Nick’s 3/2 Raw Review: “Triple H Assassinates a Cerebrum”

WWE Monday Night Raw Results From Boston – 3/2/09

We kick things off tonight with Jerry Lawler in the ring, and he informs us that Vickie Guerrero has signed a huge main event for tonight! Edge will defend the World Heavyweight Championship against John Cena!

Roddy Piper’s music then hits, and Lillian Garcia introduces us to a Piper’s Pit segment with our host….Chris Jericho. Jericho comes out and says that his special guest tonight is Jimmy Snuka. Snuka comes out, and after rolling a video package of career highlights including the famous “coconut incident,” Jericho begins insulting Snuka and repeating the mantra he’s been speaking for the past few weeks. He says Snuka is the poster boy of “The Wrestler” as he is the washed up has-been that Mickey Rourke is playing in the film. He then pulls out a paper bag and begins throwing bananas and a pineapple at Snuka asking him if he wants to re-live the past. This leads to Jericho taking out a coconut, but Snuka grabs it and Jericho flees the Piper’s Pit set and heads to the back. Jericho sneak attacks Snuka, however, by smashing him with the Piper’s Pit set, and then continues beating him with his belt. This takes us out to our first commercial break.

Nick’s Note: I thought this was a good opening segment, however like I said last night on VOW, I think the routine of these Jericho segments is getting a bit stale. I feel like creative is using the same model for all of these segments where Jericho berates a legend, the legend counters with a response, then Jericho attacks the legend to end the bit. Although the promo work in these segments is usually very good, I feel like WWE needs to freshen up the routine they have going here before this angle begins to lose some steam. Hopefully within the next week or so we will have a clearer idea of where this is going and how it will play out at Wrestlemania.

Back from break, and after a recap of what just happened, it’s time for our first match of the evening, Rey Mysterio vs Kane vs Mike Knox in a triple threat match with the winner earning a spot  in the Money in the Bank Ladder Match at Wrestlemania. The action starts off with Rey hitting a baseball slide on Knox who was on the outside, he then goes for a top rope move but Kane counters, then Rey battles out with punches. Knox is back in, he clocks Rey with a right, then throws him out of the ring and Rey hits hard. Knox and Kane are now battling in the ring, and both hit each other with a big boot which sends both guys down as we head to a commercial break.

Back from break and Knox has Rey in a submission hold while Kane is incapacitated on the outside. Knox whips Rey into the ropes but Kane trips Rey from outside, then pulls him out of the ring and again Rey hits hard. Kane gets back in the ring and him and Knox battle it out. Rey eventually makes it back in the ring and the three guys exchange offensive maneuvers on each other. The end saw Mike Knox hit his finisher on Rey which knocked him out, and then Kane hit Knox with a chokeslam and pinned him for the victory.

Winner: Kane

Nick’s Note: Although this was a very good match, I’m not too sure I wanted to see Kane go over here. If anything, Mike Knox would have benefited from the win here in terms of his future on Raw, and Rey would have been a better choice stylistically as Money in the Bank is a Ladder Match afterall. I suppose with WWE pushing Kane’s See No Evil movie premiere on Sci-Fi tonight and his appearance on ECW to coincide with it, they feel they needed to put Kane over last night, but honestly I am not too sure how much Kane can add to the ladder match and I certainly don’t see him having the slightest chance of winning it.

Before heading to our next commercial, the announce team hypes the main event for the evening as well as HBK vs Vladimir Kozlov.

Back from break and Todd Grisham is in the back with Shawn Michaels. Grish asks HBK how he feels about having to face Kozlov tonight considering he just beat The Undertaker this past Friday night. HBK says that although Kozlov may have beaten The Undertaker tonight he is facing Mr. Wrestlemania Shawn Michaels. He goes on to say that tonight he will end Kozlov’s unbeaten streak and then he will go on to Wrestlemania to beat The Undertaker’s streak.

Nick’s Note: This was a really good interview. I like that HBK’s cockiness has come back and he’s once again “found his smile.” Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed his work during the JBL angle, as it was a refreshing departure from his usual character, but it’s nice to see the energetic, brash Showstopper back on Raw.

Back to ringside and Mickie James’ music hits, she makes her way to the ring and then her partner Kelly Kelly is announced. We then head to a commercial break.

Back from break and in tag team action we have Kelly Kelly and Mickie James vs Beth Phoenix and Jillian Hall. The action starts off with Kelly and Beth and the offense is back and forth from both ladies until Beth hits Kelly hard with a powerbomb into the middle corner turnbuckle. She tags in Jillian who comes in and works over Kelly before Kelly is able to hit a sudden sunset flip into a pin for the quick win. The entire time Maryse and Melina were at ringside doing commentary along with Lawler and Cole, and the post match saw Rosa Mendes attack Kelly in the ring. Beth then attacked Mickie James and Melina attempted to get in the ring to help Kelly and Mickie but Maryse tripped her sending Melina face first into the ring apron. Maryse then dropped Melina with a hard DDT on the outside as all of the other Divas were exiting up the ramp.

