WWE RAW Results (7/12) – Cena vs Nexus, Edge vs Orton

Ted DiBiase comes out in a suit with Maryse on one arm, and the Million Dollar Championship in the other. Ted introduces themselves as the Million Dollar Couple, the most powerful couple in the WWE. He says the couple is himself and… the MITB briefcase… and tells it is OK because when he wins he will shower Maryse with gifts and for him… well he gets interrupted by John Morrison.  

Morrison says Ted doesn’t have to shower her with gifts because everyone knows the French don’t shower. Maryse gets angry and yells back in French, and Morrison offers to translate. He says she said the fans have hippopotamus breath and smells like dueling rhinoceri in the Serengeti plains, and that she looks like a duckbilled sea faring dung chewing African platypus. He says don’t shoot the messenger, and avoids getting slapped by Maryse, but gets kicked in the ribs by Ted instead. Ted tries going for Dream Street but Morrison hits a flash kick and goes up top for Starship Pain. Maryse pulls Ted out of the way and Morrison lands on his feet, and stands on the turnbuckle while Maryse yells at him while she heads up the ramp with DiBiase.

Next we get a Brady Bunch parody starring Santino and some of the lower card guys. They do a song talking about him feuding with Regal and how they will have teams togther. Santino is shown with Kozlov, Khali and Goldust, and Regal has Zack Ryder, Primo and Doink the Clown. Florence Henderson is the middle square and they cut to her in the backstage area. She hands a pie to Santino and he thanks her, then says how he is sick of it being about Regal, Regal, Regal. She asks if his team is ready and he says they are, but Regal is more annoying than cousin Oliver, and more arrogant than her son Rickey. (Rickey Henderson, get it?) She laughs and a laugh track plays, and then Regal walks in and says this is ridiculous, and asks if the GM is Gilligan. No one laughs, and he says it was funnier than Rickey, but Florence tells him he doesn’t get a laugh because he is not funny.

He tells her if he wants advice on how to raise six annoying brats, he’ll ask her, but if he wants to learn something useful, he’ll ask the Partridge Family. Florence slaps Regal and tells him not to disrespect Carol Brady or the Brady Bunch, and tells him to get out. Santino tries to kiss Florence goodbye, and she at first declines, but then says OK. He puckers up and then she rethinks it and stops him and says see you later, and leaves while Santino watches her leave and looks smitten.  

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