Tugboat Is The Greatest Wrestler Ever

Ken Napzok

The Wrestling Opinionalist

Tugboat is the Greatest Wrestler Ever.  Punk’s Promo.

            Well, well, well I had a very nice piece planned for this week in which I clearly and passionately explained that the greatest wrestler of all-time was Tugboat. There were charts, graphs, and an absolutely breathtaking photo collage. It was my masterpiece, my life’s work put into an essay. Tugboat was going to have his day. But, I’m going to have to mothball it because something else happened last Monday night that changed the landscape of professional wrestling forever.

            Or at least until July 18th.

            CM Punk (former tag team partner of CM Venom) went on WWE television and called Triple H a doofus.
           
            Whoa.



He said some other stuff, too. For a moment, everyone believed it was one hundred percent real. Then everyone realized that WWE programming is a tightly run ship and there is no way they would have let him go on shooting by the time he uttered the words “Hulk” and “Hogan.” Then everyone thought it was a worked shoot. Then they realized he never mentioned TNA so it became a worked, worked real shoot… with a twist.  

 

Then everyone started drooling over the possibilities of what will happen from here on out. Lot of talk about things like Punk will win the WWE title and then go defend it against Colt Cabana, Mike Bennett, and Grizzly Redwood in Ring of Honor, New Japan, and David Lagana’s living room. Or Punk has already resigned with the WWE so he’ll lose the title to Cena at Money in the Extreme Rules Over the Punishment: In Your House, but start a faction called Team Heyman and they’ll invade NXT. Or CM Punk set-up a WM 28 match with Triple H. Or one with Stephanie McMahon.

 

There is talk about a “new” era for the WWE. We’ll call it the “Even the 90 percenters will now know who Johnny Ace is” era. There is talk about what this does to Cena, The Rock, The Miz, Brock Lesnar, Hillbilly Jim, or the WrestleMania main event. There is talk about the “go home show” Raw episode. There is talk about will it fizzle or will they fumble it.

 

There is talk. A lot of it. And that’s the point.

 

So, here is my official The Wrestling Opinionalist take, analysis, and thoughts about the CM Punk promo on the June 27th, 2011 edition of Monday Night Raw:

 

That was awesome.        

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