We kick things off with Lillian Garcia introducing us to Smackdown’s General Manager Vickie Guerrero. She makes her way to the entrance ramp and then introduces us to the new World Heavyweight Champion Edge. Edge comes out and joins Vickie and the two make their way to ring side.
They get into the ring and Edge poses a bit more and looks very satisfied with himself. He asks the crowd if they want to know what the "R’ in rated R superstar means. He says it stands for Remarkable. Even better, resplendit. Or…really really smart. Edge says that he could have just given up after losing the WWE championship, but that’s something that the crowd would do. He compared them to fat turtles. But that’s not Edge. For Edge, failure is not an option. Edge says the fans were calling him a loser, but they were wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong., He then goes to the crowd and calls them all wrong. He goes up to a little kid and says that when he grows up, he’s gonna be WRONG! Last night, Edge competed in 2 Elimination Chamber matches. He is a living miracle. And then he compared himself to Jesus, by saying that Jesus turned water into wine, but he turned the WWE Championship into the World Championship. Then Vickie gets the Mic to a chorus of boos. She explains that because Stephanie McMahon went with Shane to the hospital, she became the highest ranking official. She explains that because Kofi Kingston was unable to compete, she chose someone that was deserving- Edge. She says that she spoke with the board of directors and can now confirm that Edge is the new World Heavyweight Champion. The crowd doesn’t like this, which causes Vickie to say "EXCUSE ME!" We may not like it but we have to accept it. Annnnd, then they make out.
Luckily, John Cena’s music hits and he comes out with a smile on his face. John thanks the fans for the response and then congratulates Edge. He says nobody thinks Edge could do it, but he did it. He says he’s not going to whine about what happened. He says Edge got in the match and won it fair and square. He introduces Edge as the new World Heavyweight Champion. Cena says the "R" stands for really lucky, "right place right time." But his favorite is "Rematch." Edge tells Cena to hold his horses. He says he competed in 2 Elimination Chamber matches. He says he’s not going to compete tonight. He may not compete for a week. Or a month. If we want to see Edge and his wife, they’ll be on Smackdown. Cena says Edge is right. He says if Edge wants to go to Smackdown, tell Festus and Funaki hello for him. He also tells Edge and Vickie to go do whatever it is they do. He then says that Edge is officially the World Heavyweight Champion, and officially, he gets a rematch. Edge remembers Cena’s wit and then asks him to remember when when Edge beat him for the WWE Championship, and when he went into the Cena home and slapped is father. But Edge says Cena can talk all he wants, but the champ is here. Cena grabs him by the collar and says that if he tries to hide, he’ll find him. If he tries to run, he’ll catch him. They’re going to fight, and Cena is going to hurt Edge. Cena’s music hits as Edge very tentatively exits the ring. Michael Cole then stated what exactly happened at No Way Out.
Shane Mcmahon is standing by and says that he is going to go out to the ring and he wants Orton to meet him there. He says they’re going to settle things in an unsanctioned fight.
Back from Break, CM Punk comes to the ring and meets Cryme Time. Regal then makes his way to the ring, and he’s teaming with Priceless.
CM Punk and Cryme Tyme VS William Regal and Priceless
Cody Rhodes starts things off against CM Punk. Punk with an arm lock, Cody reverses it into a hammerlock and then slaps Punk. Punk slaps him back and hits a GTS on Rhodes. Regal hits Punk before he can make a pin.
We’re back from break and Ted Dibiase is in control of Punk. He tags in Regal who delivers some hard shots to the head. He goes for the pin but Punk gets out. Regal puts Punk in a chin lock but it’s reversed into a kick. Regal retaliates and a knee and then tags in Cody Rhodes. Rhodes mounts Punk and delivers some shots to the head followed by a pin. Punk kicks out and then gets bodyslammed. Cody continues to work over Punk and then tags in Dibiase. Dibiase delivers some knees to punk and goes for a cover. Punk kicks out at two. Ted tags Cody who proceeds to kick punk. CM Punk hits an enziguri out of nowhere. He goes for the tag to JTG. JTG delivers some dropkicks to Ted and goes for a shot on Regal. He goes for a pin. He stops Cody before he can break up the pin, and then gets distracted which allows Ted Dibiase to hit the Dream Street for the pin.
Winners: William Regal and Priceless
We cut to Stephanie lecturing Shane about challenging Orton. She tells Shane to wait a week to recover. Shane says the fight is going to happen tonight whether Orton wants it to or not.
