Facts Hurt, Don’t They Eric?

Bob Bamber

Anyway, enough of the facts, let’s deal in good old fashioned opinion.

Eric Bischoff started the show saying that Abyss’ actions were reprehensible. Wasn’t this the
same Bischoff that booked Abyss’ vs RVD in a “Stairway to Janice” match? What did he
expect?

Anyway…

Impact was awful this week. Ric Flair’s stellar promo aside there was very little to write
home about. How about we start with the TNA World Heavyweight Title Tournament.

This was a tournament that apparently included the Top 8 of TNA’s Top 10 rankings. (Lets
ignore the fact that this has ruined Kurt Angle’s march through the top 10). This was a top
8 that didn’t include Abyss (ranked number 1 in the previous rankings), AJ Styles (who was
placed 6 before losing to Kurt Angle), and Hernandez (who was effectively 8th after losing
to Angle on Impact last month). But did include Rob Terry (who has lost twice in recent
weeks to Styles), The Pope (who moved into the top 8 from 9th despite being beaten by Matt
Morgan on The Whole F’n Show) and Jay Lethal (whose only action since beating Ric Flair
at Victory Road was a loss to the “oldest player in the game” – in a Street Fight a couple of
weeks ago).

Far from making this tournament feel relevant, TNA rushed through what probably
should’ve been 4 weeks worth of matches in one week. And proceeded to eliminate all
of the heels in the match, leaving The Pope, Angle, Anderson and Hardy – 4 men with
a combined 22 years with the WWE. Good to see TNA is pushing its own young talent.

Then we have the Fortune Vs EV2.0 feud. That’s the remake of The Four Horseman – the
joke being there’s seven members…(must stop trying to apply logic to TNA – all it seems
to do is give me a headache). Now we’ve got a man in his sixties, whose trying to defend
a company he’s barely been in for 6 months, from a takeover from a bunch of over the hill
wrestlers. Now (with headache tablets sat next to the keyboard) this storyline might make
a bit of sense with Fortune being the faces, and EV2 being the heels. Fortune – the faces,
defending the honour of their company from an invading army of over the hill wrestlers who
are taking their PPV spots and stealing their pay checks.

But why book an angle well when you can book it badly (That’s a mantra Vince Russo
has lived by for the last 20 years). So instead we’re left with AJ Styles cutting a very heel
promo “This is the house that I built”, and the EV2.0 guys being booked as the faces. If this
ends in a 7-on-7 match I’m tempted to blow my brains out.

Eric Bischoff claims that his focus groups want to see “established stars”. The problem for
Bischoff, is that established stars have a certain shelf-life. At one point in their career, there
is no doubt that Hulk Hogan, Sting, Kevin Nash, Ric Flair, Jeff Jarrett and Mick Foley were
established stars. But there becomes a time when said stars stop being established stars, and
instead become over the hill. Remarkably, for this 19-year-old writer, for most of them, it
wasn’t that long after I was born.

In terms of what “established stars” TNA have that can still be placed into that category. Kurt
Angle most definitely fits (even if he’s probably beginning to wind down his career), and AJ
Styles and Samoa Joe do too. But, hey, why do a job well when you can do it badly? (Russo
owns a shirt with that slogan on).

So instead of presenting us with a roster full of potential and established stars, we get an
ongoing feuds between Hulk Hogan and Kevin Nash, that seem to have merged with Jeff
Jarrett and Sting. This, apparently is Hogan and co. “stepping back”, and letting the younger
stars through.

It’s only a shame that the Series between The MCMG and Beer Money wasn’t a “Best of 52
Series” – because that was the only thing people were tuning in for. Hulk Hogan in a segment
this week said he considered quitting – PLEASE!!!!! And take Vince and Eric with you.
There are tribes in the middle of the Amazon rainforest who (as yet untouched by modern
civilisation) could book better, more logical, and less patronising storylines that TNA do. I
want TNA to succeed, I really do, but it’s hard to do anything but crap all over what was a
dreadful two hour showing.

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