We get the WWE intro video. We get a video package highlighting 15 years of Raw, featuring clips from the first episode and also past Raw themes remixed. This is awesome already. Fireworks and welcome to Monday Night Raw!
Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler welcome us to the show as usual.
Vince McMahon is here to kick off the show with Shane and Stephanie. Vince welcomes us to the show and it sounds like a good crowd for a change. Vince puts over the fifteen years of Raw, the longest running entertainment primetime show in history. Tonight will be a family reunion. Linda could not be here tonight due to some sort of intestinal problem. He puts over Shane as a former Hardcore and European champion. He puts over Stephanie as a former Women’s Champion and Daddy’s Little Girl. Vince calls for a photographer and Hornswoggle is here. He didn’t clean himself up like Vince had told him to last week. Shane has to pull Horny off of Vince’s leg as we get a “Hornswoggle” chant. Vince says they’re all waiting for him to die. He says he loves Shane and Stephanie. He “kinda” loves Horny too. He also loves the fans. Just before they take the photoâ<80>¦
Triple H is here. Huge pop for The Game. Vince wants to know what he wants. Triple H says he’s waiting for that pop to die down. Ha! This is supposed to be a family portrait with the entire family. He doesn’t think it is a secret any longer and these people know the score. Triple H feels like he is a part of the family, almost like he could be Vince’s son. “What’s up, Steph?” This is supposed to be about people Vince loves, so Triple H wants to bring out people he’s loved, so Triple H brings outâ<80>¦
Melina. This is great. There’s a lot of these apparently. Representing the past Divas, the original Diva, Sunny is here. Wow! She looks great and Horny likes her. It gets better. Mae Young is here now! The look Steph is giving her dad right now is priceless. Mae gives it to Vince, sort of. Vince says it was at Moolah’s funeral and he’d had a lot to drink. Wow, I can’t believe they went there. Shane is disgusted and leaves. “There goes the money.” Vince tells Steph he was thinking of her mom. Trips says anyone can do the pretty ones. The list he has goes on and on and on. Any WWE employee that has been mistaken for a woman and Mr. McMahon attempted to love, come out now. Howard Finkel, Big Fat Oil Guy, Bastian Booger, Pat Patterson, Abe Knuckleball Schwartz (the Brooklyn Brawler was busy tonight) and Gerald Brisco are out. Trips wants to take the picture. Stephanie says he has problems so Steph will embarrass him. Stephanie and Triple H make out! Wow! Oh my God! Steph! I love you! Triple H says “see you at home, oh, I mean you’re bother’s a gnome.” Vince says he hates Triple H and we can all go to hell. Vince leaves. Triple H consoles Hornswoggle.
Godfather is in the house! He’s bringing the Hoes! JR â<80>” “Even Paterson is smiling!” Hornswoggle is now happy. It’s time to hop aboard the HOOOOOOO TRAIN! They dance around Horny!
Intercontinental Championship Ladder Match â<80>” Jeff Hardy vs. Carlito
JR pimps Jeff Hardy vs. Triple H at Armageddon with the winner getting a title shot at Royal Rumble. Carlito rolls out and goes for the ladder. Hardy slides to the floor but Carlito moves and hits Jeff with the ladder. Carlito takes the ladder in and begins to climb. Jeff pulls him down. Clothesline by Carlito. Carlito sets the ladder up against the ropes and stomps on Hardy. He puts the ladder on Hardy in the corner but Jeff tosses it back into his face. Jeff slingshots to the floor to catapult the ladder into Carlito’s face but he moved. On the floor now and Carlito leans the ladder on the guardrail and tosses Jeff in. He dropkicks Carlito off the apron and into the ladder. Jeff gets a new ladder because they just broke one. He begins to climb but Carlito springboards and lands on the ladder! SUNSET FLIP POWERBOMB TO JEFF FROM THE LADDER! “Holy shit” chants as we head to the break!
