Stars in Progress: Lesnar/Cena Make Better Lovers Than Fighters, Bo Dallas is My Champion; The Claire Lynch Rant You’ve Been Waiting For

Mike Killam

Bo DallasSorry for the delay in writing this column. I’ve been playing the new WWE SuperCard game for iPad, and while I’m not quite sure it’s a “good game” yet, it’s ridiculously addictive. My new favorite thing to do is use all the cards I don’t want, and feed them to Bo Dallas to make him stronger. I even combined two identical Bo Dallas cards to make what I’m calling Super Bo. My “common” Bo card is now stronger than most people’s “uncommon” or even “rare” versions. My Bo Dallas tag team – dubbed “DouBoTeam” – legitimately hasn’t been beaten yet. No joke, I beat Hulk Hogan in a charisma battle just five minutes ago, and decided I couldn’t humiliate anyone more than in that moment, so it was probably time to take a break and write this weekly editorial.

Needless to say, Bo Dallas takes a STEP UP this week in the good ole’ Stars in Progress column. He may not have been on television, but he sure as hell aided in my quest to troll everyone playing WWE’s new card-based mobile game. 

SIDE-STEP: Brock Lesnar / John Cena

I thought the Raw in-ring segments for both Lesnar/Heyman and John Cena were very good this week. Cena especially did a great job selling me on their SummerSlam match. That being said, for a match that’s supposed to be the “most brutal fight in WWE history,” all they’ve done so far is talk. There was more violence, more blood shed in their 2012 feud. 

That makes me think Lesnar is all but confirmed to win the title on Sunday. See, if Cena had been beaten down to a bloody pulp for the last 4 weeks, much like he had in 2012, he would have a mountain to climb at the PPV. The story would be him conquering the Beast Incarnate and overcoming the odds, as per usual. This time it’s the WWE Champion against “The One” – even playing field, as far as I’m concerned, and there’s much less of a David vs. Goliath vibe this time around. If John goes over Brock Lesnar at SummerSlam, not only will Lesnar have lost twice to the same guy in two years, but he’ll look like a huge chump that talks the talk, but can’t get the job done. That’s never been his M.O., and if WWE wants to groom Roman Reigns into a top babyface, I think the only real decision they can make is to drop the title on Sunday. 

The program continued to be good this week on Raw, and the follow-up video packages on Main Event were the same high-quality hype as usual. But a noticeable lack of physicality in a match and PPV that desperately needs it means they neither stepped up, nor down this week.

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