Raw starts now.
Jim Ross and The King are your hosts, coming to us live from San Antonio, Texas. They say we have matches to determine who gets a draft pick, like last year. Michael Cole and are here too. Cole introduces Mike Adamle and The Tazz. You know you suck if Cole is taking shots at your commentating skills.
This week’s password is “Night of Champions.”
Triple H vs. Mark Henry
JR and Foley on commentary. Trips tells Mizark to suck it. Side headlock applied by The Game, so Mizark just shoves him off and knocks him down with a shoulder block. He uses his head as a weapon then floors The Game with a right hand. Ridiculously slow pace here as Henry hits another head butt. Henry walks into a boot and The Game tees off with rights but runs into the chocolate wall. Henry drills Triple H with a right to the gut, then a shot to the back of the head. He scoops Triple H up and slams him, and I think Henry is tired. He drops an elbow and gets 2. JR points out that Henry is too tired to hook the leg. Henry pulls The Game back up and hits aâ<80>¦ head butt. He goes to the second rope and connects with a VADER BOMB, but The Game gets a foot on the bottom rope. Henry pulls him to the center and gets 2. He tries the pin again and gets 2 more. JR has me worried by saying this is just the early part of the match. Henry applies a chinlock and The Game gets to his feet and tries to fight out, but Henry gets him up, only for Trips to slide out the back door and tee off. FACEBUSTER! Henry staggers and The Game hits the high knee and Henry finally goes down. Pedigree try, counteredâ<80>¦ WORLD’S STRONGEST SLAM! It gets just 2. BIG SPLASH MISSES. PEDIGREE!
Winner: Triple H
Raw Draft Pick Rey Mysterio
Mysterio is out now and he gets a big ovation. The Game is happy. They shake hands in the ring.
Million Dollar Mania: Why is this only eligible to US residents? Vince can afford to give away three million, but not the shipping and handling cost to send some of that mon-ay over to the UK? Vince goes through the prizes, five lots of $100,000 and the $500,000 at the end of the night. He needs help. Of course. He brings out the delightful Kelly Kelly, who is looking wonderful in a little yellow number tonight. She dials the number, allowing Vince to sneak a look at her rack. Crystal tells him the password, he says she’s wrong and calls her a loser. Somebody corrects him because she got it right. Way to go, Vince. Kelly dances, because she’s a whore, or something.
In the back, Triple H welcomes Rey to Raw. John Cena is here. Rey leaves. Cena doesn’t appreciate The Game kicking his ass last week when Cena made the save. The Game doesn’t want or need his help. He says they’ve tip-toed around this and now it’s personal. He never got over Mania 22 because he knows he is better than Cena, and Cena will never be as good as Cena. Cena says maybe he got lucky, but he won. Cena says if you want to be the man, you have to beat the man. The Game says until you take the title from him, you’re nothing.
Million Dollar Mania: Vince brings out Randy Orton. He’s still all bandaged up. He has the microphone and says just like everyone else, he was forced to be here because he is eligible for the draft, so he has something to sayâ<80>¦ to John Cena and Triple H. He does not care who is champion after this Sunday, but they both better hope that he gets drafted because when he’s backâ<80>¦ and he will be back sooner than anyone can expectâ<80>¦ he will be champion again. He’s not in the mood to give away $100,000. Vince wants to give away a great main event; John Cena vs. Edge. For the record, that was the first match of last year’s draft show. Vince makes a call and the guy has trouble with his name. The guy asks if Vince wants the password. No duh. He gives it and gets the money.
Hardcore Holly and Cody Rhodes vs. Chavo Guerrero and Bam Neely
Adamle and King are on commentary. Ted DiBiase is on guest commentary. Neely beats on Cody and tags in Chavo, who pummels Cody in the corner, then Neely chokes Cody behind the referee’s back. Chavo tries a back suplex but Cody lands on his feet and hits a dropkick and in comes Holly. He back drops Chavo and then hits the punt to the gut. Holly runs into a boot but rolls through a crossbody. Neely boots Holly mid-Alabama Slam attempt. Cody makes the save but gets dumped. Chavo gets caught skinning the cat and Holly nails the Alabama Slam..
