The Bruno Vortex

Sammartino’s story isn’t far from the “easy way, hard way” apocrypha concerning Lou Thesz’ NWA championship win over Rogers in Toronto just four months earlier. That match wasn’t a shoot, either. Legend has it that Rogers was scared of Thesz, so he went along with the planned title switch.

 

If his WWWF championship win over Rogers was a shoot, Bruno would have beaten him. Guys who bench-press over 500 pounds can generally beat up recovering heart attack victims.

 

Bruno would have had a tougher time with Thesz or Karl Gotch, two noted shooters. Gotch openly ridiculed Sammartino’s toughness, comparing Sammartino’s backbreaker finish to “hoisting a sack of sugar up on your shoulders.” Thesz or Gotch would have twisted Bruno into a pretzel in a legit match.

 

But that doesn’t matter, because pro wrestling isn’t a shoot. Sammartino had charisma; that’s what counts. He drew BIG money; that’s what counts. He had a great career; that’s what counts.

 

But Sammartino can’t be happy with that. Maybe it’s self-loathing for being a fake. Maybe it’s jealousy of legit tough guys like Thesz and Gotch. Maybe it’s because latter-day stars like Austin and Hogan made more money, got national exposure and remain, to this day, a bigger part of the public consciousness than Bruno.

 

But whatever the reason may be, it’s nuts. To present wrestling as a shoot in a newspaper is nuts. It’s nuts for the newspaper to print it, because the writer and his editors surely know better.

 

At 74, Bruno Sammartino should have heightened fame. He should be at WrestleMania Sunday, not some local charity banquet tomorrow. He should be on Monday night TV occasionally, burnishing his image and maybe punching a bad guy from ringside.

 

But he’d rather be bitter and miserable. He’d rather lie.

 

Some might see it as Bruno preserving his integrity. What integrity? He was a fake wrestler. That’s OK. America loves a good fake wrestler. There’s no shame in being an old fake wrestler.

 

Unless the old fake wrestler in question thinks so.

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Mark Madden can be reached at wzmarkmadden@hotmail.com. 

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