TNA iMPACT! Results – July 31, 2008

Andy Steven


TNA Impact Results – 07/31/2008

Orlando, Florida

Report by Jason Powell Of ProWrestling.net

[Q1] Jeremy Borash sat on a coach with Booker T and Sharmell inside their dressing room. Booker spoke of a friend who would be joining him later in the show. “You mean Sting?” Borash asked. Booker dismissed Borash so that he and Sharmell could have some “alone time”…

The opening montage was from the TNA video game this week… Mike Tenay and Don West introduced the show. Tenay said Booker would be giving Joe a tour of the six sides of steel weapons match. West hyped the tag team No. 1 contenders match…

1. James Storm and Robert Roode (w/Jacqueline) defeated Christian and Rhino to become No. 1 contenders to the TNA Tag Titles in 10:45. Beer Money is now Beer Money Inc. That sounds slightly better, but I’m still not a fan of the cheese ball name. The show cut to commercial after a few minutes of back and forth action. [C]

At 9:00, Team 3D and Johnny Devine ran out and tried to interfere. Brother Ray and Johnny Devine ran out and tried to interfere, but the babyfaces fought them off. Devon ran out to help. Rhino lined up Devon for a gore, but Jackie grabbed him from behind. Poor Earl Hebner had to act like he didn’t notice that Team 3D snuck back inside the ring and hit 3D on Rhino, which enabled the heels to get the win.

[Q2] After the match, Christian challenged Team 3D to face him and Rhino in a New Jersey street fight at the pay-per-view. Bubba stood there with a concerned look on his face while Devon laughed… [C]

Backstage, Lauren stood by while the Rock-n-Rave Infection did their usual routine. Absolute nonsense…

2. Curry Man and Shark Boy and Jay Lethal (w/SoCal Val) defeated Lance Rock and Jimmy Rave and Johnny Devine (w/Christy Hemme). Solid action from bell to bell. Lethal pinned Devine to win the match for his team.

[Q3] After the match, Lethal had Val join him in the ring. “Let’s try this again,” he said. He got down on one knee and started to ask her to marry him, but then he noticed that she wasn’t wearing her engagement ring. She said she lost it. He got upset and said he could take a hint. “I don’t think you ever wanted to marry me in the first place”…

Backstage, Jeremy Borash interviewed the host of the CMT countdown show that the TNA wrestlers are appearing on. Super Eric interrupted and said he needed to “find the ring, save the love.” He said he was going to get the rest of the Prince Justice Brotherhood on the case… [C]

During the break, a commercial for the Chicago pay-per-view aired. Kurt Angle, Samoa Joe, and others were dressed up as gangsters. Great, now they’re ripping off the theme idea from WWE. Why do they always pick the worst of WWE to rip off?…

Backstage, Borash informed Samoa Joe that Booker wants to give him a personal tour of the six sides of steel cage. Joe got upset and yelled a lot. Joe always gets upset and yells a lot…

Highlights aired of the Samoa Joe and Booker T feud. They didn’t include Joe flipping off Sting. Rather, they tried to make it look like Sting attacked Joe for no reason…

Borash encouraged Kevin Nash, who tried to get Joe to calm down. He was upset and yelling about Sting and Booker. He claimed that Sting blindsided him last week when the lights went out. “I know it was Sting, Kev,” said Joe. Nash said they need a plan if they’re going to war. Joe calmed down and said he’d do things Nash’s way… [C]

[Q4] Booker stood inside the six sides of steel, which had various weapons hanging up in the cage. Joe joined Booker (at least I assume that’s what happened because my DVR went on the fritz and I missed about a minute of the show) in the cage. Booker mocked Joe for not bringing weapons (um, there are a bunch hanging up) or backup.

Joe dropped his towel to reveal that he brought a weapon to the ring with him. By the way, there was a trash can, kendo stick, ladder, chair, table, and other weapons in the ring, so it’s a good thing Joe brought his own weapon. Good lord.

Nash locked the cage door while Joe attacked Booker with the weapon he brought to the ring. Sharmell ran out, but Nash picked her up and carried her backstage. Joe was distracted by this for some reason. A baseball bat lowered from the ceiling (because the other 20 weapons in the ring weren’t enough) and Booker struck Joe with it. “What the hell are you doing,” Sting,” Tenay yelled. “Damn you, Sting,” yelled one of the announcers. Idiots.

The latest Sheik Abdul Bashir vignette aired. He sounded off on Americans. Well done…

In the ring, A.J. Styles said he’s been defending Sting for three weeks. He started yelling a lot and demanded to know what’s going on with Sting. He said he’s been telling everyone that there’s a reason Sting did what he did at the pay-per-view. “How come your bat keeps knocking Samoa Joe out?”

