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