Back from break and Chris Jericho is in the ring wearing a nice suit and a scowl. His hair looks nice though. He says the Academy Awards are this sunday. He implores the Academy not to award Mickey Rourke an…uh…award. He says if Rourke wins that would send a message to all the washed up losers that are holding onto this business waiting for success. Jericho says this won’t happen. He says he knows why we cheer legends. It’s because they’re just like us. Weak, shallow, insecure human beings that need to be shut down for their own good. He says we can boo him., but he’s an honest man. He says the truth hurts. He is then interrupted by Rowdy Roddy Piper.
Piper tell Jericho he’s going to shoot with him. Piper says he’s watched jericho his entire character. He liked him. He said that Jericho said what was on his mind and backed it up. He respected that. He said it reminded him of someone he knows. What happened? He says now Jericho gets on TV and runs his mouth. He says Jericho is calling all the legends out, that he used to be entertaining. He says Jericho is judging them. He’s teaching us what we should and shouldn’t be doing. He tells Jericho to "Please, SHUT THE HELL UP." Jericho starts to say something but Piper declares that he’s not finished yet. He says that Mickey Rourke is his friend. He watched the movie, and he cried. He says the movie is about the honor and respect that the legends have for everyone. He says the movie is about the pain- physically and emotionally. He says they do what they do because of the thrill of performing. He says they live for this. Piper says that people come up to him and say they remember when he slapped Mr. T. He says people come up to him and reflect when Roddy Piper shaved Adrian Adonis’ head. He says Jericho wants to erase these memories. No, says Piper. He says when he returned to the Royal Rumble last year, it felt like it was Wrestlemania 1 all over again. He said it was the thrill of a lifetime. He says he has one hip and he hurts all the time. But, as long as the fans say so, he will crawl down to the ring on his hands and knees to give them one more memorable moment, because Old School is cool.
Jericho nails Piper with the Mic and stomps him. He yells at Piper, teling him to crawl. Piper does and Jericho kicks him. He calls Piper a puppet on a string. Piper gets up while Jericho leaves the ring.
Todd Grisham welcomes Randy Orton. Orton says that he has no problem fighting Shane. He does have a problem with people thinking Rhodes and Dibiase do his fighting for him. Randy says if Shane wants to end this, Orton can make that happen.
We’re shown highlights from Wrestlemania IX.
Jamie Noble is in the ring and says everyone knows how important Wrestlemania is. He says he’s never been in Money in the Bank. He’s never danced with Liberace. He says that when he gets his Wrestlemania moment, he won’t stumble. He teases Chavo for only lasting 9 seconds. Then Kane comes out and Noble looks terrified.
Jamie Noble VS Kane
Noble goes to work on Kane, He gets on the top rope and goes for a body press. Kane catches him and dishes out a Chokeslam for the pin. Noble lasted 16 seconds against Kane.
Winner: Kane
JBL is shown backstage. He’s heading to the ring to deliver a "major announcement."
JBL gets out of his limo and heads to the ring. JBL gets the Mic and says that as of last night, Shawn Michaels is no longer his employee. He had his people write HBK a very large check, and he is now a free man. He says Michaels is financially stable and JBL could care less. He says he has more money than HBK will ever have. He hired Shawn Michaels to help him win the World Title, because he thought he had a date with destiny. But as of last night, he realized that that goal is too small. He has a date with destiny to do something historic at Wrestlemania- something that’s never been done. JBL wants to end the streak. He wants to go to Wrestlemania and defeat the Undertaker. HBK’s music hits and he makes his way to the ring. He has his smile back.
HBK enters the ring and he’s feeling good. The HBK chants are deafening. HBK says that last night he had an epiphany too. He can’t spell it, but he had one too. He is no longer Shawn Michaels: Employee of the month. He is HBK, the showstopper, the main event. He is Mr. Wrestlemania. He is free at last. He says at the Royal Rumble a man told him that it was hell getting to Heaven. He says that man was right, but he is living heaven on earth. Shawn Michaels says that there is nobody better to face The Undertaker than himself. He says if there’s anybody that should face Taker, it should be him. JBL says that since HBK is now able to pay his bills, he has gotten a ressurgence. He says that beating The Undertaker at Wrestlemania is his destiny, not Shawn’s. HBK says that JBL can’t tell him what to do anymore. He challenges JBL next week to a match, with the winner facing The Undertaker at Wrestlemania. JBL accepts. HBK says that this time it’s going to be a little different. He pokes JBL in the chest and says when it’s all said and done, it’s going to be him facing Undertaker at Wrestlemania. He continues to poke JBL and says, "God don’t you hate it when people do that!?" HBK’s music hits and he exits the ring.
We are then shown a video package of Orton’s history with the McMahon’s, starting with his kick to Vince McMahon.