Winners: Mickie James and Kelly Kelly

Nick’s Note: This match didn’t do much for me. It seemed like the idea here was to put more focus on Melina and Maryse on commentary than the actual match itself. Now had the two Divas been any good on commentary than maybe I wouldn’t have minded so much, but the work Melina and Maryse did on the mic was just awful. Maryse can barely speak and Melina didn’t offer much to help the situation. I’m not sure what the entire point of this segment was, whether it was to introduce some type of Melina and Maryse program or just a one-off thing on Raw, but it seemed like a meaningless bit that was made worse by terrible commentary from the two champions.

Randy Orton’s music then hits and he makes his way to the ring as Cole informs us that it’s time for Orton to announce who he is going to face at Wrestlemania. We then head to a commercial break.

Back from break and Orton is in the ring with Legacy and he is surrounded by his legal team and police officers. Orton tells us that he has made his decision, and that he is going to challenge the winner of the main event tonight at Wrestlemania. He then explains that he will not be challenging Triple H because he is pressing charges against him for the assault with the slegehammer last week on Raw. This prompts Triple H to come out, and he is carrying another sledgehammer with him. HHH grabs a mic and says that although Orton may have IED, Hunter is in complete control of his emotions. He then walks to the ring and the security guards move to stop him. HHH then drops the hammer and gets in the ring. He tells Orton that he has to face him at Wrestlemania because Orton still hasn’t avenged what HHH did to him when Evolution turned on him years ago. He says that deep down Orton is afraid of HHH and knows he doesn’t have what it takes to beat him. As security then goes to escort HHH out of the ring, Orton tells them to stop and says he is changing his mind. He will face HHH at Wrestlemania. But under one condition; that neither man is allowed to touch the other between now and the PPV. HHH agrees and then leaves the ring. Orton then stops him and says he has one other thing to say. He tells HHH that it felt good punting Vince, it felt great punting Shane, but that it felt the best when he gave Stephanie the RKO. HHH then hit the ring and told Orton that the last time they wrestled one-on-one he broke his collarbone, but at Wrestlemania, he’s going to break his neck. We then head to commercial break.

Nick’s Note: Despite a lot of criticism I have been reading of this angle within the internet wrestling community, I thought both Triple H and Randy Orton’s performances in this segment were fantastic. I will admit I don’t like the “pressing charges” angle as it is both overdone and doesn’t make much sense in the world of pro wrestling, however I thought the meat of this segment was pulled off quite well. Triple H’s performance was great here and very true to his character as he showed why he is called the Cerebral Assassin. He wants to fight Orton. But he knows Orton is too afraid of him, so he has to psyche Orton out to get him to challenge him at Wrestlemania and that’s exactly what Trips did. He played on Orton’s insecurities to get what he wanted, which ultimately was a match him at Mania. I’ve read complaints that Triple H shouldn’t have said “I’m not a good person” as he is playing the face in the angle. Are we supposed to believe that people have forgotten that Triple H was once the top heel in the business? Are we also supposed to believe that since HHH is a face now that his character should be indicative of someone who should be nominated for Sainthood? This is a guy that walks to the ring with a sledgehammer, and more importantly has created a character that doesn’t deny the past simply because he’s now playing a “good guy.”

Back from break and it’s now time for Shawn Michaels vs Vladimir Kozlov. The action starts off with HBK hitting some hard offense to try to knock the much bigger Kozlov down. He hits a couple right hands, then hits the ropes followed by a chopblock to Kozlov’s left leg. HBK follows that with a low dropkick then attempts a figure four leg lock. Kozlov reverses the hold immediately and HBK rolls out of the ring to regroup as we head to commercial break.

Back from break and Kozlov is in control of the match. He is hitting HBK in the corner with rights and left then follows them with Headbutts to HBK’s back while he’s hung up on the top rope. He then brings Michaels out to the center of the ring and hits a hard backbreaker. He follows that up with a submission hold until HBK is able to battle back with several chops and some right hands. HBK then goes for the flying forearm however Kozlov reverses it with a huge headbutt battering ram. He then picks HBK up and walks him to the corner and sets him up on the top turnbuckle. He attempts a superplex but HBK pushes him off and he lands in the center of the ring. HBK then hits the picture perfect elbow drop, tunes the band, and hits sweet chin music for the 1,2,3.

