A British Point of View: Nobody Touches My Lemon!

Martyn Nolan

wwe paybackWe're a week away from WWE Payback and it's time for WWE to adapt or perish as Evolution would say. This PPV doesn't do much to stand out from the efforts earlier this month with Extreme Rules. In fact, this PPV seems to be more extreme than Extreme Rules if that makes sense.

The show itself is resting on the rematches of John Cena vs Bray Wyatt and The Shield vs Evolution. Granted, there are Last Man Standing and no holds barred elimination stipulations to keep things varied but the lack of Daniel Bryan defending his WWE World Heavyweight Championship is quite a big void to fill.

So what's been happening this week? A 'bull' lost its tail, A Rose defended a lemon and everyone in the WWE is seemingly unable to grip a pen during a contract signing.

RAW started with Brad Maddox being fired in a segment that was very difficult to bolieve (pun intended) as it seems perfectly ok for the COO of a company to punch an employee and then fire them after they have been assaulted by another employee. I know we shouldn't look too deep in to these storylines but I can't help find it difficult that Maddox has been moved on to allow someone else to eventually take the RAW GM role. Maybe Hulk Hogan has no plans. I also disapproved of Jerry Lawler using the term "He's been future endeavored!"

The Wyatt family decided to take the war to the commentators this week when Bray Wyatt felt Jerry Lawler had been spreading lies about John Cena all these years. The only thing I could take out of this segment is that JBL has now lost his Wrestling God crown when he is taken off TV for 25 minutes after receiving a clothesline from Eric Rowan.

It isn't all grim though as I couldn't help but snigger when Rusev nearly tripped on the ring rope during his entrance, but don't worry America! Zack Ryder is here to save the… oh wait no sorry he was squashed quicker than Drew McIntyre to a little person.

At least WWE are being smart with the booking of Big E. What better way can they make someone who is currently stale? Make them represent their country against a foreign threat! of course!

Evolution was made to look more like a threat against The Shield this Sunday when they were booked to destroy the Rhodes brothers. One thing I've noticed about Batista recently, how old is he starting to look? I know the gentleman is now in his mid 40's but I never thought that he looked that age previously. That is, until he started growing a beard which is doing better than his actual hair. Orton has gone back to the old days and started to grow his hair back like the old Evolution days but sorry Dave, it isn't a good look.

That being said, Orton delivered a fantastic RKO on Cody Rhodes  which is always nice.

Daniel Bryan refused to surrender his WWE World Heavyweight Championship and Stephanie gave him the ultimatum to make the right decision this Sunday at WWE Payback. So, WWE have planted the seed in everyone's mind that something big will happen with Daniel Bryan this Sunday. No it won't be CM Punk before you ask.

This Sunday also see's Alicia Fox challenging the new WWE Divas Champion Paige. For once, the build to this match has been focussed with Alicia having her weekly strops and also picking up a victory over Paige. This was all well and good until this week when Emma managed to beat Alicia with a rollup. Never mind. Also, why is it when Alicia was ringing the bell at ringside, Michael Cole was holding his hands over his ears when he was wearing headphones on both ears which should be more than enough protection, maybe he had Vince shouting in his ears too loudly?

El Torito vs Hornswoggle has been announced for this Sunday in a Mask vs Hair match on the kick off. Now surely this means in WWE logic that Hornswoggle fancies a new hair style? The segment on RAW with El Torito losing his tail was one of those awkward moments which usually arise when you're trying to convince your friends that wrestling isn't as bad as they think, only for you to be left looking at the TV wondering why Vince is constantly looking to make your efforts as difficult as possible.

Adam Rose had his debut match this week and I'm not sure if anyone else noticed the new addition to the rosebuds who help him during his entrance. There was a gentleman who was wearing gladiator type armour with red trunks. This guy looked like a cross between Bray Wyatt and Eugene trying to do an impression of Russell Crowe. Either way, Rose didn't really get to do much in this match but he has a catchy song and good fan interaction which is always a good start.

Cesaro delivered a brutal beat down on Sheamus which is always welcome to those who want to see wrestling and fighting rather than someone defending a man dressed as a lemon or a man dressed as a bull having his material tail tore off. This will be a match on Sunday which I think won't disappoint, the same goes for Barrett vs RVD.

Then we got the closing segment which was the contract signing between The Shield and Evolution. This segment was quite memorable for the needless destruction of office chairs (I'm only frustrated by this as I could have made use of one of those!) and the lack of coordination when it comes to handling pens. Evolution got the upper hand in this altercation (not in the pen handling department though) which means Shield should get the result this Sunday. However, the match itself should be one to watch.

Overall, this Sunday's Payback looks similar to the last big show; a PPV which won't cause too many waves but should provide a good solid wrestling show. I'm looking forward to seeing what will happen, are you?

You can contact me on Twitter @BeansOnToastUK or you can email me at beansontoastuk@msn.com.

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