Styles referred to Sting as a coward. The lights went out. When they came back on, Kurt Angle was standing behind Styles. Kurt hit the Olympic Slam. He stood over Styles and said, “If you want to face my wife, you face the consequences.” Kurt hit Styles with two more Olympic Slams.

[Q5] Backstage, Shark Boy and Curry Man confronted Angelina Love and Velvet Sky and accused them of stealing Val’s ring. After they ran off the masked guys, Love and Sky told Borash that “she is ready”… [C]

Backstage, Lauren interviewed Petey Williams while Rhaka Khan stood by. Petey mocked Creed for being “so insecure he pretends he’s a character from a movie.” Lauren said it seemed like Petey was taking Creed lightly…

3. Consequences Creed pinned Petey Williams (w/Rhaka Khan) in a non-title match in 5:15. Hermie Sadler sat in on commentary because he’s Jeff Jarrett’s friend. Meanwhile, Slick Johnson served as the shorts wearing referee because he’s Jeff Jarrett’s friend. Petey dominated the match and went for the Canadian Destroyer, but Creed blocked it and held Petey down for the three count…

[Q6] Backstage, the Prince Justice Brotherhood pissed off LAX. Curry tried to explain that he’s in a gang and has his own symbol…

Lauren interviewed Styles backstage. He kept yelling. He now yells more than Samoa Joe. He’s more upset with Sting than Angle even though Kurt just hit him with three Olympic slams…

Tenay and West welcomed Jim Cornette to the announcers’ table and then ran through the pay-per-view. Cornette announced that the Rhino and Christian vs. Team 3D match is official for the pay-per-view…

The second part of Karen’s Angle with Kaz aired. He’s still upset because he lost Ultimate X. He announced that he’s no longer a member of the TNA roster. He said he made the choice to walk away so that he can see what’s out there for him. “Right now, I gotta focus on me and see what’s out there for Kaz.” Karen hugged him and said she’d miss him.

Back at ringside, Tenay said the cameras kept rolling after Kaz left the set. They went back to video of the Karen Angle show. Tomko showed up and started throwing stuff around the set. He said Kurt sent him to make her life a miserable hell. She called out for help and he turned the camera away… [C]

[Q7] Backstage, Lauren interviewed Nash about Sting. He said something must have pissed Sting off. Joe showed up holding his neck. He yelled a lot and said he was going to beat up Sting…

4. Matt Morgan squashed Sal Rinauro in 1:10. Total squash. Morgan won with the Hellevator…

After the match, Morgan called out Tomko, who came out and stood face to face with Morgan. Tomko took his shirt off and took the first swing. Morgan fired back and then security stepped in. They had a brief pull apart brawl. Security pushed Tomko to ringside. Tomko teased leaving, but he wanted for Morgan to turn his head and attacked him from behind. Morgan hit Tomko with a big boot to the face and then hit him with the Hellevator…

Super Eric is the smartest man in TNA. He watched footage from last week’s show with Shark Boy and Curry Man. They discovered that Sonjay Dutt stole the ring. Young said the question isn’t what they do now, it’s what they do next week. “Same Prince Justice time, same Prince Justice channel… [C]

Backstage, Borash interviewed Team 3D and Beer Money. Brother Ray said they’re friends because they realized “these guys are scum bags just like us.” Ray announced that Team 3D and Beer Money will face LAX and Christian and Rhino in an eight-man, no DQ match. Ray said they’re going to send LAX back to Taco Bell. Ugh… [C]

A Rough Cuts segment with Taylor Wilde aired. Audio aired with her trainer Bill DeMott. Other Knockouts chimed in as well…

[Q8] 5. Gail Kim and Taylor Wilde beat Angelina Love and Velvet Sky in 9:20. The heel team took control just prior to the break. They cut to a backstage shot of Samoa Joe who was walking up a stairway, presumably to search for Sting in the rafters. [C]

In the end, Wilde tried to roll up Sky while Love was standing by. Kim ran over and hit a split legged dropkick that took out Love and knocked Sky right into the Wilde’s roll up for the win.

After the match, Awesome Kong and Raisha Saeed walked to the ring. Kong hit Awesome Bombs on Kim and Wilde. ODB walked to the ring and stood face to face with Kong. Roxxi walked out with a chair in her hand and stood next to ODB. Kong backed down and left the ring. Traci Brooks stood at the top of the entrance ramp, while Tenay said there had been a “total change in the landscape” for the Knockouts…

In the rafters, Joe was yelling for Sting. Instead, he discovered a crow. “Stiiiiiing!” yelled Joe to end the show…

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