Mt. Killamanjaro: Extreme Rules 2013 Review

FINAL THOUGHTS

Extreme Rules 2013 was a bundle of hits and misses for me, but the majority of you fans seem to have enjoyed the event. As did I, but one major thing irked me throughout the night. 

Why was WWE suddenly pretending its product is real? 

As I said earlier in this review, wrestling fans know their fake sports is fake. Even the kids aren’t under being tricked like EVERYONE used to be decades ago. The curtain has been pulled back, the fans are way too smart for their own good – but we’ve all come to accept that. Even WWE, in all its quirkiness, has come to accept that in a lot of ways. It’s why you have all these gimmicks at every PPV, to make it look and feel as realistic as possible, without actually crossing the line. When the line is crossed, there’s a ridiculous media buzz, people get fined and John Cena has to do 10,000 Hail Marys and an extra Make-a-Wish promo. 

But at Extreme Rules, for some reason…WWE was hell-bent on dressing up the product as a real sport. Live instant replay? As if we all don’t know what the outcome is going to be? Stopping a Last Man Standing match, because it went “too far” – Cena got thrown through a spotlight once and the referee still finished counting. Was this because there was a real, live UFC fighter standing in the front row? 

Even Vince McMahon got in on the action, sending out a Tweet before the show expressing concern for any potential injuries sustained on the PPV. The whole thing is just maddeningly inconsistent. You can’t have an “extreme” pay-per-view, then have Jerry Lawler mock our intelligence with a fake “this isn’t part of the programming” line after the WWE title match. No King, your heart attack wasn’t a part of the programming, and it was the most compelling hour of television you’ve produced in three decades; stop treating the fans like morons. 

Most of the matches at Extreme Rules were a lot of fun, and in particular I tip my hat to Dean Ambrose, Kofi Kingston, John Cena, Ryback, Triple H and Brock Lesnar. Honestly, anybody who wasn’t in a Strap Match put forth a very solid effort. But I was so frustrated by stupid gimmicks, bad referee decisions and WWE once again trying to drop my IQ that I probably won’t ever return to anything this PPV had to offer. 

BEST MATCH: Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar

WORST MATCH: Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

  • Vince McMahon Award for Worst Commentary Job: Jerry “Too Far” Lawler
  • The Flying Goat Award for Best Spot: Cena/Ryback through the LED lights
  • Matt Hardy Award for Best Feel-Good IWC Moment: Dean Ambrose wins gold
  • Pipebomb Award for Most Surprising Moment: Randy Orton punts the Big Show
  • The Mountie Award for Stupidest Gimmick: Mike Chiod’s instant replay

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