Event: WWE Monday Night RAW
-We get clips of last week’s cage match main event.
-JR and the King are our hosts.
~Show opening Interview~
Jeff Hardy makes his way to the ring. Hey, he’s out for some promo time! The crowd is digging Jeff tonight, and Jeff says he is excited. In less than two weeks he gets his chance to become WWE champion. “Wow!” He is thrilled and angry because he promised to take out Randy Orton. But it will happen tonight. Orton can come out here now or he will go and find him.
Orton’s music hits and here he comes. Orton says you got it, BUT, with one condition. He says only two men have held the IC and World Title at the same time, and he wants to be the third. At the Royal Rumble, they fight for the WWE title, but tonight, they fight for the IC Title. Hardy agrees to this. Orton is glad he accepted, because Jeff is fresh out of brothers to kick in the head. Jeff reiterates that he will take out Orton tonight.
-We get clips of McMahon’s announcement regarding Flair and his career.
Ashley, Maria and Mickie James vs. Jillian, Melina and Beth Phoenix
Jillian’s self sang theme music continues to rule. Ashley and Jillian to begin. Jillian takes her down and then whips her to the corner, eats a knee on the charge and Ashley gets a 2nd rope cross body for 2. Jillian tags to Melina, rights to Ashley but she comes back with a clothesline and Maria tags in. Handstand kick and then a boot to Melina. Melina trips her into the ropes and follows with a choke. A tag to Beth and this doesn’t bode well for young Maria. Side slam by Beth gets 2. Maria manages a jawbreaker, tag to Mickie and in with a head scissors to Beth. A dropkick follows and she takes out Jillian and Melina. Up top and a Thesz press to Beth off of the top! Beth is able to come back but Mickie back with an Enziguri for 2. EVERYONE is in now, Mickie and Beth left in the ring and a spinkick by Mickie connects. There was a clear-as-day Melina n*pple slip here. We have 8 pics at the link below. Off the ropes and they then blow a stun gun spot. Beth gets the Fisherman Woman’s Suplex for the win.
Winner: Jillian, Melina and Beth Phoenix @ 3:31 via pin
-Vince meets with Regal and has full confidence that he will beat Flair. Regal says he will do what HHH, Orton and Umaga couldn’t do. Vince gives Regal a hot water bottle with the enema deal on it. Wow. Vince says if they gave America an enema, they would start here in Mobile Alabama. Snitsky walks in and wants to hurt people. He wants a chance, he wants to make an impact. Vince makes Snitsky vs. HHH for tonight. Vince makes sure that Regal takes the enema kit with him. Wow.
-JR and King welcome us back and we see the finals moments of last year’s Royal Rumble.
-HBK on the mic now. He is OFFENDED that he has to qualify for the Rumble. Sure he didn’t win last year, but he was the runner up plus he has won the Rumble two times before. Yet he still has to qualify, and he wouldn’t want to break the authority of the WWE. He came out to challenge Mr. Kennedy, so he thinks that the match should be the qualifying match. Trevor Murdoch comes out instead.
ROYAL RUMBLE QUALIFYING MATCH: HBK vs. Trevor Murdoch
Lockup and rights by Murdoch. Off the ropes, back elbow to HBK. Rights and elbows by Murdoch, off the ropes and a yakuza to HBK. Cross face shots by Murdoch, rights in the corner, an Irish whip and HBK hits hard, is down and Murdoch covers for 2. Murdoch works the neck crank, HBK escapes and chops to Murdoch. A boot, chops and then rights by Murdoch. Chops by HBK, rights and then a Thesz press by HBK. Off the ropes and a flying forearm by HBK. Atomic drop, rights, a slam and HBK up topâ<80>¦and the elbow drop connects. HBK tunes up the Christian rock band and Murdoch drops down, no super kick, instead HBK goes for an inverted figure four and Murdoch taps. Well that was surprisingly new.
Winner: HBK @ 3:04 via submission
-Kennedy is on the big screen and talks about HBK’s ego. He knows HBK can’t handle the fact that he beat HBK, left him laying and passed him by. It is the law of the jungle, and HBK should accept that. Kennedy says he has nothing left to prove, but because he is kind and respect he has for HBK, he will give HBK one more day in the sun. Nest week, HBK gets his last great moment in wrestling when he faces the future, no, the present and future of sports entertainment, Mr. Kennedyâ<80>¦ HBK then super kicks Murdoch.
-We get highlights of WM 6, where Warrior left with the IC and World Title.
-JR and the King hype the Rumble.
-Vince is with Hornswoggle. Vince is proud, but concerned about Hornswoggle being in the Ruble match. He felt that Hornswoggle needs experience. They will have a mini-Rumble tonight, intervals and all. Hornswoggle will be #1, and #2 will be Mr. Kennedy. And then Mankind, and then Batistaâ<80>¦and then a surprise or two. If he succeeds tonight he has a shot to go to WrestleMania. But, that’s not to likely to happen. Hornswoggle is sad. Vince chokes him and says he is a McMahon, ANYTHING can happen! DON’T FORGET THAT! Poor Hornswoggle. Vince is still damn proud.
-JR and King hype the Mini-Rumble.
HHH vs. Snitsky
My God Snitsky is ugly. They are making HD jokes regarding Snitsky, who says they don’t read the Internet? Lock up and to the corner they go. Snitsky misses a right, rights by HHH and Snitsky back with a knee. Boots to HHH in the corner, Irish whip and a clothesline by HHH. Rights by HHH, off the ropes and a back elbow by Snitsky. He charges HHH, but he pulls down the ropes and Snitsky flies to the floor. We’ll head to a commercial @ 1:33.
