The “Unsolicited TNA advice” of the week:
Keep doing what you started with the Angle-RVD match.
Trying to tap into their Wrestling Matters theme, TNA presented a main event of Kurt Angle versus Rob Van Dam. The promos, the build-up, and the intros all pointed to this being a match based on true competition. A… dare we say… wrestling match between two guys who had never squared off before. (Though they still tied it to the Jarrett feud.) They did a great job on the pre-match hype. Yes, I said it, great job.
Unfortunately the match started.
The match itself was 8 minutes of less than inspiring wrestling in which two aging warriors started to remind you that they were aging. That’s not a total swipe at those two as both clearly still know how to bring it, but the chemistry wasn’t quite there. Give them another match or two and it just might be gold. This is not about the match itself, though, this is about baby steps. You can’t swing for the fences yet. Nothing is perfect the first time out; you have to edit, tweak, and form it into what you want. You can fix the opponents, match quality, or match length later. The presentation of the match and how it was sold was the key area and it was very much on the right road.
A New Place in History for…
Global Wrestling Federation.
Running from 1991 to 1994 from the famous Sportatorium in Dallas, the GWF was a short lived federation designed to recapture the WCCW fervor from the early eighties. While it failed to recapture the glory of Fritz Von Erich’s promotion, it should not be overlooked. Global ran daily on ESPN for a stretch and it was through that program that many wrestling fans first got a glimpse of an impressive list of talent.
Scotty Anthony (Raven)
Lighting Kid (X-Pac)
The Ebony Experience (Booker T and Stevie Ray)
Johnny Hawk (JBL)
Handsome Stranger (Marcus Alexander Bagwell)
The Soultaker (The Godfather)
Moadib (Ahmed Johnson)
Other veterans like the Freebirds, Butch Reed, Gary Hart, Kerry Von Erich, Chris Adams, Rip Rogers, Manny Fernandez, and Cactus Jack made appearances and were a part of the main storylines. Makhan Singh was a scary big man still a few years away from becoming Bastion Booger. The Patriot was a breakout face. Eddie Gilbert was the champion and primary booker during the “golden age” of Global.
The storylines and action were pretty simple, cut and dry territory wrestling, but it was accessible to the viewer and fun to watch. (Wrestling mattered) The broadcasts would include references to other promotions or the wrestlers past experiences. (Gasp!) The WWF tried to sue them because they felt the word “Global” was too close to “World.” (But Vince doesn’t watch the competition!) By 1993, the wheels had started to come off and it had already become a footnote thanks to a lack of continued television presence on ESPN. But there is certainly a legacy there and if you can dig up some old tapes you’ll have yourself an entertaining afternoon. Watch it for no other reason than to see the storyline in which Manny Vilalobos was suffering through car and money problems and had trouble getting to the ring on time. What drama as Manny ran out from the back trying to put on his boots to make the bell while the announcers talked about Manny’s recent money problems.
Brilliant!
Long live the Global Wrestling Federation.
Little Known Wrestling Trivia…
Thought to be nothing more than a bad gimmick and ill-fated idea to bring the “new generation of WWF stars into the 21st Century,” the tag team Tekno Team 2000, comprised of the uber-talented Travis and Troy, has often been overlooked in the annuals of professional wrestling. Their spectacular matches with The Heavenly Bodies, The Bodydonnas, and the powerhouse team of Barry Horowitz and Brooklyn Brawler should have garnered more respect than they received. After a June 3rd, 1996 loss to the Godwinns on Monday Night Raw they disappeared from the WWF. Many thought that Travis and Troy were Chad Fortune and Eric “Son of Bill” Watts, but that is actually wrong. Though they closely resembled the two former football stars, Travis and Troy were actually warriors from the future (the year 2000… whoa!) sent back in time to make sure pro wrestling would never be taken seriously by your older brother.
Fast Count…
The way I see it… you simply cannot base your new image on a “Wrestling Matters” theme and then announce that Winter and Angelina Love’s story goes back for centuries. If wrestling matters then tie the feud into their professional past (made up or not.) or just drop the weird feud before it turns into a bad Single White Female parody. (Or a The Roommate parody for those in the crowd under twenty-five.) Pick a lane.
I would totally love it if… big Andy uses his Silent Rage to defeat Luke in the Tough Enough finals, but Luke has future FCW tag team champ written all over him. (Where he’ll be known as Devon Smooth or Ryan Average.) You almost have to start believing the rumors that Luke was the choice from the start. I mean, that’s so crazy though, right? A reality competition show having its winner pre-selected. That never happens!
I gotta think… the WWE Averno signing is a smart way to protect your Sin Cara investment. At least in the short term. If this doesn’t work then years from now we can all ask “where were you when Sin Cara was future endeavored before Curt Hawkins, Jackson Andrews, and the Uso that looks more like Rikishi than the other one?”
I must confess… I loved the honesty to the Kharma promo, but I’m more than puzzled as to why it happened. Meaning: this is the first time in a long while (in my limited memory) that I can recall the WWE DIRECTLY addressing something the Internet Wrestling Community reported. Many, many other angles, feuds, and characters have been waylaid for various reasons broadcast to all via the Web yet never addressed on TV. Why now? Why with this character? Don’t forget, most of the TV audience DOES NOT read news sites. So, why address it? Not saying it’s bad, not saying it’s good… just wondering why this almost groundbreaking move took place.
Come on, admit it… you’ve already forgot that New Nexus members David Otunga and Husky Harris are the new WWE tag team champions. Sorry. I mean Michael McGullicutty and Mason Ryan. No. Wait. It’s Otunga and Skip Sheffield. Tarver! Michael McTarvercutty and Bob “Spark Plug” Holly. Phew. For a second, I thought I forgot.
Seriously… “Shut up and bag yourselves” is going to be the Next Great T-shirt. Cody Rhodes is my hero.
Sure… he was a memorable, if not infamous, wrestling sideshow, but I don’t understand why Randy Orton is paying homage to Giant Gonzalez with that beard?
Quick… any one seen those “managers” we were supposed to get?
Ken Napzok is a writer, comedian, and pro wrestling manager living in Los Angeles. He just purchased his first Scott Stanford T-shirt. He can be followed online at twitter.com/Kozpan and twitter.com/TexTunney or contacted at wzkennapzok@gmail.com.
