The world is watching.
We get a recap of last week’s Triple H/Ric Flair main event. The Ric Flair Retirement Tour continues!
William Regal wants to talk to Vince McMahon. Vince says not now. It’s the first Raw of 08 and we’re going to get something big tonight. It’s Raw Roulette! Anything can happen. Regal brings up the Hornswoggle thing from last week. He says he took Triple H out of the Rumble for Vince. He likes it and says it’ll be Triple H vs. William Regal. Vince spins the wheel and it’ll be a First Blood Match!
Regal goes into the corridor and Triple H jumps him. He beats the hell out of him until referees hold him back!
Raw just wants “â<80>¦To Be Loved.”
Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler welcome us to the show as always.
Shawn Michaels is here! He’s dressed to compete and we have a matchâ<80>¦
JR brings up Mr. Kennedy beating Shawn Michaels last week and we get clips. They coin Kennedy’s flatliner the “Mic Check.”
Mr. Kennedy is out now. He does his mic shtick but first Vince spins the wheel. It’s Strange Bedfellows! Michaels and Kennedy will team up! That’s next!
Shawn Michaels and Mr. Kennedy vs. Charlie Haas and Trevor Murdoch
Murdoch and Haas get no introductions. Kennedy works over Haas until HBK gets the blind tag. HBK boots Kennedy and tosses him to the floor then throws Haas outside! Haas goes under the ring and puts on a mask. He says “Now it’s time” and comes back in. He poses like a superhero but takes a flying forearm. Murdoch gets a clothesline from the apron. Murdoch in and hits a running big boot for a 2 count. Crossfaces from Murdoch and Haas back in. Murdoch hits a backbreak. Haas comes off the top, lands on his feet and drops an elbow. Michaes comes back and goes for a tag but Michaels hops off the apron. Shawn reverses a suplex and unmasks Haas. Flying forearm, kip-up, atomic drop, right hand, and another, atomic drop, knock down, scoop slam, top ropeâ<80>¦ picture perfect elbow connects! Sweet Chin Music to Murdoch! He tunes up the band and Kennedy tries to grab Michaels. Sweet Chin on Haas! Mic check on Michaels! Kennedy covers Haas and gets the win!
Winners â<80>” Mr. Kennedy and Shawn Michaels
We’re back in Mohegan Sun, Casino Arena!
Trading Places Match â<80>” Carlito (dressed as Hardcore Holly) with Santino Marella vs. Hardcore Holly (dressed as Carlito) with Cody Rhodes)
Carlito has the Holly mannerisms down. Holly has the worst afro ever. He has the apple too. This is tremendous. Carlito goes low and beats the afro off of Holly. Holly eats a back elbow and gets stomped. Carlito hits a suplex and gets 1. Into the turnbuckle now and Carlito fires off and hits a back suplex. Carlito hits a neckbreaker. Into the corner and Holly gets chopped as we get boring chants. Holly reverses and chops away at Carlito then hits a clothesline. Back body drop sends Carlito flying. Dropkick by Holly. Marella is on the apron. Holly spits apple into Carlito’s face and hits the Alabama Slam for 3!
Winner â<80>” Hardcore Holly
We get a recap of Randy Orton’ antics from last week.
T-Grish is with Jeff Hardy. Matt Hardy’s not doing good. Jeff has a message for Orton â<80>” he’s not only going to take the title, he’s going to take him out.
Tonight â<80>” Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga in a Steel Cage Match!
Hownswoggle is playing with the wheel and runs into Vince. The sound quality is awful here. I think says Hornswoggle will be in the Rumble. JR apologizes with the technical issues and they cut the segment off.
Up next â<80>” Lingerie Pillow Fight!
Earlier, Vince made a tag match pitting Hornswoggle and a partner of his choice against a tag team with the winners qualifying for the Rumble.
Lingerie Pillow Fight â<80>” Maria vs. Melina vs. Mickie James vs. Jillian Hall vs. Ashley
The heels try and hide under the covers but to no avail. Is there really any point recapping this. We get some nice bronco action from Maria. Melina gets spanked and powerbombed onto the bed. Maria and Jillian roll around on the bed. This is terrific. The heels work over Ashley now. Melina gets tosses into Jillian. Ashley hits an elbow on Jillian and scores the win.
Winner â<80>” Ashley
The faces clean house after the match.