We come back and Jeff is headed to the top. He leap frogs the ladder to nail a leg drop, but Carlito moves out of the way. Carlito works over the knees of Hardy with kicks. Psychology~! Carlito traps Hardy’s leg in between the ladder and stomps on the ladder. He roles to the floor and gets another ladder. He dumps that on the first with Hardy’s leg still in between it. He places the ladders on top of each other and slams Hardy leg-first onto them. Carlito climbs but Jeff recovers and brings him down. Chop block by Carlito on Jeff though. He puts the ladder in the corner. He lays Jeff out on the ladder and charges, but gets back body dropped onto the ladder! Jeff is up and goes to the top ropeâ<80>¦ SWANTON BOMB just connects! Jeff is selling the leg very well here. He sets up one of the ladders with another on the floor next to it. Carlito pushes the ladder, Jeff lands on his feet, goes for the Twist of Fate, reversed, BACKSTABBER ON THE LADDER! Carlito climbs now but Jeff goes up the other side. Carlito shoved off and lands on the top rope. Hardy grabs the gold and it’s over!
Winner and still Intercontinental Champion, Jeff Hardy
Todd Grisham is in the back with Shawn Michaels. Shawn was a part of the original broadcast; he defended the Intercontinental Championship. Last week, Kennedy used impersonators, one of which was Marty Janetty. The real Janetty is here and tonight it’ll be Kennedy vs. Jannetty. At Sunday, it’ll be Kennedy vs. Mr. HBKâ<80>¦
Raw Flashback â<80>” The Dudleyz powerbomb Mae Young off the stage, 1-2-3 Kid beats Razor Ramon, Austin and Tyson go at it, Donald Trump gives out money, The Rock and Trish makes out, Christian and Trish make out, Mickie and Trish make out, Lita and Edge make out, Lita and Matt make out, Candice and Vince make out, Regal kisses Vince’s ass, Val Venis gets his penis copee-chopied, Kane gets unmasked and lights JR on fire, a bunch of chair shots, a bikini mud match, Bischoff being announced as Raw GM, Austin and Edge both get tosses in the lake, Nitro gets brought by Shane, Vince blows up in the limo and Cena FUs K-Fed. Did you get all that?
Santino Marella and Maria are in the ring. He wants to honor the future, him. He made an open challengeâ<80>¦
Rob Van Dam is here! Yes!
Rob Van Dam vs. Santino Marella
Huge “RVD” chants. Santino goes low and gets kicked square in the head. Van Dam goes up top. 5 STAR FROG SPLASH and it’s done!
Winner â<80>” Rob Van Dam
Evolution remains constantâ<80>¦ Tonight, Ric Flair, Triple H, Batista and Randy Orton. This is Evolution. Tonight, they rock and roll. If you wake up one day lying in a hospital bed, Evolution just past you by! It’s up next!
Ric Flair is here, rockin’ the old “Gentleman’s Establishment” T-shirt. Triple H is next out. They all have their individual music by the way; no “Line in the Sand.” Batista doesn’t get half the pop Triple H did. All three men embrace. Interestingly, a referee is in the ring. Randy Orton is out to boos, and he’s the only one without and Evolution shirt. He’s not out here to join them. He’s the champ and he’s at the pinnacle of his career and they want to ride the coattails of his success. Last time he was champion, he recalls what happened. They show footage of Evolution beating down Orton following his world title win. Triple H does remember that, “it was pretty cool.” They didn’t beat him up because he was champion, they did it because he was a pain in the ass. If he was going to be remember as part of a group, he wants to be remembered as part of Rated RKO with this manâ<80>¦
Edge is here! Edge says after Sunday, Batista won’t have his title either. Batista wants Edge to come down to the ring. Edge says he’ll do it, but Flair says to shut up. He wants them to find a partner. They already went to Regal and got a tag team partnerâ<80>¦
Umaga is out now! They get ready to go to war!
