Credit: Robbie & www.ProWrestling.net
After the Superstars taping, they went to the WWE open and then a highlight package of Kane promising vengeance from last week and of the battle royal. They teased a steel cage tag match with Jack Swagger and CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio and Big Show, but there is no cage hanging so we’ll see.
They showed graphics for Rey Mysterio vs Jack Swagger and CM Punk vs The Big Show in singles matches. That beats the heck out of a tag match as far as I’m concerned. Apparently they are opening with Swagger vs Rey, awesome. Mysterio came out to a massive ovation, easily the loudest of the night. He cut a promo mid ring about getting a second chance and overcoming the odds.
Rey said when he won the World title that it would belong to us (how sweet). Swagger interrupted and couldn’t even speak because the crowd was booing him so loudly. A big "Swagger sucks" chant started but Jack disagreed. He mocked Rey’s Mexican heritage and Rey in turn mocked his lisp of course. Rey asked Swagger, "Do you know what it will take for me to take your world title?" Swagger deadpanned it and said "a miracle." Hilarious! Rey then said it would just take one 619 but Punk’s music interrupted to a chorus of boos.
CM Punk walked to the ring wearing his mask and was accompanied by the S.E.S. He said like great leaders before him such as Malcom X and JFK, he was the victim of an assassination attempt from 36 armed assailants. He said for reasons unknown he and his Society were viciously attacked and a lesser man wouldn’t be here. He vowed to become a four-time champion.
Rey challenged him to be a man and remove his mask and show the world his bald head. Punk denied being bald and argued with Mysterio calling him a hypocrite for not removing his mask. Big Show’s music then interrupted. He asked why people are acting like being bald is such a bad thing. He said he respected Rey and made a lame joke about his butt needing two area codes. Kane then appeared on the big screen and the arena went red.
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Kane vowed vengeance again and threatened all four men in the ring that if they were responsible he would bring the wrath of hell or something like that. I know everybody doesn’t like long promo segments, but I thought it was very good except for The Big Show. There is an interesting dynamic between all four guys.
After a break Big Show and Punk left the ring so Swagger and Rey could have their match.
1. Rey Mysterio beat Jack Swagger in a non-title match. Rey almost won two minutes in with a 619, but Swagger got his foot on the rope at the last second. There were dueling "Let’s go Swagger" and "Let’s go Rey" chants. They wrestled for about 12 minutes in a very competitive match. Rey reversed Swaggers finisher and hit two consecutive 619′s for the win. Excellent match. Afterward, Swagger beat the crap out of Rey until Kane came to the ring and chokeslammed him to the depths of hell. He then decided Rey deserved it too and gave him one as well.
After Rey and Jack left the ring Layla and Michelle McTaker…err McCool came out with Kaval to zero reaction. They cut an annoying promo about giving us all makeovers or something. Anyway, Kaval looked annoyed by them too. Tiffany’s terrible music hit and she came to the ring with Kelly Kelly.
2. Layla (w/Michelle McCool, Kaval) defeated Tiffany (w/Kelly Kelly). Layla won with a neckbreaker. Typical three-minute Divas match.
After a tribute to the troops video, a USA chant broke out and then Christian’s music hit to a nice pop. After Christian was in the ring, "excuse me" rang out over the speaker system and Vickie Guerrero came out to nuclear heat. I don’t personally like her character but there is no denying that she gets booed louder than any other WWE performer. She introduced her new boy toy Dolph Ziggler.
3. Christian beat Dolph Ziggler. They had a nice little five minute match. They both reversed each other’s finishers and Christian hit a sunset flip for the win. After the match, Vance Archer and Curt Hawkins beat Christian down. Ziggler then decided Christian needed a nap and put him to sleep. Vickie got in the ring and celebrated to boos from the crowd. I guess they solved the issue of Ziggler not getting enough heat. Thank God there was no make out session.
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Backstage, Kane placed dead flowers on a coffin and cut a creepy promo about death and vengeance. Didn’t he bury Undertaker alive at one point?
Drew McIntyre came out in street clothes for a promo. He demanded that Teddy Long come to the ring. He obliged and joined Drew mid-ring. Teddy kept trying to talk and Drew kept interrupting him and forcing him to watch clips of Matt Hardy assaulting him. He said Matt Hardy was now suspended from all WWE programming per Vincent Kennedy McMahon.
Drew told Teddy he warned him for the last time. He told Teddy to look at him so he could see the look on his face when he made this announcement. "Teddy Long…" Then Kofi Kingston’s music hit. Teddy bailed from the ring and Kofi told Drew that he and the entire WWE Universe, including the popcorn guy, was sick of him. Kofi said he needed to start earning respect instead of whining for it. Kofi attacked Drew and left him lying.
Backstage, Drew McIntyre told Teddy Long that next week it will be the two of them in a one on one match per Vince McMahon. If Teddy doesn’t compete then he will be fired.
4. Big Show beat C.M. Punk (w/Luke Gallows, Serena) by an apparent DQ. Big Show and CM Punk then made entrances for their match. They did some comedy spots early on with Punk showing fear of Big Show. He went to the top rope but thought twice about it and bailed to ringside, funny stuff. Big Show finally got Punk in the ring by palming his head and pulling him up.
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The crowd chanted "take it off" regarding Punk’s mask. The Big Show was going to oblige, but Gallows, Serena, and the masked man jumped him. They beat him down until Kane hit the ring again. He took out the whole S.E.S and then pulled off a weak choke slam on the Big Show to end the taping.
Afterwards the ring crew set up a cage so I guess we are getting the Dark Match main event after all. The Big Show actually helped the ring guys set up the cage which was pretty funny.
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