We’re back from break and Rey Misterio is making his way to the ring. Then Mike Knox makes his way to the ring and we’re set for action.
Rey Misterio VS Mike Knox
Knox with a kick to Rey’s stomach. He picks up Misterio and punches him. Then he picks him up for a slam but Rey reverses and hits Mike with a flurry of kicks and punches. He runs against the ropes but is met with a clothesline from Knox. He goes for the cover but Rey kicks out. Knox throws Rey into the corner and charges but his met with some boots. Rey goes for a press, but Knox catches his and throws him from the ring to the outside.
Back from break, Knox is in control of Rey. He goes for a pin but Misterio kicks out. Knox locks in a chin lock. He then clubs Rey on the back. He throws him to the turnbuckle. rey reverses and hits Knox with some kicks. He runs at Knox but Knox nails Rey with a Tilt-o-whirl backbreaker. He goes for a pin but rey kicks out. Knox throws Rey back into the turnbuckle and Rey is whipplashed against it. Knox just stalks Misterio. He goes to pick him up but rey is kicking at him. Knox steps on Rey’s chest and goes for a cover, but Misterio kicks out. Knox is just dragging Rey around the ring. He brings him up and gets Rey in a bearhug. Misterio counters into a slingshot bulldog. He picks up Knox and hits him with an enziguri. Rey sets him up for the 619. He hits it! He then goes for the West Coast Pop. He misses ang goes for a springboard backflip[. Knox catches him and put him in a tree of woe position on the turnbuckle. He runs at Rey but Rey reverses it into a sunset flip for the 1-2-3!.
Winner: Rey Misterio
Backstage, Beth Phoenix, Santino, and Rosa Mendez are shown heading to the ring.
Melina makes her way to the ring, followed by Beth Phoenix, who is accompanied by Santino and Rosa Mendez.
Melina VS Beth Phoenix for the WWE Women’s Championship
Beth works over Melina from the start. She pummels Melina and throws her into the turnbuckle. Beth puts Melina in an abdominal stretch. Melina escapes and tries to bulldog Beth, but Beth reverses it into a backbreaker. She throws Melina into the turnbuckle. Melina reverses but is thrown outside of the ring. Santino and Rosa Mendez try to intefere, but Candice Michelle, Kelly Kelly, and Mickie James make their way to the ring and attack Santino. The distraction allows Melina to roll up Beth for the three count!
Winner: Melina
It is announced that the Funk brothers, Dory and Terry, are going to be inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame. Dusty Rhodes will be inducting them.
We are then shown highlights of what happened earlier between Edge and John Cena.
Stephanie is on the phone talking to her mystery person. She says that Shane is fighting Orton next so this person needs to hurry! The person hangs up on her.
Back from break, and Shane McMahon is making his way to the ring. It is reiterated that last night Shane was in the hospital. Randy Orton now heads to the ring. Shane jumps Orton before he can get in the ring and it’s now an all out brawl around the ring. Shane lands a huge punch on Orton. He clotheslines Orton over the barricade and into the crowd. He slams Orton stomach first onto the guard rail. Shane is in control of Orton. He hits Orton with a water bottle and then nails some punches on Randy’s face and back. Orton Retaliates with a punch of his own. Orton is now in control. He punches Shane back over the barricade. He slams Shane’s head onto the announcer’s desk. Orton throws Shane into the steel steps. He puts Shane in the ring and continues to pummel him. He is literally just punching Shane in the face. Shane falls to the outside and Orton follows. Orton backs Shane up into the ring apron. He does it again. Shane gets a second wind and pushes Orton over the announcer’s desk. He starts punching Orton and is slamming chairs on him. Shane now has a ring bell. He nails Orton with it.
Orton is limp as Shane pulls him into the ring. Orton is propped in the corner and Shane hits him in the back of his head with the bell. Shane then grabs a chair and props it in Randy’s face, setting up for the coast to coast. He climbs the turnbuckle but Legacy throws him off and starts to kick him. They are now pummeling Shane.
It is now 3 on 1. The Legacy and Shane McMahon. Randy is gearing up for his punt. He nails it and kicks Shane straight in the head. Stephanie comes to the ring to check on Shane. Orton has a crazy look in his eye and Stephanie is looking on over Shane. Orton stalks Shane and then Stephanie gets up to look at Orton. Out of nowhere, Orton hits Stephanie with the RKO! Suddenly, HHH runs out to ringside to check on Stephanie. HHH is fuming. He is turning red. Orton looks terrified. He looks down, almost in regret. The final image is HHH burning a hole through Orton.
Nick was born and raised in Detroit, Michigan, and lived there until the age of 18, when he decided to pack his flack jacket and move to New York City.
