Rankings (That don’t really matter)
1.) Davey Richards, Best in the World- The Ring of Honor World Championship carries with it a certain aura. It is a stamp of approval and usually a harbinger of greater things to come. And there is no better worker on the ROH roster right now to take that mantle than the American Wolf. He is dedicated, humble, and most certainly worthy of a long reign.
2.) Chris Hero & Claudio Castagnoli, Kings of Wrestling (Self-proclaimed)- If it comes to pass and the two blue chippers make the jump to the WWE, then you should congratulate them. They put in the time and have earned the chance to make the big bucks. Do not cry for them and their eventual rebranding. I’m suggesting they join up with Seth Rollins and become a stable called Honor Ring. (I’m kidding, I’m kidding. But just in case I’ve filed for the trademark on that. It’s for sale, Vince.)
3.) Chavo Guerrero, Underused Enhancement Talent- He asked for his release and got his wish. He is now free to take all his underused talent, ring presence, and mic skills to the rest of the world. So… see you at WrestleReunion next to Mitch from the Spirit Squad, right Chavo?
4.) John Laurinaitis, Colt Cabana, and Ring of Honor, Punk Fodder- The “ten percenters” loved the references, but there were a whole bunch of other people that probably spent some time googling the stuff they didn’t understand in Punk’s now legendary promo. Press is press.
5.) Cheerleader Melissa, Video Vixen- While the long form music video for the Smashing Pumpkin’s song “Owata” is a tad convoluted; it does serve one great purpose: Reminds you that there is just no possible reason for Melissa Anderson not to be in the WWE. She’s a talented, experienced worker with a sexy toughness. Sure, she’s had the ole’ “try out” match, but I wanna see Melissa run roughshod over the Diva’s until she’s stopped by an old friend named Kharma.
The “Unsolicited TNA advice” of the week:
Let the Bound for Glory Series become what it has set out to be.
In comedy, if you have to explain your joke then the bit just ain’t working. At first glance, the same might be said for the Bound for Glory Series. There’s a scoring system, rankings, points for this, points for that, and it all ends in a few months. Plus, it’s being put on by TNA and that is a hard sell in terms of track record. (What happened to those top ten rankings?) Put this all together and you’d have a right to be dubious.
However, if you take a step back and take the Bound for Glory Series at face value, the potential starts to shine through. With many fans these days crying for more wrestling and less entertainment here is a concept that rewards wins, highlights the competition, and potentially brings together talent we have not seen work against each other in awhile or ever. (While not a barn burning, Bully Ray versus Scott Steiner was a decent change of pace.) It was also fun to see “highlights” from some of the recent TNA house show matches that were part of the Bound for Glory Series. It added some importance to those shows and that’s a welcome twist. For decades now house shows by the big companies have been treated as somewhat of an “alternate” reality; where nothing happens and rarely does it affect what you see on TV. If they let this play out and build some momentum then TNA will have a new way of spotlighting their talent and, if it becomes a successful annual event, a method to immediately build new talent. It harkens back to the days of the Crockett Cup or even WrestleMania IV; when belts and tournaments were made to mean something.
Any new idea takes some getting used to, but TNA is in a position where they have to try new things. History does not bode well for the success of the Bound for Glory Series, but, for once, hold off judgment until the end. If done right (and I’ll let the ten percenters roll around in that IF) TNA will have an annual summer event to hang their hat on.
The “Why you should really love Indy wrestling” award of the week:
In front of a sold crowd of maybe one hundred and cameras recording for a pay-to-play local television show that serves as a late night set-up to NEW episodes of Elvira’s Movie Macabre, tag teams The RockNes Monsters (Johnny Goodtime and Johnny Yuma) and The Cutler Brothers continued their on-going feud with a wild, crazy, and downright dangerous Falls Count Anywhere match for a recent episode of NWA Championship Wrestling from Hollywood. If you haven’t seen it, then go out and use the power of the Internet to find it. You will enjoy it.
What stands out more than anything in the match is the passion and love of the game that these teams have. They essentially put their lives on the line, fighting all over the small theatre on La Brea Ave in the heart of Hollywood, for the sake of a good old fashioned wrestling story. They didn’t do it for the spotlight or the applause. They didn’t do it to get closer to the bright lights of the big time. And they certainly didn’t do it for the cash. They did it because, at some point in their youth, all four men decided that they loved professional wrestling enough to pursue it, to study it, to learn it, and to make it their own.
The long match to start the June 25th show could have easily slipped into pandering for “oohs” and “aaahhs.” The falls count anywhere motif could have easily been a cheap gimmick, one that countless Indy feds run because they feel, well, that they have to because Paul Heyman did it years ago. It could have just been bad… a low rent district match by workers not capable of executing it properly. But, it wasn’t. It was a fun match in a hot story put on by four young wrestlers dedicated (and brave enough) to make it work.
And someone tell Johnny Yuma to never, ever leap from the exit sign again!
Fast Count…
The way I see it… Zack Ryder should just start shooting on WWE Superstars. Something like: He starts his match with Yoshi Barreta, hits the Rough Ryder twenty seconds in, grabs the mic, and just starts giving the most real “Are you serious, bro?” shoot promo since Scott Stanford ran down his high school girlfriend for not liking Strike Force. He calls out Vince for ribbing him at the Long Island Raw, attacks John Morrison for being a wimp, and blames his lack of a push on the WWE Universe not liking his long pants, short trunks outfit of last year. The top brass couldn’t ignore him then. Take care, spike your hair. Shoot, shoot, shoot… you know it.
I would totally love it if… Kofi Kingston and Dolph Ziggler didn’t face each other again… for at least, you know, two weeks or so. It certainly is not about the quality of their matches, they can put on some good bouts, but when they face each other again and again it just really highlights the lather, rinse, repeat pattern that Raw can fall into it.
I gotta think… Ted DiBiase is happy to get the regular TV time despite it coming at the price of being labeled the “protege” of his former tag team partner. (The same one that everyone just KNEW DiBiase would surpass.) I guess they’ll be trying for the poorman’s Miz-Alex Riley storyline, but, at this point, I can’t see Ted getting the kind of rub needed to finally get over. Sadly.
I must confess… I enjoyed seeing a good, old fashioned Tornado tag team match. Miz/ Swagger/ Riley/ Mysterio worked well together. The match had some moments that looked suspiciously like wrestling.
Come on, admit it… you enjoyed watching the Uso’s War Dance entrance more so because you thought, for a brief second, that since a little extra TV time was being devoted to an actual tag team that this meant the much hoped for WWE tag team division rebirth was starting. Then the Uso’s lost and ruined that dream.
Seriously… Sting is hacking Eric Young’s crazy gimmick. I’m calling foul.
Sure… I’ll invest some attention toward Dakota Darsow based on family name value alone. I can’t wait to see him at the Destination X pay-per… oh wait… he jobbed to some Indy guy with a name that sounds like a wine cooler. Awesome.
Quick… someone tell Eve that she’s wearing Mickie James clothes.
Ken Napzok is a writer, comedian, and pro wrestling manager living in Los Angeles. He’ll be drinking Diet Pepsi on July 17th. He can be followed online at twitter.com/Kozpan and twitter.com/TexTunney or contacted at wzkennapzok@gmail.com.
