WWE RAW results from August 24, 2009!
WWE RAW Results — PAGE ONE
RAW Opener: Randy Orton, Legacy, Brett DiBiase
RAW opens with video highlights of the Randy Orton vs. John Cena finish at SummerSlam, including Brett DiBiase’s run-in. From there we have a close-up of Randy Orton live. He says last night he won and retained his title but someone ran in. He said it wasn’t just some fan, was it though. Ted DiBiase shows up and says it was his brother – Brett. Brett DiBiase shows up. Orton says Brett shouldn’t have done that last night. He apologizes. Cody Rhodes shows up and says Orton would have won anyways.
-Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole welcome us to RAW live in Las Vegas. They promote Floyd Mayweather Jr. guest-hosting the show tonight.
Vince McMahon w/ Announcements, D-X
Lilian Garcia gets on the microphone and introduces us to the chairman of World Wrestling Entertainment – Vince McMahon! Out comes McMahon with his typical strut. McMahon gets in the ring and says Floyd "Money" Mayweather is tonight’s host. The crowd boo’s. He talks about the controversy in last night’s Cena-Orton match. He says despite the controversy, Orton is still our WWE champion. McMahon says he’ll have the opportunity to clear up that controversy in a rematch with Orton in approximately three weeks on a PPV. The crowd boo’s. He says you never know what will happen tonight, "take it easy." He talks about the PPV – Breaking Point, where all matches will be under submission-match rules. He says Orton-Cena will be somewhat of the ultimate submission match – as it will be an "I Quit" match. He says if anyone interferes in the match-up on behalf of Orton, Orton will immediately be stripped of the title. He says thank you very much and goodnight. D-X music hits before he can leave. Vince again tries to leave but HHH and HBK won’t let him. HHH says he wants to apologize for not coming out again in a tank. He says with the economy the way it is, they couldn’t afford to bring the tank to Vegas. He says with that being said – he doesn’t like "good-guy" Vince McMahon. He says it’s creepy. He says it’s like Michael Vick at a PETA convention. HBK barks. HHH says there’s got to be a reason he’s in such a good mood. Vince says he thinks he knows where this is going. HBK says wait a minute – today’s August 24th, isn’t it? "I think somebody’s got a birthday!" HHH says hold on a second. He wants to guess who it is. Dave Chapelle? HBK says no – someone a lot whiter and a lot crazier. HHH says oh that’s right, it’s Vincent Kennedy McMahon’s 84th birthday. The crowd starts a loud "eighty-four" chant. HHH says he made a mistake, it’s his 74th birthday. The crowd chants "seventy-four." HHH says he was wrong again, he’s actually 70 and….Vince McMahon yells in his face "I’m 64!" HHH laughs and says you admit that on live TV?! Vince asks D-X to please leave. HHH asks why would they leave. He says Vince doesn’t have many birthdays left – especially in Vegas. HBK says if you don’t want to have a happy birthday, he’s going to respect that. He said he and Vince have had a lot of differences in their day. He calls Vince a pioneer. HHH says he was actually a pioneer with a wagon, etc. HBK says no, he’s serious. He says Vince is a genius. He says this genius is the reason we watch WWE television. HBK introduces a special tribute video package. A video with corny, sappy music airs showing Vince and his accomplishments. It’s interupted a minute in with his infamous dance/song "Stand Back" from the 1980s. Now it’s interupted again by D-X and all the embarassing moments of Vince’s career. We return live and Vince looks pissed. He says he’s not going to forget about this. HHH says at your age you probably will forget. HHH says you won’t forget this and out comes a giant birthday cake. D-X and the crowd sing happy birthday to Vince. HHH interupts the song and says "I’m not feeling it. Something’s not right." HHH tells HBK that this is Vegas and anybody can have a regular cake but in Vegas things are done differently. HBK says you can’t have a birthday in Vegas without show girls. Out come some of Vegas’ finest with the feathers, etc. Each girl enters the ring and gives Vince a kiss. Vince asks how long this is going to go on. Good question Vince. HHH says Vegas is show girls but it’s also the place for Cirque Di Sole’ and out comes a bunch of weird stuff from Vegas shows. Vince comments that the guys masks are "really gay." The performers bounce around and Vince jokingly says this is what every man wants on his birthday. HHH and HBK try and mimmick the guys’ moves and can’t. Vince asks if this is over yet. HBK says you can’t have a birthday in Vegas without the king of rock and roll – Elvis. Out comes an Elvis impersonator. Elvis asks Vince to put on some shades. D-X puts the glasses on Vince. He asks him to do an Elvis dance. Vince tries. Elvis leads everyone into a "happy birthday" sing along. HHH says his cake isn’t any ordinary cake. Big Dick Johnson pops out of the cake in a thong with his big fat ass hanging out. He comes in the ring eating some of the cake and dancing all over Vince. Vince throws him out of the ring. He gets mad and says he’s had enough of this birthday crap. D-X says ok but one more thing. He says this is private though. They ask all the Vegas people in the ring to leave. Vince is pointing to his watch. This is going incredibly long. HHH and HBK said they pooled their money together and they bought one more present for him. They tell him exactly where to stand in the ring. Legacy hit the ring out of nowhere and attack D-X. They knock HBK out of the ring and double-team HHH. HBK comes back in with a chair and Legacy runs off. Randy Orton comes down the aisle now to join Legacy. HHH says he guesses the Legacy girls didn’t get enough last night. HHH says because Floyd Mayweather isn’t here yet, he’s going to make a match tonight. Tonight it will be Randy Orton & Legacy vs. D-Generation X and their partner – Vincent Kennedy McMahon. Vince has a smirk on his face. He gleefully says – and the match is no disqualification. He says he always wanted to do this part. Vince says "if you’re not down with that, we’ve got two words for ya…" and the crowd of course replies "suck it."
-Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole says Mayweather still hasn’t arrived yet as we go to commercial. A Floyd Mayweather video package airs leading us into the commercial.
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