COLUMN: OS #35 – The Crossface Pt II, In Defense Of Disco

Kevin McElvaney


Offbeat Shenanigans #35

by: Kevin McElvaney

THE CROSSFACE, PART II

Last week’s column provoked quite a bit of heated debate, both through the emails I received and the many spirited posts in the WrestleZone.com forums. All of this surrounded my assertion that it would be in poor taste for a wrestler to use the Crippler Crossface at this time.

I won’t cite any specific feedback I’ve received, either here or in the forums, due to the great quantity of it, but there were plenty of interesting points made. A vast majority of those I heard from seemed to disagree with me and felt that the Crippler Crossface is fair game to be used during matches.

First off, if you are, in fact, interested in looking at the forum post which discussed the matter, you can check that out here.

Of those who disagreed with me, the dissenters can be grouped into two basic categories.

1) It’s just a submission hold, and a good one. Let’s move on!

While I don’t agree with this argument, I can see the validity of it. After all, for those who are able to ignore who the move was primarily attached to, it is just a submission hold…and a good one, at that. Again, not my opinion on the matter, but it is at least a fair argument.

2) Chris Benoit was an amazing wrestler, and his legacy should be honored by allowing the Crippler Crossface to be used.

This is a very different matter, indeed. Here, we get into the argument about whether or not WWE should acknowledge that Chris Benoit ever existed. However, judging from the forum feedback, it seems that some people want the move (and Benoit) to be exalted. Does anyone see a problem with this scenario?

JR: Oh mah gawd, Mick! That’s the Crippler Crossface that The Game is using! Shades of the late, great Chris Benoit!

The funny thing is, I think certain fans don’t see a lick wrong with this. Let’s try and carry this over to other areas of sports and entertainment and see how it works.

Al Michaels: Wow, what charisma this young athlete exhibits. He should spend the offseason in Hollywood, because he really reminds me of a young O.J. Simpson!

(awkward pause)

AM: You know…he was in those Leslie Nielsen movies?

(crickets chirp)

AM: Anyone? …Oh, come on!

“But O.J. wasn’t convicted,” you say. You’re right, Cynical Fan. The Juice was not, in fact, convicted. Let’s look at a similar situation with someone who was.

Dude at Coffeehouse: Bro, you were ON tonight!

Young Singer / Songwriter: Hey, thanks Dude!

Dude: Yeah, your songs are very interesting. They kind of remind me of a young Charles Manson.

Let the record state that I am in no way trying to undermine the seriousness of any of these atrocities. A sense of humor just tends to help sometimes.

Back to Benoit. There was some truly great discussion on the boards. Sure, some of it was downright misguided. For example, comparing Droz’s broken neck or Hugh Grant’s roadside encounter with the Benoit incident is like comparing Shia Lebeouf’s public smoking fine with Michael Vick’s animal cruelty charges.

Still, some excellent discussion overall. Thanks for sharing your idea, guys and gals, as always!

Let me close by saying that I was an enormous fan of Chris Benoit. I want to move on past what happened last year as much as anybody else. What Benoit did last year left me devastated. That’s why, at this point, I don’t want to see anything that stirs up certain memories or pays tribute to him. No, I’ve not forgotten all the great things he did in the ring. I was there when he was the World Heavyweight Title at WM XX. It was, at the time, amazing. Fast forward four years, and I’ve literally thrown his Hard Knocks DVD into the trash.

I don’t begrudge a single one of you for wanting to remember Chris Benoit. I, personally, just want to forget about the whole damn thing.

IN DEFENSE OF GLENN

Glenn Gilbertti is the reigning heel of WrestleZone.com, so I’m a little hesitant to write this. After all, I don’t want to risk costing him some of that wonderful heat he’s built up! That said, Michael Moody’s most recent column was tasteless and not even entertaining.

First off, the mention that Glenn was a pizza delivery guy is about the stupidest dig I’ve ever read in my life. “Oh my God! He had to work a low paying job to make money before he was able to do what he really wanted for a living!” Moody, are you telling me that you’ve always been a documentary maker and have never once worked in retail, food service, or some other low paying and low gratitude job? Come on. If your answer is “yes,” then you must’ve been a really spoiled kid. If it’s “no,” then who are you to dig on someone for doing the same thing that you once did?

Second, Glenn jobbing to Jackie in WCW showed a lot of class on his part. It helped get her over and establish her as a credible threat to people who are viewed as bigger or stronger than her. Your description of her as a “huge breasted black chick” paints you as a pretty ignorant guy, as well.

Finally, a couple of us here have taken shots at the gambling ring in which Disco was alleged to have taken part. The difference? We did it with subtlety! The fact that your column had to be edited because of offensive content shows that you wrote it with a lack of tact and cleverness.

I can appreciate someone trying to rib another writer on the site but, again, this was a poor attempt at it. You’ve spoken with a ton of wrestlers and produced two very popular documentaries. Is this really the best insight you can come up with?

Till next time…

Kevin McElvaney is a contributing writer for Pro Wrestling Illustrated and The Wrestler / Inside Wrestling. He values his health and would never call Jacqueline a “huge breasted black chick.”

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