Winners: Holly and Rhodes 1/4*
Raw Draft Pick: CM Punk
Chris Jericho is out for some promo time. We are in San Antonio by the way. Hmmm. Jericho doesn’t expect anything from us because we’ve been brain washed into thinking Shawn Michaels is a decent human being and we should be ashamed. He tells the truth and we boo him and throw trash. How dare we. HBK has lied to his friends for years and he has evidence. We get a video package, featuring the Barber Shop incident, Shawn super kick Diesel, Shawn super kicking Hogan, Michaels super kicking Cena and Michaels faking a knee injury against Batista. Yet we still cheer Shawn. Jericho says we can’t cheer for him, he refuses to let him. There’s only person who is like him; honest. That man is Lance Cade. Jericho says Cade was Shawn’s student. Cade says he knew Shawn would turn his back on him like he has everyone else. Unlike Shawn, Jericho is a man and is someone he can trust. Shawn won’t get the chance to turn his back on him. Cade says the people may not appreciate Jericho, but he does. Chris thanks him. Jericho says he doesn’t have an opponent for Night of Champions. He says he’d love to defend against Michaels, but two weeks agoâ<80>¦ we get the video package of Jericho destroying Shawn on the Highlight Reel. Jericho says it’s not over, and the worst is yet to comeâ<80>¦
Shawn Michaels is here! He’s got that angry look on his face and heads for the ring. Spearâ<80>¦ brawl! Shawn tackles Jericho and they go to the floor. Jericho sends Michaels face-first into the announce table and Shawn’s hurt again. EMTs are down to tend to Michaels. Jericho seems concerned. Now Jericho has a big smirk on his face.
Miz and Morrison are here. Vickie Guerrero comes out. She says it was going to be Hawkins and Ryder in this match, but recent developments have forced her to change her mind. Their new opponentsâ<80>¦
John Morrison and The Miz vs. The Hardys
Oh yeah! This should be awesome. Miz and Matt start and lock up, Hardy gets the knock down. Lock up again and Miz gets a hammerlock, wrenches the arm, Matt counters and works over Miz’s arm. Miz backs him into the corner and beats down Matt, but Hardy comes back and slams Miz into the turnbuckle and follows up with a big clothesline. Jeff in now and they hit POETRY IN MOTION. Jeff takes Morrison out for a lol. Rope-assisted corner dropkick now by Jeff, and that gets 2. Hardy grabs a side headlock and adds the takeover. Tazz is surprised that ECW has been screwed so far tonight. Morrison gets a cheap shot from the apron that allows Miz to hit a clothesline, and they hit the slingshot/forearm/elbow drop combo for 2. Morrison applies a chinlock to ground Jeff. He fights up but gets knocked down again. Morrison lies Jeff across the apron and punts him. Miz gets a tag now and they hit a double gut buster. That gets a 2 count. Miz locks in that chinlock now. Hardy fights up but gets slowed down with a knee to the gut. To the corner and Miz hits his running clothesline for another 2 count. Morrison nails his mounted forearms and Miz is back in. He hits a leg drop for 2. He goes back to the chinlock. Jeff finally fights out and hits the WHISPER IN THE WIND! HOT TAG both sides and Matt cleans house with clotheslines and the corner clothesline/bulldog combo, taking Miz out too. Yodelling elbow drop to the neck of Morrison. SIDE EFFECT! That gets 2 before Miz breaks it up. JEFF tosses Miz and hits a PLANCHA! Matt goes up top but Morrison heads him off and goes up. Morrison knocked off, LEG DROP from the second rope. Miz distracts the ref and Morrison rolls Hardy up with a handful of tights.
Winners: Miz and Morrison **3/4
ECW Draft Pick: Matt Hardy
Million Dollar Mania: Vince reminisces about giving away money. He says he was over zealous about throwing Ric Flair out of the building last week, but he is here now. Donna gives the password and wins $100,000. Ric gives us a “Woooo” just for fun.
Only ring announcers, and interviewers are eligible for this next pick.
Mickie James and Melina vs. Natalya and Victoria
Natalya and Melina start and Natalya grabs a front face lock/ The commentary here is awesome. Melina slugs away but gets caught with a powerslam. Victoria in and puts the boots to Melina, and they don’t know who is meant to be commentating. Victoria drives a shoulder into the mid section. Melina gets a 2 count off of a Thesz press. Victoria runs into a big boot, Melina goes up top but gets shoved all the way to the floor. Melina is hurt. Victoria attacks Mickie and Natalya beats on Melina. Adamle says it’s a DQ, and JR asks him what that means! Ha!
Winner: No-one. Double DQ
SmackDown Draft Pick: Jim Ross
Million Dollar Mania: Great Khali is Vince’s guest. Vince points out Khali in Get Smart. Khali talks about the film in his native language. Vince says The Rock is in the film too, and Vince plugs The Rock’s DVD. Vince makes the call and the guy says Vince has the wrong numberâ<80>¦ Khali shouts at the phone! Haha, classic. Vince makes another call and the guy tells him to hold on a minute. Khali shouts at the phone and we have a winner. That is ridiculous.
Edge vs. John Cena
They lock up, go to the corner and break. Then they do the same thing again, only Edge gets a cheap shot that knocks Cena down. Edge takes Cena to the corner and nails him. Cena comes back to boos and Edge blocks a bulldog attempt and then nails him with a boot. Edge nails Cena again but Cena comes back, they slug it out, and Cena gets caught with a snap powerslam. Edge chokes Cena on the top rope then fires off with some forearms, and chokes him again. Edge shoots Cena off and hits a big clothesline. Edge drops a knee and then follows up with a clothesline, and JR sounds legit pissed here, maybe he didn’t know it was coming. Cena comes back and hits the THROWBACK for 2. Edge cuts him off mid-comeback and hits a dropkick for 2. They exchange rights again, both men charge and they nail clotheslines and both are down. Cena ducks a clothesline and hits a couple of shoulder tackles, and there’s the PROTOPLEX. YOU CAN’T SEE ME! Cena hits the 5KS and sets up for the FU, but Edge slides out, tries for the Edge-O-Matic, blocked, FU try, counter, Impaler DDTâ<80>¦ gets 2! Edge tries for the Spear but Cena hits the drop toeholdâ<80>¦ STFU! Edge is in the ropes, eventually. Edge hangs Cena up on the top rope and goes to the top rope. Cena is up and heads him offâ<80>¦ FU try, but Edge slides out of it, and shoves Cena to the floor. Edge goes out now and comes off the apronâ<80>¦ gets caughtâ<80>¦ fireman’s carryâ<80>¦ Cena carries him up the steps, Edge fights out, Cena shoves Edge to the floor and Cena comes in to get the CO win.
Winner: John Cena
Batista is here and beats on Edge. Edge bails. Cena and Batista are left in the ring.
Raw Draft Pick: Batista
I called it. Batista and Cena stare down. Edge is pleased.
In the back, Edge and Vickie laugh at Batista. Vince is here. He reminds them that all the matches at Night of Champions are in tact. Vince asks what happens if Edge is drafted some place else.
MVP vs. Tommy Dreamer
MVP levels Dreamer with a boot to the head and then goes for some crossfaces. Dreamer gets the ropes, MVP pulls him back and hits a suplex for 1. Elbow drop by MVP now. Dreamer creams him with a right and they continue slugging it out. Body shots by MVP now and this is getting tedious. Dreamer comes back with a bulldog. Dreamer comes back but gets kicked in the back of the leg, and MVP tries for that big kickâ<80>¦ and gets it. That’s it.
SmackDown Draft Pick: Umaga
JBL vs. Kofi Kingston
JBL is confused. He frowns upon Kofi’s shenanigans. JBL batters Kofi in the corner with vicious boots and fists, because he’s smash mouth. Side headlock applied now by JBL, but Kofi comes back and knocks him down with an elbow. Kofi gets a knockdown and gets 2. JBL comes back and gets a big boot. JBL drops some elbows and puts the boots to Kofi. JBL applies a version of a sleeper, Kofi fights out but gets caught and JBL hits the fallaway slam for 2. JBL applies a bearhug now and Kofi fights out again with elbows. JBL runs into a boot and gets caught with mounted punches and then Kofi lands a dropkick for 2. Kofi goes up top and misses a crossbodyâ<80>¦ CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL!
Raw Draft Pick: Kane
Million Dollar Mania
King and Cole run down the Night of Champions card. They again leave off half the matches.
15 Man Tri-Branded Battle Royal for 2 Draft Picks
10TH AND 11TH DRAFT PICKS
Million Dollar Mania
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