It’s Such A Fine Line Between Stupid And Clever

Mark Madden

IT’S SUCH A FINE LINE BETWEEN STUPID AND CLEVER

OK, so “they” and Fortune are one big happy family. Kevin Nash and Sting went home. Kurt Angle is taking time off. Who will the heels feud with? EV2? RVD? UDA? IRA? Another council tenancy? Mick Foley? Sloppy Joe? WOW! COMPELLING!

Even more laughable than yet another Hogan resurrection is the attempt to again present Jeff Jarrett as something other than mid-card blah. I don’t even know what to say. It’s bestiality, sadism and necrophilia – i.e. BEATING A DEAD HORSE.

A little over a year ago Jeff Hardy was one of wrestling’s biggest stars. Now he’s a Hogan stooge. GOSH DARN THE PUSHER MAN!

Dixie Carter, of course, is now lead babyface. MONEY!

I have what I deem a fair inquiry: Has Dixie had sex with anyone in her employ, and has it affected her decision-making process? I hear rumors. If it affects the product, it’s every TNA fan’s business. SUCKAS GOTS TA KNOW!

Has Dixie figured out, by the way, that getting hoodwinked out of TNA doesn’t exactly depict her in a flattering light? She was DUMB ENOUGH TO SIGN A CONTRACT SHE DIDN’T READ. I think Eric Bischoff did that with Rick Steiner once.

Can I raise a practical question at this point?

What, exactly, does the Bischoff-Hogan alliance gain by “controlling” TNA? What advantage does that offer? They clearly don’t have the wherewithal to make TNA a success. If they “control” TNA, why keep Dixie around? (Maybe that ties back into what I deem a fair inquiry.) Wouldn’t a court feel Dixie got swindled, restoring her ownership? Dixie wanted Bischoff and Hogan to run TNA in the first place, right? So what’s the big deal? Bischoff and Hogan could make the most money liquidating the company’s assets and selling the tape library to Vince. Why don’t they do that?

NO, WE’RE NOT GONNA F***ING DO “STONEHENGE”!

I know this is a desperate attempt to recreate the formation of the nWo. But at Bash at the Beach in 1996, the garbage-throwers weren’t plants. Much bigger crowd, too. Actual stars were involved. People cared.

The nWo was an invading army from WWF. The Bischoff-Hogan alliance is an occupying force of paycheck-stealers. In 1996, it was WCW vs. WWF. Now, it’s the guys who can’t draw against the guys who can’t draw. There’s no ISSUE, real or perceived.

This gets worse EVERY SINGLE WEEK. If you want to masturbate to occasionally gaining a tenth of a point in the ratings, knock yourself out. But I’ve played the ratings game long enough to know jumps or drops THAT SMALL indicate nothing.

By the way, why would J-Woww punk Robbie and Cookie? The whole idea of her presence should be to VALIDATE THE GIMMICK.

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