I just saw the headline on eBay.
HAVE DINNER WITH KEVIN NASH “THE BIG SEXY” TNA WWE WWF
Note to any and all readers. Can I borrow $2,300?
Because I want to have dinner with âThe Big Sexyâ Kevin Nash.
Iâll pay you back. Maybe we can work out an installment plan of some sort. Iâm telling you, this is a deal that I canât pass up.
The ad says that âThe Big Sexyâ is 6′ 10″ with pure muscle mass and the looks of an outlaw biker (um, ok). He has the wit of Howard Stern and intelligent opinions on sports, feminism and politics. BAM! He reads the New Yorker every day. EVERY DAY! EVERY DAMN DAY! Are you kidding me? Seriously, the New Yorker is published 47 times a year. That means that âThe Big Sexyâ can get through that bad boy in a little over a week. We should call him âThe Big Sexy Rhodes Scholar.â According to the ad, for $2,300, you get:
A 4 hour visit from Kevin Nash “Big Sexy” himself from around 6:00pm – 10:00pm (the forgot the âTheââ¦darn typos)
Have a full skirt steak dinner with Kevin Nash (what if I want chicken and want to watch âThe Big Sexyâ eat chickenâ¦or shrimp? THAT would be cool)
Sit around a fire pit and enjoy the fire while listening to Kevin Nash road stories (But what about sports, feminism, politics, and that seven-plus day marathon of reading the New Yorker?)
Smoke one cigar with Kevin Nash (One for each person in the group, up to 6 people) (Well, I donât want my friends spoiling everything. They donât even read the New Yorker. So I get all six).
You will have a picture taken with Kevin Nash and he will hand sign it right there (Wait a minute. Take a picture and have it signed right away? What is this sorcery?)
You will get 3 days in a 5 bedroom beach house in Daytona Beach Shores (But will a copy of the New Yorker be at my doorstep every morning)
Andâ¦scene.
Seriously, you canât make this up, folks. Has it come to this? Pimping your celebrity self on eBay is the stuff of wrestlers who have fallen from grace and out of the spotlight. They need a buck or two to get by. I thought there would at least be a charitable outlet where the money would go, but no. All proceeds go to âThe Big Sexyâ and the eBay auctioneer.
I donât fault anyone for wanting to make a little pocket money. Hey, that gives me an idea.
HAVE DINNER WITH STEVE ANDERSON “THE BIG WRITER” PWI WOW ECW
Be the winning bidder and you get to have dinner at a Twin Cities south metro Chinese Buffet with one of the least charismatic icons of professional wrestling âjournalismâ Steve Anderson from WrestleZone.com. He has appeared in the 2004 WWE Hall of Fame DVD (donât blink) and the 1999 SummerSlam DVD (press conference with Jesse Venturaâ¦REALLY donât blink).
At 6′ 2″ with little muscle mass and the looks of a Scandinavian terrorist, Steve Anderson has the wit of an immature adolescent with fart and poop jokes aplenty. He is a blowhard who thinks he has intelligent opinions on everything from sports to feminism to politics, and backs up all of his claims with sad humor and what he thinks is wisdom! Is it unusual for a man who has achieved stardom in the world of professional wrestling journalism to read Cracked and Mad magazines on a daily basis and take the lead in philosophical conversation at dinner? It’s no wonder that Steve Anderson, better know to his fans as âthat guy who wrote the two books with Bobby Heenan,â is one of the least known personalities in the wrestling business and has established himself not only in the realm of wrestling writing, but in his own mind as well.
By being the highest bidder on this auction you will get:
– An 8 hour visit from Steve Anderson himself from around 4:00 pm to 12:00 am (seriously, he has the time)
– Have a full Chinese buffet dinner with Steve Anderson (beverage and tip not included)
– Sit around in his garage and enjoy the ambience while listening to Steve Anderson blather on about how great the âWOW Magazine eraâ was and how cool it was to go to WrestleMania XX.
– Smoke one Swisher Sweet with Steve Anderson (not included in the purchase price)
– You will have a picture taken with Steve Anderson who will hold the camera (provided by you) and maybe get around to emailing it to you
I figure $23 should be a good price. Donât you?
