Random Raw Thoughts

Justin LaBar

WWE RawRANDOM RAW THOUGHTS

*Is anything worse than a show-long retirement tribute for a guy EVERYBODY KNOWS IS NOT RETIRING?

*Did even 5 percent of the WWE Universe (gag) know the names Jerry Lawler mentioned, or understand the concept of “Memphis”? That said, I popped when C.M. Punk started singing like Andy Kaufman: “I’m the king, I’m the king…”

*The anger management skits were horrifically amateur. They made Charlie Sheen’s crappy sitcom look like Twelfth Night starring Sir Laurence Olivier.

*Everything Lawler does, works. He knows the craft perfectly. That’s why they keep using him. Strap down? Fist drop? I popped. You know Punk did, too.

*Daniel Bryan came off as the sanest person at “anger management.” I agreed with everything he said to the doctor on the way out the door.

*For Punk to get booed in Chicago next week, he’ll have to piss on Mayor Daley’s grave.

*Kane doing comedy seems ill-advised. But he was the funniest part of those skits.

*Raw’s main purpose is to serve as a backdrop and conduit for social media. It’s absurdly overbearing. It’s total insanity…or maybe sheer genius.

*Heath Slater always entertains me.

*Santino’s arm = BIG GREEN PENIS. Now that it has a mind of its own, anyway.

*Nothing quite tops off a match featuring four guys nobody cares about like Josh Matthews on color, BRINGING THE BLAND.

*KIDS DANCING! PG FOREVER!

*Triple H comes to the ring. “YOU TAPPED OUT” sign. Go to another shot! “HBK WAS BETTER THAN YOU” sign. FIRE THE DIRECTOR!

*Lou Gehrig’s farewell speech was better. Earth to marks: HE’S NOT RETIRING!

*I expected Ryder vs. Otunga to end in a scoreless tie. ZERO vs. ZERO.

*The Cole/Kane announce team was hilarious: “Kane, I’m not sure if you’re into social media at all…” Best thing Kane could do was say nothing.

*Does Lawler always take his tights to the arena just in case?

*Lawler is SO GOOD. He sells looking at the cage. Who does that? AWESOME.

*Punk is SO GOOD. He sells Lawler’s initial punch BIG. Then Punk lands two kicks, a punch and a knee…and goes back to selling Lawler’s punch. AWESOME.

*Punk-Lawler made this a GOOD SHOW. But three hours is still WAY TOO LONG.

*Doesn't matter whether Lawler says it or not: Punk is truly THE BEST IN THE WORLD. The top all-around performer in the business.

Mark Madden hosts a radio show 3-6 p.m.weekdays on WXDX-FM, Pittsburgh, PA (105.9). Check out his web page at WXDX.com. Contact Mark by emailing wzmarkmadden@hotmail.com. FOLLOW MARK ON TWITTER: @MarkMaddenX

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