Heck in a Cell

Mark Madden

wwe hell in a cellThat’s what WWE should call it: Heck In A Cell. Because it’s diluted. Bland.

What match goes on last: Cena-Orton, or Rollins-Ambrose? Performers in the former match have that “main event” mystique. Used to, anyway. But a performer in the latter match beat a performer in the former match to get a spot in the latter match. So, as dictated by booking, the latter match is the bigger. The “main event.”

But no one was allowed to say anyone “lost” the Cena-Ambrose match. Which means no one really “won” it, either.

WWE’s booking is a zero-sum game. Everyone’s record is at or near .500. A lot of people are losing a lot of matches. That’s what WWE wants. So own it.

In sports, teams and people lose. John Cena lost to Dean Ambrose. That’s why Ambrose is in what should be the “main event.”

Except no one gives a flying fornication about either match. It’s just another episode of Sunday Night Raw.

Cena-Orton figures to be the “main event” at Heck In A Cell. WWE didn’t even trust Seth Rollins or Ambrose to sell their own match. Mick Foley did it for them. Did a great job, too. Foley was TALKING. Minimal scripting. Excellent.

When WWE sees Foley cut that promo, how can they not understand that performers can’t find their own voice when they’re reciting a script? Give ‘em bullet points and back off. Occasionally, a promo would fall flat. But good talkers would find their upside. Foley found his. Foley’s promos made him.

The segment with Ambrose and the doll wasn’t funny. It wasn’t sociopathic. It was just stupid. More dilution of Ambrose’s character. They want the marks to think Ambrose is crazy. But he’s been booked to be silly.

Quality Control

wwe hell in a cellIt was a legit honor to guest on Jim Ross’ podcast. Great content, and very natural. A wrestling legend talking with somebody who was pretty smart despite being on the periphery. That’s how I see it, anyway. Thanks, J.R.

I spoke on the podcast about wrestling’s need for a quality control editor. That generated a lot of reaction. Weird, because I’ve said it/written about it many times before. But, to recap:

WWE (or TNA, or ROH, etc.) should put someone in charge of quality control. He looks at every script for TV/PPV, proofreading for gaps in continuity or logic. If the quality control editor spots something that doesn’t make sense and can accurately note why, the script is revised. No debate. Debate is the enemy of logic. It’s either logical, or isn’t.

Wrestling is supposed to make sense. If you feel this is “entertainment,” logic is even more important. Ross didn’t bang Rachel one week, then Phoebe the next.  WWE wants to “tell stories.” Fine. Stories that don’t make sense, don’t sell.

For example, if it was so important for Cena to beat Ambrose to get to Heck In A Cell against Rollins, why did he basically just let Ambrose win the match, indulging a skirmish with Kane instead? Why wasn’t Cena mad after?

The quality control editor wouldn’t necessarily have creative input. But he would be encouraged to say, “Here’s how you can make this logical. Here’s how you can make this better. Here’s how you can get to where you want to go.”

***t, who cares? 500 words, done. Quality control that, WrestleZone.

Follow Mark Madden on Twitter: @MarkMaddenX

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