Event: WWE Monday Night RAW
PROMO TIME â<80>” Triple H. He’s the #1 contender for Wrestlemania’s main event dontcha know. He’s in a good mood as a result. He says last year he was in a wheelchair watching 80,000 fans at Wrestlemania from backstage. “The Game is back” claims H’s before telling us he belongs in the main event at Wrestlemania. He’s aiming to win his 12th WWE title. He’s about to do his King of Kings thing when RANDY ORTON comes out here to interupt. Crowd tell him he sucks. Orton says this is full circle as it was Cena, Hardy, Jericho, Michaels and before them it was HHH who lost to Orton first. Orton claims H’s is jealous of him, which is why he kicked him out of Evolution. And now he’s that much better so H’s is even more jealous. I hear an “RKO” chant from the minority. He continues to talk but out comes JOHN CENA. The usual mixed reaction for him. Cena calls Orton a liar and a loser. He claims Orton has an asterix next to his name after he lost his way into Wrestlemania. He wants a re-match, tonight. Orton tries to bully H’s into siding with him in the Wrestlemania main event club. H’s says he doesn’t give a crap who he faces. This brings out WILLIAM REGAL to bestow his decision on the matter. Regal tells us H’s is a lock for Mania but Orton got himself disqualified on purpose so that doesn’t reflect well on the Raw brand and books Orton v Cena tonight in a non-title match. Cena gets to compete in a 3-way at Wrestlemania if he wins. Crowd actually BOO that. Oops, looks like the crowd don’t want to see a 3-way dance. H’s doesn’t either. Regal makes it interesting by booking H’s as the referee for tonight’s match.
New music for Jeff. About time after 9 years of that Hardy Boyz music. He’s all growns up now. The band that recorded it are at ringside. JR claims every winner of the MitB match has gone on to win the WWE title. So I guess Mr Kennedy didn’t win it, which is strange because I saw him do so. Snitsky starts with the usual size and power and Hardy clocks him with the corner dropkick. Jeff up top but Snitsky crotches him and boots him out of the ring. Ad break. We return with Snitsky working at a bearhug. Hardy elbows out. Crowd is quiet all of a sudden. Snitsky is very methodical with a series of elbow drops. Snitsky works at a chinlock for a while. He’s really sucking the life out of this match now. Snitsky with a slam but he misses a legdrop. Hardy comes back with a crossbody for 2. Whisper in the Wind wings Snitsky for 2. Sign of Hardy’s move up the card; people buy that as a finish now. I heard gasps at the kickout. Snitsky avoids the Twist of Fate into a big boot. He goes for the pumphandle but Hardy counters into the Twist of Fate and the Swanton bomb finishes.
Winner: Jeff Hardy via pinfall. Â½*. No issues with Hardy, fake tan aside, but Snitsky just bored the hell out of me there.
POST MATCH Jerry Lawler shills WWEMobile voting. Tonight “Should Maria pose for Playboy”? Gee, I wonder if that’ll come back in the positive?
BACKSTAGE We see Floyd Mayweather chatting to Rey Jr.
HALL OF FAME â<80>” Shawn Michaels comes out to make the announcement. He’s in good spirits despite losing last night. He says it’s an honor to introduce the first inductee. He’s idolised this man his entire professional career and the reason why he became a wrestler. He’s the greatest wrestler of all time. And he’s my friendâ<80>¦RIC FLAIR. We get clips of his history complete with bits from promos over the years. WOOOOO! JR points out that Flair deserves his own wing in the Hall of Fame. HBK says no one deserves it more than Flair. WOOO!
SHILL â<80>” Top Ten Slammy Moments of all time. On WWE.com this Saturday night. Some great stuff in there.
Paul Burchill w/Katie Lea v Super Crazy
Paul gets a little promo time inset to talk about how the guys are all looking at his sister. Crazy doesn’t even get music. Jobber. He starts fast but Burchill boots him in the chest. “Paul the pirate” chant the crowd with better memories. Burchill starts stretching Crazy on the mat then clocks him with a lariat. Crazy is finished already but Burchill adds in a Curb Stomp for the pin.
Winner: Paul Burchill via squash . He needs to make his stuff look stiffer if he’s going to get over. That lariat isn’t hard enough.
BACKSTAGE Big Show chats with Shane McMahon.
ELSEWHERE H’s is on the phone saying it doesn’t matter who he gets. Randy Orton arrives to discuss said matter. He’s opposed to a triple threat match because Cena doesn’t deserve it. And in the process reminds H’s that Cena made him tap at Wrestlemania two years ago. H’s reminds him that he taught Orton how to play mind games so he’s calling this match to favour himself not Orton.
CLIPS â<80>” Big Show & Floyd Mayweather. We’ll likely see this a lot before Wrestlemania.
PROMO TIME â<80>” The Big Show. He looks upset. Less jovial than last night certainly. He says he was asked to come out here and apologise for antagonising Floyd Mayweather. He knows Mayweather is in the building so he invites him out here so he can formally apologise. Mayweather comes out here and he has that massive entourage again. Smattering of boo’s in his reaction. Excellent. Floyd says he loves publicity and has been a WWE fan for several years. He’s sorry things happened last night but he’s the best fighter in the world (BOOOO). When someone calls him out he has to retaliate. Show says he didn’t call him out he was just trying to get a little publicity because of his size advantage. Show says he’s sorry (BOOOO). He offers a handshake. Floyd is cautious but accepts. Show isn’t happy with the segment ending that way though. He’s done what he was supposed to do but now he’s going to get something off his chest. He says the only way Floyd could hurt him was on his knees but even on his knees he’s still bigger than Floyd. And if he wanted to he’d take Mayweather out in 2 minutes. Show wants him one on one. “The Greatest fighter in the world versus the biggest athlete in the world”. Floyd runs down here accompanied by about a dozen guys (BOOOO). Floyd accepts and makes Show flinch with a ghost punch.
Ok, let me talk about this a bit. Why does Show have to apologise? He was in the ring being the performer. A fan, Floyd, jumps into the ring and repeatedly punches him. Then runs away like a coward surrounded by 12 guys. And this makes him the babyface? I’m also thinking he’s the one who owed the Big Show an apology for a) getting in his ring and b) sucker punching him like a coward. Oh and c) taking liberties. His big shot attitude is about on a par with Kevin Federline. I’ve never liked Floyd Mayweather and I like him even less now.
SHILL â<80>” Wrestlemania 24. 41 days away.
Money in the Bank qualifier â<80>” Mr Kennedy v Val Venis
JR remembers what happened to Mr Kennedy last year during this match. Kennedy looks upset as well because he failed to beat Ric Flair last night and end his career. He works over Val’s arm from the opening bell. Kennedy blocks a clothesline on that bad arm. Apparently Val had elbow surgery recently. Kennedy stays on the arm but Val gets a swinging neckbreaker. Val charges into the Mic Check and that’ll do it.
Winner: Mr Kennedy via pinfall. Squash. Kennedy has a shot at repeating his achievement last year. Although he’s lost momentum since then.
Steel cage match â<80>” Mr McMahon v Hornswoggle
Finlay comes out here with Hornswoggle complete with shillelagh. Vince isn’t best pleased to see him. “This is wrong” shouts Finlay. JR says something about tough love going too far here. JBL promptly appears out of nowhere and rams the cage door into Finlay’s head. He handcuffs Finlay to the ropes and wails away with kicks and punches. Vince decides to administer tough love with his belt. Hornswoggle takes a shot and he’s whimpering like a dog. Who’d have thought beating a lephrechaun with a belt would get booed? Vince has had enough and after half a dozen shots he walks out of the cage to win. JBL is still in there though and he wants to make a point by strangling Hornswoggle and running him head first into the cage. He’s looking to get under Finlay’s skin. “TAKE IT OUT ON ME” screams Finlay. JBL kicks Hornswoggle in the head. They’ve really created some strong emotions with this match and its not what I expected. FALLAWAY SLAM INTO THE CAGE! JBL = midget killer!