Ric Flair, Triple H and Batista vs. Umaga, Edge and Randy Orton
Edge and Flair lock up and go to the corner. Edge pummels Flair and beats him down. Flair comes back with chops lighting up Edge. Edge reverses a whip and back drops Flair. Clothesline by Edge and a tag to Umaga. Umaga hammers away at the head of Flair. NERVE HOLD~! Worst. Move. Ever. I can’t tell if Flair is selling the move or yawning. Fans get behind Flair now who works his way up to his feet. Tag to Orton now and he tees off on Flair and takes him down. Garvin stomps now by Orton. High elevation knee drop gets a 2 count. Randy tosses Flair around and back drops him again. Flair avoids a drop kick and tags in Batista. He fires off on Orton and nails a clothesline. He takes Umaga off the apron and brings Edge in. Spinning side slam on Edge. Orton and the Game tee off. Simultaneous spinebusters on Edge and Orton! Umaga takes â<80>~em both down and manhandles the referee for the DQ. Batista saves Flair from a Samoan Spike.
Winners â<80>” Evolution via DQ
Edge and Orton run off leaving Umaga to take a low blow, spear and the Pedigree! Evolution stand tall and get a crazy reaction. Jeff Hardy is watching in the back. The fans love Evolution 2K7, apparently! Line in the Sand~!
Raw Flashback â<80>” Austin driving a beer truck, Austin driving on top of Vince’s limo, Hogan and the now crushing The Rock in an ambulance, Kane being taken into a trailer by Shane, Vince’s limo losing it’s axle, Austin driving a monster truck over Rock’s limo, Vince trashing Bischoff, Austin filling McMahon’s car with cement, Angle’s Milk-O-Mania, Edge parodying Flair’s Road Rage, Hurricane trashing the APAs office, Austin in a zambrini.
In the back, Hornswoggle is with Molly Holly! Mickie is there too. Regal shows up and sends them on their way. Vince has made a rematch for tonight â<80>” Hornswoggle vs. Khali and someone cancelled Finlay’s plane ticket so he won’t be here. It’s next!
So who’s going to save Horny? Austin? Hogan? We shall see. Horny goes between the legs. He gets caught by the jacketâ<80>¦
“When it comes crashing down and it hurts insideâ<80>¦”
Hulk Hogan is here! This could get real ugly. Bowling shoe ugly. They stare down and the fans chant for Hogan. Hogan hulks up and catches Khali’s chop but takes a boot to the gut. Clubberin’ time. Hogan hulks up, shockingly. FINGER POINT OF DOOM. Rights by Hogan and he drops Khali. Khali bails and Hogan stands tall. Hogan poses while Horny claps. Hogan has the mic now. He says Hulkamania is alive and well. He wants to thank the Hulkamaniacs and congratulations to WWE for reaching 15 years. There’s nothing like being in this ring in front of the WWE-maniacs. That’s a new one. He’s proud to have been invited tonight to hang with the guys in the back. Never say never. He’s on American Gladiators on January 6th and 7th. Shill~! He and Hornswoggle pose down.
15th Anniversary 15 Man Battle Royal â<80>” Participants: Al Snow, Bart Gunn, Doink the Clown, Repo Man, Steve Blackman, Pete Gas, Bob Backlund, Gangrel, The Goon, IRS, Flash Funk, Scotty II Hotty, Skinner, Jim Neidhart, Sgt. Slaughter, Gillberg
Gillberg is carried around by everyone and tossed. They all brawl and Backlund is gone. Al Snow gives Doink head and Doink is gone. Gangrel is gone and I’m sad. Flash Funk eliminates Al Snow. Pete Gas is gone, followed by Bart Gunn. Blackman and Funk go over together. The Goon is gone thanks to Repo Man. Repo tosses by the Anvil. Skinner dumps Anvil. Scotty, IRS, Skinner and Slaughter are left. IRS takes down Scotty but gets caught with his own briefcase. Here it comesâ<80>¦ W â<80>” O â<80>” R â<80>” M! Hits it! Scotty gets tossed by Skinner. Cobra clutch on Skinner. Skinner gets tosses. IRS from behind on Slaughter and we have a winner!
Winner â<80>” IRS
But wait, The Million Dollar Man is here! Ted DiBiase offers IRS money to eliminate himself. He puts the money in the briefcase and hops over.