Winner: Shawn Michaels

Nick’s Note: Well, this was the best Kozlov could do. I didn’t think it was horrible, but even Mr. Wrestlemania couldn’t get an above average match out of The Russian and WWE needs to spend more time developing this guy’s in-ring game. I think Kozlov has a great look. He appears to be a legitimate tough guy and his shoot style appearance gives him a nice edge. But his ring work is slow and a bit sloppy, and it’s in this area that he needs to improve or the audience will never buy him as the top guy WWE wants him to be.

After the match, The Undertaker’s music hits, and The Dead Man makes his way out to the entrance ramp. He stares down HBK, and finally does his patented knife across the throat signal as HBK watches from the ring.

Nick’s Note: HBK and ‘Taker didn’t exchange a single word. But their eyes said, “Yep, it’s on. It’s gonna be at Wrestlemania, and it’s gonna be a classic.” Well done.

After the next commercial break it is announced that the next Hall of Fame inductee will be “Cowboy” Bill Watts and he will be inducted by Jim Ross.

We then head to the back where Todd Grisham is standing with Edge, and Grish begins by asking Edge if he thinks it’s a bit convenient for him that the rematch between him and John Cena is happening just days after Big Show left Cena unconscious in the middle of the ring on Smackdown. Edge says he doesn’t like Grish’s tone and that the match tonight has nothing to do with the beating Cena got from Big Show. Edge says that he wanted to face Cena in Boston tonight because it’s his hometown, and he wants all of Cena’s family to watch him get beat. He says he is the champion now and that after tonight he will be telling John Cena that he is still the champion.

Nick’s Note: Edge said, “I MapQuested it myself.” The guy is gold, and this promo was just another example. Good to see a glimpse of that old-school Edge humor, I’ve missed it.

Back from break and it’s now time for our main event of the night, John Cena vs Edge for the World Heavyweight Title. The two lock up in the center of the ring and Edge backs Cena into the corner. He then snap mares Cena to the mat and follows up with a headlock. Cena makes it to his feet and Edge whips him into the ropes. Cena holds on, Edge rushes Cena, but Cena moves out of the way and sends Edge over the top rope to the outside as we head to commercial break.

Back from break and Edge is in control with hard kicks to the neck and head of John Cena. Cena is able to counter back with some right hands, but Edge ends up backing Cena up into the corner again. Edge knocks Cena down and he rolls out to the middle of the ring as Edge climbs the top rope. Cena approaches him and climbs up as well and attempts an Attitude Adjustment from the top. Edge reverses it and knocks Cena off the turnbuckle and he hits the floor hard. Cena beats the ref’s count and is back in the ring by 9 and Edge goes back to work on Cena. Cena then kicks Edge and hits a face plant. He goes for the 5 Knuckle Shuffle but Edge moves and locks the Sharpshooter on Cena. Cena makes it to the ropes and Edge breaks the hold, then Cena is able to lock the STF on Edge. Edge also makes it to the ropes and Cena breaks the hold, and by the time Cena is back up Edge hits the spear out of nowhere. He goes for the cover and only gets 2. Cena then drops Edge with the spin out suplex and this time hits the 5 Knuckle Shuffle. He goes for the Adjustment again but again Edge slides out and makes it to the ring apron where he grabs the title belt. As Cena attempts the Adjustment one final time Edge hits him with the belt and the ref calls for the bell.

Winner via DQ: John Cena

Nick’s Note: This was a good main event. Not the best of the matches these two have had, but it really picked up in intensity towards the end. I like that Grisham brought up in the pre-match interview how it seemed a bit coincidental that Edge was facing Cena so sooon after he was laid out by Big Show, so that begs the question, why wasn’t Cena selling any type of injury? I like Cena, but I’ve always thought one of his major weaknesses has been selling during a match. I don’t mean selling each individual move, but I mean selling wear and tear and fatigue throughout a match. When Edge finishes a match, he looks legitimately beat up, but Cena can be down on the outside for a 9 count, barely get back in, then suddenly he’s up and doing the 5 Knuckle Shuffle as if he just finished watching  TV for 2 hours. Obviously this match was intended to blow-off Cena’s rematch and set something up for Wrestlemania that doesn’t include Cena vs Edge in a singles match, however I thought the pay-off to this main event could have been a bit more creative.

Vickie then appears at the entrance ramp and announces that the new number one contender for the World Heavyweight Title at Wrestlemania is The Big Show. Edge looks surprised as Raw goes off the air.

Nick’s Final Note: Overall I thought this was a good show. A bit of a step down from recent Raw broadcasts but it began to setup Wrestlemania with a nice looking framework and delivered a few solid matches. I’m not worried about the announcement of Big Show as the number one contender because I don’t forsee a one-on-one match between him and Edge as the final game plan for Mania. Somehow Cena will work his way into the mix and a Triple Threat Match featuring all three wrestlers would be a good idea to me and could make for a very entertaining bout.

Thanks for reading and feel free to send in any of your thoughts by emailing me at VOWNick@gmail.com.

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