Winner: Mr McMahon via escape. Even Vince felt the conclusion of that beating went a little too far and he calls for help. You can hear him saying he’s sorry and he sounds upset. Nothing compared to Finlay who’s steaming mad. “Both of you will pay” he’s shouting. JBL walks off. What a bastard.
PROMO TIME â<80>” Santino Marella & Maria Kanellis. We get the mobile answers; 94% said Maria should pose for Playboy. 6% of people wasted their money. Marella says he has great news; Maria is going to be in Playboy. More good news; Maria gets to wrestle Beth Phoenix right now.
Maria Kanellis v Beth Phoenix
Maria is actually wearing high heels. This match is somewhat of a surprise for her. Santino stops off to say in the contract with Playboy says she has to beat Beth Phoenix tonight. “Someone play a joke on us” claims Santino. Beth dominates, as you’d expect. Maria tries to come back with a whirl but she gets slammed. Maria’s no n*pple slipped out here and it was super hot. We have 3 EXCLUSIVE pics at the link at the very bottom of this report. Maria with body shots but she’s powered up again. CANDICE MICHELLE is out here and Maria uses the distraction to get a fluke roll up win!
Winner: Maria via pinfall. Santino’s fist biting reaction is priceless. As well as his smiling while he raises Maria’s hand then grimacing whenever she’s not looking. Awesome reaction shots.
(6) Randy Orton vs. John Cena â<80>” Special Guest Referee: Triple H. (If Cena wins, he is added to the WWE Championship match at WrestleMania)
Randy Orton v John Cena
Special referee is Triple H. Orton gets in a quick closed fist and continues along those lines with repeated punches. HHH lets it go. Cena figures he might as well punch too but Orton catches him with a dropkick out of nowhere. Cena gets knocked off the apron and bounces off the announce table. H’s is reluctant to start counting as we head into the ad break. We return with Cena getting fired up and he elbow drops Orton for 2. H’s cadence is normal. He’s just ignoring most of the rules. They head outside and Orton wants a weapon but Cena bounces his face off the announce table instead as a receipt. Heading back inside Orton gets his rope DDT but Cena landed flat off it. Pin gets 2. “RKO” chant is growing. Cena fires up again but gets caught in a loose powerslam. Orton with the Garvin Stomp. He specifically aims at the ankle, which was a target last night. Orton with a headlock but Cena back suplexes out. Boo’s from the Cena haters once more. Cena misses a corner charge and gets rolled up for 2. That wasn’t terribly clean either. Cena fires away with punches to booing. Shoulderblocks and Cena is getting no height on those suggesting his ankle really is hurt. Five Knuckle Shuffle. Orton grabs the ropes to avoid the FU and hangs Cena up on the ropes. Outside and Orton uses the environment by whipping Cena into the steps. That leads to Orton’s stalking. Cena sells it and slowly gets up. RKO blocked into the STFU. H’s is down to check. Orton tries to break the grip but can’t. He edges over towards the ropes like he did last night. H’s remains neutral. Orton just noly gets the rope. H’s points out to Cena he was a little slow to release the hold. Cena eyeballs him but Orton charges into an FU for the loss.
Winner: John Cena via pinfall. *1/2. An unusual misstep for these guys. Loose and sloppy at times and had none of their usual chemistry.
POST MATCH H’s shows his cerebral assassin mentality by jumping Cena and Pedigreeing him. Because Orton is lying around doing nothing he gets a Pedigree too. H’s poses with the belt.
It’s Randy Ortin vs. Triple H vs. John Cena for the WWE title at Mania.