First Blood Match â<80>” Triple H vs. William Regal
Triple H fires off on Regal who bails early. Trips follows and they brawl on the floor. Regal has knucks but Trips gets rid of them. Regal bounces off the announce table. More rights by The Fame. He utilizes the steel steps. He tosses the steps at Regal but he ducks and Triple H gets thrown into the ringpost. Regal tosses Triple H with a suplex and Regal undoes a turnbuckle. Triple H tries to fight back but gets tossed into the exposed turnbuckle. No blood. More rights from Regal. Regal goes to work on the face of The Game. Knee drop to the head now. Triple H blocks another shot in the corner and nails Regal a few times. Facebuster! Pedigree countered, catapult into the turnbuckle by Regal. Regal connects with a running knee. Regal goes to the floor and picks up the brass knuckles. Triple H gets a spine buster! Triple H kills Regal with right hands and draws blood!
Winner â<80>” Triple H
Handicap Match: Chris Jericho vs. Snitsky and John Bradshaw Layfield
Jericho chops away at Snitsky but gets killed with a clothesline. Big beale by Snitsky. He misses a boot and gets dropkicked to the floor. JBL knocks Jericho to the floor but Jericho tosses JBL across the announce table. JBL kills him the ring bell for the DQ.
Winner by DQ â<80>” Chris Jericho
JBL continues to batter Jericho outside. He chokes him with cables. He uses the cable to beale Jericho. He pulls him into a clothesline and drags him up the ramp way. JBL beats Jericho down some more and kicks him in the head. He tosses him into a steel structure and now JBL climbs it. He loops the cable over the scaffold to try and han Jericho but referees are here to break it up.
Royal Rumble Qualifying Match â<80>” The Highlanders vs. Hornswoggle and B.H. Jordan
This guy is so small. Mick Foley is here so it looks like Foley will be the real tag partner. Foley and Robbie lock up and they exchange rights. Foley gets a 2 count off a knock down. Horny in and stands on the toe. Kick to the head. Rory in and Horny gets caught. Foley breaks up a cover and Horny tags Mick. Rights to Rory, fast fists in the corner followed up by a running knee smash. Running knee lift. Robbie gets knocked off of the apron and Rory takes advantage. They nail the battering ram and an uppercut. They hit another battering ram. Foley low bridges Rory and Rory gets Socko. Double-arm DDT on Robbie! Tadpole Splash gets 3!
Winners â<80>” Hornswoggle and Mick Foley
Jeff Hardy v. Umaga in a Steel Cage
Orton comes down after both men, ready to watch the match with his own eyes.
Umaga starts off dominating until he misses a splash, with Jeff Hardy hitting a chinbuster. Umaga comes back after that with a kick that sends Hardy straight down. Umaga hits a punch that sends Hardy down in the same fashion. Umaga sends Hardy into the turnbuckle, but misses the splash as Hardy moves. Hardy hits a double stomp into a seated Umaga. Hardy begins pounding away on Umaga. Umaga tries to back body drop Hardy into the cage, but Hardy grabs the cage and almost escapes. Umaga pulls him back in, as Orton stalks Hardy outside of the cage, watching intently.
Umaga has Hardy down with the nerve hold, and we get a recap of Umaga hitting the blackhole slam on Hardy during the break. The nerve hodl continues for about 3 minutes until Hardy finally gets to his feet. Jeff Hardy bounces off the ropes, but catches a back body drop that dumps him against the cage and between the ropes and cage onto the apron. Ouch. Jeff is stuck between Cage and rope while Umaga slams Jeff into the cage. Umaga hits a big splash on Hardy against the Cage wall. Umaga goes for a cover, but Jeff puts his leg on the ropes. Orton asks Umaga if he wants some help, and throws 3 chairs into the ring. Umaga smacks Hardy with a chair, sending Jeff to the floor again as Orton cheers. Umaga covers and only gets a 2 count! Hardy is hanging tough! Umaga climbs the ropes, but Hardy meets him and racks him on the ropes. Hardy sets up a chair and leaps off the chair into Umaga, sabu-style. Jeff goes for the twist of fate, but Umaga pushes him away and hits a big uppercut that sends Hardy down again. Umaga puts Hardy into the corner, and Umaga sets up for the wrecking ball, but misses. Hardy hits a few fore-arms and spinning wheel kick. Then, Hardy grabs a chair and chucks it at Umaga. Jeff DDT’s Umaga on the chair and covers him, but the Samoan Bulldozer kicks out! Jeff calls for the door to be open, but Orton slams it shut, knocking Jeff Hardy back into the ring. Umaga covers, but Jeff still gets his hand up at the last minute. Umaga sets up for the Samoan spike, but Hardy kicks it away and hits the twist of fate to a HUGE pop from the crowd. Hardy goes to the top of the cage, but GOOD LORD he hits a Whisper in the Wind from TOP OF THE CAGE on Umaga and picks up the victory. Orton looks amazed as Jeff Hardy celebrates with the crowd.