I often get the following advice in the comments section of these columns: “IF YOU HATE WRESTLING SO MUCH, DON’T WATCH IT!”
That’s not a bad idea, especially after Monday night’s absolutely odious Raw.
Yeah, I know: The Shield this, the Wyatts that, and I like ‘em, too. But a diamond in the middle of a pile of excrement doesn’t really keep the smell down. Anyway, is Bray Wyatt face, or heel? You don’t sing along with a heel, do you?
WWE’s problem was summed up in the opening segment.
Absolutely no one wants to see/hear Stephanie McMahon. Good-looking woman, but she’s proving how irrelevant that can be.
Nonetheless, she and Triple H – who isn’t far behind on the pay-no-mind list – come out, hog a segment, say almost exactly the same thing every time, flex their scripted authority, then get someone to do something dastardly on their behalf. It is beyond clichéd, beyond repetitive and never was entertaining.
The response defined tepid. The crowd was dead for the opening segment.
Christ, was that bad. Painful. But they’re going to keep doing it.
No wrestling company should ever again do an evil boss angle. That should be an amendment to the Constitution. It’s lazy, and it’s so 15 years ago.
An issue was made of the tail being pulled off a little person wearing a bull costume. NOT FUNNY. The people who script wrestling think they’re funny. They’re not. That skit was nothing close to funny. Where’s the humor in a little person wrestling a full-sized man?
Now, when the guy backstage said, “I’m not a veterinarian”…THAT was funny. Just not funny enough to justify an otherwise awful segment.
The worst thing is, it won’t change. Unless Lemelson Capital somehow forces a management change, the same people will write and the same people will approve. None of these people have a clue. More people used to watch wrestling than currently watch wrestling. And that is all the people need to know.
WWE needs someone different in charge of creative. Not recycled. Different. Not Jim Ross or Paul Heyman. Different.
But you can’t be creative in that environment. Not with “the family” looking over your shoulder. Those who might be good wouldn’t even try.
My three recommendations are Chris Jericho, Lance Storm and William Regal. All three are grounded in wrestling’s fundamentals, but not limited by them.
But none would do it. Jericho even said so on Twitter Monday night.
We saw more hometown humiliation at Raw. They beat Paige in England. This week, Raw was in Tennessee, so Jerry Lawler was made to look feeble and impotent. What a bunch of pathetic scumbags.
Follow Mark on Twitter: @MarkMaddenX
bray wyattChris Jerichojim rosslance stormmark maddenpaigePaul HeymanStephanie McMahonthe authorityTriple Hwilliam regalWWEHave a news tip?Attended an event and want to send a live report?