We’re back from commercial @ 4:22 and HHH is working the arm. He takes HHH down with a kick and then delivers rights to HHH. Shoulder rams in the corner by Snitsky, an Irish whip and HHH hit shard and falls to the mat. Another whip and a side slam by Snitsky. He covers for 2. A slam by Snitsky, off the ropes and an elbow drop connects. Another and a cover for 2. Clubbing shots by Snitsky, HHH battle back and runs into a bear hug. Elbows by HHH as he tries to escape. Snitsky holds on, HHH powers out, rights to Snitsky, pump handle try by Snitsky, countered and a DDT by HHH connects. Both men are down now. The ref counts and they fight to their feet, off the ropes and a face buster by HHH and then the DOUBLE A Spine Buster! Snitsky counters the pedigree and sends HHH to the floor. Snitsky follows, tosses HHH to the steps and then tosses them aside. He lays HHH on the steps and grabs the other part, picks them up and HHH escapes that shot. He nails Snitsky with a chair shot and we have a DQ.
Winner: Snitsky @ 10:15 via DQ
-After the match THOR gets his hammer and nails Snitsky in the gut. PEDIGREE TIME.
-Vince is on the screen and says HHH is getting more violent every week since he isn’t in the Rumble. Vince tells him to calm down, take a chill pillâ<80>¦HHH then destroys the screen Vince was talking on. He then throws the hammer at the screen and we get EXPLOSIONS~!
-We’re back and see the destroyed screen, due to HHH’s rage.
-Vince and HHH meet backstage. Vince is mad at HHH. He asks what else HHH will do next week, or later tonight? Well, he has decided to put HHH in the Rumble match, not because he is scared, he’s back in as long as he wins his match next week. Vince looks to happy, bad news for the H’s.
~JBL’S SECOND COMING CELEBRATION~
We get balloons falling from the ceiling in grand fashion. Unfortunately JBL doesn’t equip “The Power of Pyro.” For months there was a campaign that someone was going to come and save the WWE, but it only tuned out to be Jericho. He stuck his neck out to save us, how is your neck Chris? We see clips of last week, where JBL choked out Jericho and drug him around the arena. JBL asks where out savior is now? At home where he should have stayed. Jericho realized that JBL loved domination, and when he drug him all around the arena it was like he was dragging each and everyone of us around. He knows Chris is watching, more over Chris because I want to talk to your children. Kids, you see what I did to your daddy? He just realized that there are people that are bigger, stronger and better. Look at the coward you call daddy boys, he is gutless. Spineless, I took all of the fight out of him. JBL doesn’t want to make it personal, but he wants Jericho to tell his kids that JBL is just better than their daddy, tell them you gave up, that you’re a coward. Because if you come to the Rumble, Chris, the savior that you want to be will need to be savedâ<80>¦from JBL. WAITâ<80>¦POWER OF THE PYRO HAS BEEN EQUIPPED~!
-There is a lot of smoke in the arena, I think it is on fire.
The “MINI” ROYAL RUMBLE: Hornswoggle vs. Batista vs. Mankind vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. ???
30-second intervals. Hornswoggle is #1 and #2 is Kennedy. MIDGET KENNEDY. He does the mic deal, but can’t reach it. The bell rings and Hornswoggle tries to toss Kennedy, dropkick and then misses a corner charge. #3 isâ<80>¦MIDGET MANKIND. Wow. Kennedy attacks him, JR sounds like he hates life right now. Mini-Socko now, blocked and Hornswoggle makes Mankind eat his own Socko. Hornswoggle press slams Kennedy to the floor. MIDGET BATISTA comes to the ring as #4. Spear by Batista. I think Mankind was tossed already as well, Hornswoggle counters the bomb, and #5 is MIDGET KANE. Uppercuts by Kane, but Batista gets a spine buster. Batista bomb on Kane. Hornswoggle tosses Batista. Kane sits up, uppercuts to Hornswoggle and he goes to the 2nd ropeâ<80>¦clothesline to Hornswoggle. Goozleâ<80>¦no chokeslam and Hornswoggle fights back and gets the Celtic Cross. He eliminates Kane. And now REAL Great Khali comes out. Batista attacks Hornswoggle and then runs. Khali grabs Hornswoggle, he runs and FINLAY is out. SHACKALAKCI attack! He beats the shit out of Khali and they brawl to the floor. Runjun tries to get the SHACKALACKI and Finlay grabs him and beats him down and tosses him to the floor.
Winner: NO ONE @ 7:25
-We’re back with a “technical difficulties” screen. They shoot to an HD commercial.
-Finlay is with Vince and grabs him. Vince says he has nothing to do with Khali showing up. Finlay says if he breaks the dealâ<80>¦but Vince yells at him and says he can blow off steam against Khali at Smackdown this week. Vince reminds him never to touch him again and not to mention the deal again. Finlay calls Vince a liar and leaves.
FLAIR’S CAREER ON THE LINE: Ric Flair vs. William Regal
THE BATTLE OF THE ROBES~! JIP with Regal working Flair’s leg. He grabs the half crab and Flair gets the ropes. Flair has the knee taped up and Regal lays the boots to Flair. Flair pulls him to the apron and snaps the leg off of it. Flair slams it off of the steel post, rolls back in and gets the chop block. Rights by Regal, side headlock but Flair gets the knee buster and the figure four. Regal fights for the ropes and gets them. Regal with a left, off the ropes and a roll up, Regal has the tights and the ref stops the count. Flair rolls up Regal, gets the tights and wins.
Winner: Ric Flair @ 2:13 via pin
-Regal yells at the ref after the match.
Next week – Raw in HD; Mr. Kennedy vs. Shawn Michaels and Triple H vs. an unnamed opponent in a Royal Rumble Qualifier
Intercontinental Championship â<80>” Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton