Hey there, Shenanigans readers. If man is the father of the son is the center of the earth, in the middle of the universe…then why is this verse coming six times rehearsed? Donât freestyle much, but I write â~em like such.
I mean, itâs good to be here for another edition of Offbeat Shenanigans. I was just watching an excellent Japanese match between Amazing (Awesome) Kong and Nattie Neidhart. I guess nobody told them that theyâre inferior to male wrestlers, so, if you see them, let them know to lay off the high spots.
This weekâs column starts…now.
âSpoiling the Heck Out of TNAâs Genesisâ
Okay, so the other day I was sitting around, in all likelihood, Googling my own name. (See that, collegiate track star, Kevin McElvaney? Iâve finally pulled ahead of you in the Google rankings!) I was also thinking about the current state of TNA, which is Florida. Had enough schtick yet? Yeah, me too. Anyway, I was pondering, specifically, the main event of the Genesis pay-per-view. Thereâs a lot of suspicion that Booker T will be in the main event tag match, where Sting picks his own partner.
At first, this seemed like an excellent observation. But then, I thought – âNah.â I have this strong gut feeling that Booker isnât starting with TNA just yet. Of course, Iâll probably end up being very wrong. I hope Iâm not, though, because Iâve come up with a far more interesting turn of events for Genesis. So Iâm hoping that TNA plans to save the Booker debut for another day and time, as much as Iâll enjoy it. Because my idea is just that interesting.
According to TNAâs mobile service, Stingâs partner is a former multi-time world champion – who wore the strap for every promotion where he wrestled. Now, correct me if Iâm wrong, but doesnât that fit the description of a wrestler whoâs already in TNA? In fact, it does. And, no, Iâm not talking about Samoa Joe…although… No, my guess is quite a bit more outrageous than Joe. Ready for it? Okay, here it is. Stingâs tag partner is…Kevin Nash.
âBut Kev, you handsome devil,â you say. âKevin Nash is already Kurt Angleâs partner.â Exactly, loyal reader. Kevin Nash is Kurt Angleâs partner. And heâs also Stingâs partner. Why? Because this is a classic swerve. Kevin Nash fits all of the clues given about who the wrestler is. He doesnât get along entirely with either Angle or Sting, but obviously has respect for both of them. Fans will tune in to see who Stingâs partner is, and theyâll get a hard-fought triple threat between Sting, Angle, and Nash. The man who scores the fall wins the title. Get it??
Major creativity points here, as no one will be expecting Nash – except, of course, my readers, who have just become far less curious about Genesis. The problem with having Nash be each manâs partner is that, after the initial shock wears off, fans may feel a bit âcheatedâ that there wasnât an actual âpartnerâ for Sting. And, of course, Booker T will wonder why heâs backstage at the show, in full ring gear. But that doesnât matter, readers, because those first few seconds of shock will be AMAZING.
Also, I have to say that a triple threat between Angle, Sting, and Nash really interests me. Personally, I feel this match could main event the next two pay-per-views without feeling stale. I also feel that the âfirst fall gets the titleâ tag matches kind of cheapen the concept of a heavyweight title, anyway. Those stipulations are exactly what gave Vince McMahon and David Arquette their first respective world championships. Could this be how Mr. Arquette – currently reported to be in negotiations with TNA – wins his second? No. Like I said, itâs Nash.
So, there you have it. Kevin Nash is the partner of both Kurt Angle and Sting. TNA writers, Iâm sorry that Iâm tempting you to do some last minute rewrites, here. But, rest assured, Iâm free to help you with them, if youâre alright with working by email.
Readers, if the Nash & Angle vs. Nash & Sting match doesnât take place at Genesis, itâs only because the TNA creative team is trying to swerve you and make me look bad. Or, you know, that Booker T is all set to make his TNA debut.
I do have another spoiler to report, though, and you can take this one to the bank. You read it here first on Shenanigans: it is all but confirmed that Don West will get very, very excited several times during the Genesis broadcast. Shh! Donât tell TNA I spoiled you.
Kevin is also a contributing writer for Pro Wrestling Illustrated and The Wrestler. Send questions, comments, and computerized sheet music for Rushâs album, 2112, to kjmcelvaney@yahoo.com