Winner â<80>” Ted DiBiase
He grabs the mic â<80>” everybody’s got a price for The Million Dollar Man!
Eric Bischoff is here. It’s been a long time since he has had the opportunity to stand in the ring, and to be invited to be a part of this anniversaryâ<80>¦ he wants us to know how much it means to him. It reminds him that no matter how much they change, they always stay the same. It’s the same people that he has been seeing year after year. He wants to take the money out of our pockets. People like us will always depend on people like him to provide entertainment. The McMahon family will be independent on him to reinvent the business again. Bischoff invites them to stand up and applaud him. He gets booed.
“Save Usâ<80>¦ Break The Walls Downâ<80>¦”
Chris Jericho is here. JR brings up the history between Bischoff and Jericho. Eric tries to remember Jericho’s name. He brings up how he fired Jericho two years ago. WOULD YOU PLEASE, SHUT THE HELL UP! Jericho says he is still an asshole. He did fire him two years ago and he’ll never forget it. He made him realized he was a little burned out and during that time away he got a fire lit under him. He would come back and be better than ever. The time is this Sunday at Armageddonâ<80>¦ Y2J. Eric wishes him luck. Jericho wishes him luck with the hair cut and belly. Bischoff mocks the “second coming.” He tells Jericho to save the people some money by forfeiting the title match. Jericho says he could, or he could just beat Bischoff’s ass now. Right hand on Bischoff! He goes for the Lion Tamer but Orton is here. Jericho catches Orton and goes for the Lion Tamer! The Walls of Jericho is locked in! Orton is tapping! Jericho looks at the title and places it by Orton.
Dusty Rhodes is at ringside.
World Tag Team Championship Match â<80>” Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch vs. Cody Rhodes and Hardcore Holly
Cade and Cody start it off. Side headlock by Cadem knock down by Cade, clothesline by Cody. He works the arm of Cade but eats a leg lariat from Cade. Murdoch in and knocks down Cody. Clubberin’ time. Scoop slam by Trevor, followed up with an elbow drop for 2. Cade back in and he chops Cody. Elbow to the back of the heade now and a scoop slam. Cade misses an elbow drop and there’s tags on both side. Holly knocks down Murdoch a couple of times and gets a dropkick. He knocks Cade off the apron but gets caught. Cade misses Holy and takes out his own partner with a clothesline. Alabama Slam on Murdoch gets the win!
Winner and NEW tag team champions, Cody Rhodes and Hardcore Holly
Dusty celebrates with the new tag team champions.
Raw Flashback â<80>” The Divas â<80>” Sunny, Chyna, Sable, Trish, Torrie, Lita, Stacy, Candice, Ashley, Maria, Layla, Mickie James, Kelly, Victoria, Beth Phoenix, Melina
Jillian Hall has a Christmas album coming out tomorrow on iTunes. She wants to sing. The 12 Days of Christmas.
Trish Stratus is back! She looks good. Trish says she’s excited to be back. She likes seeing everyone like Lilian and King. Trish says it’s great that Jillian has an album. But it’s weird because she can’t sing. Jillian says Trish has a big ego and no one would disagree with that.
Lita is back! My night is complete. Trish and Lita staredown. Jillian eggs Lita on, but Lita takes the mic. She tells Jillian to shut up. Jillian buts in again and sings. Trish and Lita take her down and chop her in the corner. Trish and Lita embrace in the ring.
Raw Flashbacks â<80>” the funny moments. Bobby Heenan, Rikishi and the stinkface, Bang 3:16, Trish and Triple H, Rock and Hurricane, Jericho and Regal, Rock and Eugene, Edge and Christian on the kazoo, Pat Patterson, midgets, Stephanie’s breasts, Cena and K-Fed, Angle and Austin, Commissioner Foley stealing Rock’s catchphrases, Mark Kenry and Chyna, Goldust and Booker, Mae Young giving birth to a hand, Ron Simmons, the Flair Flop and Mr. Socko.
Lita was backstage watching the video package on a monitor, her marriage to Kane was highlighted. Lita turned around to see Kane standing there, they made awkward conversation about the weather and if they have gone to see any movies recently! Ron Simmons walks through and yells â<80><9c>Damn!â<80>
J.R. and King run down the Armageddon card.
Mr. Kennedy vs. Marty Jannetty
They lock up and Kennedy goes to the arm but gets drop toe-hold-ed. They work some brief chain wrestling and Jannetty gets a low dropkick. Kennedy comes back with an dropkick to the knee. Kennedy works a singe leg Boston crab as the fans actually get behind Marty who slowly crawls to the ropes. Kennedy keeps on the knee and gets a 2 count. Dragon whip by Kennedy gets 1. Kennedy slaps Marty who fires back but gets booted. Marty hits an enziguri and mounts a comeback with right hands connecting. Spinning back elbow connects and Jannetty gets 2 off of a suplex. He beats on Kennedy in the corner and hits the mounted punches but then gets turned inside out with a clothesline. Green Bay Plunge countered into the Rocker Dropper. Marty goes up to the topbut he gets crotched. GREEN BAY PLUNGE try, but Marty gets a sunset flip for 2. Kennedy comes back and hits a modified impaler for 3.
Winner â<80>” Mr. Kennedy
Kennedy continues the beat down and Shawn Michaels makes the save. Kennedy gets the upper hand and pummels Michaels. Triple H comes down for the distraction and Michaels tosses Kennedy. Triple H is decked out in DX attire and gives Shawn a DX shirt. They pose and do the cross chopping.
Up next; Mr. McMahon names the greatest superstar in Raw history.
– Backstage, Vince McMahon gets help putting his suit on as he is ready to come out next to announce the greatest Raw superstar of all time.
– We are back live and Vince McMahon is in the ring. Vince says, “Who is the greatest superstar in Raw history?” He asks for the fans to yell it out. Vince said whoever it is, they had to have made the single greatest impact on Raw ever. He asks for an envelope, opens it up, gets a drumroll…the greatest superstar in Raw history is…Vincent Kennedy McMahon! He starts thanking the little people when Mick Foley’s music hits.
Foley comes out dressed as Mankind. A loud “FOLEY!” chant starts up. Vince said Foley is jealous because he isn’t the greatest Raw superstar of all time. He tells Foley to leave, but Foley gives him the mandible claw with Mr. Socko.
The gong then hits and the lights go out. Flames come out from the entrance ramp, smoke fills the arena and The Undertaker appears. Undertaker gets to the steel steps, raises his hands and the arena lights come back on. Undertaker takes off his jacket and hat as Vince slowly raises to his feet. Undertaker hits Vince with a chokeslam as Undertaker stands over his body. Undertaker takes a knee and poses. The lights go out and Undertaker is gone.
The glass shatters and out walks Stone Cold Steve Austin. Austin does the two finger salute on all four corners. Austin grabs a mic while getting a huge reaction from the crowd. Austin says what a pitful sight. He thought about coming out here to congratulate Vince on 15 years of Monday Night Raw, drink a little beer, celebrate, but Vince is out here knocked out. Austin asks for two beers and proposes a toast to Vince. He said Vince isn’t looking so good, but he is so proud of him and 15 years of Raw. Austin lays down on his back next to Vince and says he is starting to feel a little dirty. He helps Vince to his feet. Vince gets to his knees and Austin tells him not to get any ideas. Vince finally gets to his feet favoring his neck. Austin hands Vince a beer. Austin salutes Vince, taps beers, Vince tries to drink his beer and does so slowly, gets a kick to the gut and Stunner. Austin calls for more beers and celebrates drinking them all. Austin then says the greatest superstar of Raw wasn’t on that card Vince read, but rather all the fans who show up in the arena and all the fans that watch live every Monday. Austin calls every WWE superstar out to the ring, past and present, to drink some beer and celebrate. They promote the card for Armageddon on the side of the screen as we see WWE superstars fill the ring to celebrate Raw’s 15th Anniversary. Vince gets back up on the ring apron to go after Austin and Austin knocks him out. Austin pours beer on Vince as the show goes off the air.
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