RANK THE DIVAS IN ORDER OF HOW MUCH YOU’D LIKE TO SLEEP WITH THEM:
Now that would be an awards show worth watching. Instead, we get this weak, Daytime Emmy ripoff that will be airing Monday night. Like Steve Anderson hit on in his column yesterday, The Slammys provided some campy, fun moments in the 80’s. The ones in the 90’s were not nearly as fun. And this Monday’s return of the awards will undoubtedly be the least fun of all! The camp and cheese factor will be gone, the results will be arbitrary, and Stephanie McMahon will appear on my TV. Feh. Since there is no actual explanation for how these award winners are selected, we can only assume the answer will be “whatever furthers their creative agenda the most.” So here are my predictions…please file these under the collective banner of who cares.
– Superstar of the Year: Triple H –
– Match of the Year: Shawn Michael vs Ric Flair –
– Diva of the Year: Michelle McCool –
– OMG Moment of the Year: CM Punk cashes in MitB
– Damn! Moment of the Year: Santino tries Melina’s entrance –
– Tag Team of the Year: Miz & Morrison –
– Best Finisher: Bourne’s Shooting Star Press –
– Extreme Moment of the Year: Hardy’s swanton bomb onto Orton from the RAW set –
– Couple of the Year: Glamarella –
– Best WWE.com Exclusive: “The Dirt Sheet” –
– Breakout Star of the Year: Kozlov –
– Best Musical Performance: R-Truth –
– Announce Team of the Year: Jerry Lawler & Michael Cole –
– Best Impersonation: Charlie Haas as The Glamahaas”
In other words, we are in for a craptastic night of stupidity on Monday! Maybe I’ll just DVR some daytime soaps and watch them from 8-11…there’s likely to be just as much wrestling action!
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