Wrestling Physics and the PED

Nick Paglino

Not that I’m breaking any new ground but Bill Simmons of Grantland.com is brilliant. Read this and then check back with me.

What separates me from Simmons is that I don’t care what athletes do to get back on the field or give themselves an edge. Now Bill mainly discusses the silent hypocrisy that prevents obvious thought in his sensational article whereas I just assume everyone uses PED’s and I don’t care if they do.

CM Punk claims to be straight edge. I don’t know whether he is or is not, nor do I care. I take him at his word. Lance Armstrong said he was clean and now said he wasn’t. Why did he have to lie? Stupid… If I want to have my own blood swirled in a witch’s cauldron and put back into me while midgets dance around fire, that’s my business. If everyone in cycling is doping, as is claimed by those who follow the sport, then Lance really is the best, right?

Just like the wrestling truism that if everyone is the same, then no one stands out.

This is a rarely-discussed philosophy under the banner of “Wrestling Physics”. The differences between rich and poor, happy and sad, good and evil, etc. are from where you get emotion at the elemental level. If a booker can set out intriguing matches between opponents who connect emotionally with the audience, the outcome of the matches can be more than just wins and losses.

I wonder if “Wrestling Physics” is taught at West Texas State University. That’s where Steve Corino is taking Broadcasting classes and he already has earned a Doctorate in Pro Wrestling Psychology. See his diploma at WorldofCorino.com.  It’s a great school, attended by other wrestling legends like Bruiser Brody, Stan Hansen, the Funk Brothers, Dusty Rhodes, Tully Blanchard, Bobby Duncum, Ted DiBiase, Blackjack Mulligan, Manny Fernandez and Tito Santana.

If everyone is six-feet tall, then everyone is six feet and no one stands out. Isn’t the same thing true if everyone is seven-feet tall? The common way this philosophy is categorized in professional wrestling is “if everyone is seven-feet tall, then no one is seven-feet tall”.

I never understood Vince’s belief that permeated throughout the Developmental system for years. Everyone had to be over 6’3. Combine this homogenization with a nasty fear of commitment to new talent and the WWE has a lost generation because of poor talent development.

I am a big believer in having big and small, fat and muscular, old and young, etc. on a wrestling roster. You have to have contrasts, where available. Or at the least, don’t be afraid of the differences. It goes back to the prevailing wisdom of the Attitude Era.

“There is no Good or Evil… everyone is a shade of gray.”

So, if everyone is gray, then no one is gray. You have to have “good” and “evil”. Gray is the end result of the work of good and evil. “Good” stoops to some dirty levels to thwart “evil”. If everyone is a giant, than no one is a giant.

If everyone uses PED’s, then no one uses PED’s.

Class dismissed.

What do you think about PED Usage, wrestling physics or the alumni list of West Texas State University? Chime in on Twitter @RealKevinKelly.

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