That being said, let’s start with some good points.
This one may catch a few of you off guard (if you watched this week’s episode), but I’m actually giving the Headliners section to the self-proclaimed “Wrestling God,” JBL.
Why, you ask? Well, a fellow writer here at Wrestle Zone may have inspired that one a bit.
Chris “The Authority” Schultz hit the nail on the head when he said that Cyber Sunday “was about as interactive as my pet rock.” In one example of that, he cited the choice fans have for the special referee in the World Heavyweight Championship match between Batista and the Undertaker.
Fans get to choose between JBL, Mick Foley and Stone Cold Steve Austin for the job. Naturally, Chris concluded that the fans would choose Stone Cold to step into the ring with the contenders and, naturally, I would have to agree. JBL, however, may have thrown a monkey wrench into the theory.
Tonight, JBL did an in-ring interview with the champ, Batista. He told Batista that, according to his sources, he was leading the vote tally at the moment. In response, Batista stated that he would tell him the same thing he would tell whichever man was chosen as the referee, “Stay out of my way.”
JBL stated that he wouldn’t be in the way and would call the match straight down the middle. But he went on to say that Batista’s problem wouldn’t be him, but rather the Undertaker. He noted that the match between them at Wrestlemania was epic – but that Batista lost and has never actually beaten the Undertaker.
JBL quoted Batista’s new book, where Batista wrote that he wanted people to know he could stand up to Taker, but noted that he didn’t write anything about beating Taker. JBL then said that Batista was afraid of Undertaker and that he couldn’t beat him.
Batista responded that he wasn’t afraid of Taker, or anyone else. JBL said “We’ll see at Cyber Sunday,” and the pair started to part ways. That is until JBL called Batista a coward.
The champ stopped cold, slowly turned to face JBL, and then promptly dealt out a spear to the “Wrestling God.” After a break from the action, JBL is back at the announcer’s table swearing that if he’s made the special referee he’ll make sure Batista doesn’t win his match against the Undertaker.
So now, the vote really does actually have an air of mystery. Will the usual wave of fans bring the beer-guzzling, ass-kicking, hell-raising Stone Cold to Cyber Sunday? Or, after tonight, will fans of Undertaker raise their voices and try to get a biased JBL to call the match?
Unfortunately, folks, I’ve got a few Smackdown! moments to throw into the Downsiders section tonight. Sorry, writers, but this episode just left me with a bad taste in my mouth.
We’ll start with what I began my column with, The Great Khali, who started tonight’s show by taking on Kane. It wasn’t completely one-sided, with Kane actually staggering Khali at one point with some hard fists and a top-rope flying clothesline. He even started to set Khali up for a chokeslam, but Khali elbowed his way out and clotheslined Kane over the top rope to the floor below.
Khali was disqualified shortly after for using cables to choke Kane, and the match actually came close to bringing itself out the my Downsiders list when Kane used the timekeeper’s bell to ring Khali’s.
But alas, it was not to be, as the pyrotechnic finish of Kane was interrupted by the man voted most in need of a shirt, Big Daddy V. (Ok, no one really voted for that. But I’d bet my paycheck he’d win such a vote.)
As Kane fought off a recovered Khali, V attacked and put Kane down with the “Ghetto Drop.”
Really, was it necessary to see both Khali and V in one segment?
The next honoree for this week’s Smackdown Downsiders has to be Drew McIntyre vs. Brian Major. The Brits watching this match had it right when they began chanting “boring.” You didn’t miss anything here, folks, if you’re reading this because you missed the show. McIntyre won the match, in case you’re wondering.
And finally, I must say I’m quite bored already with the antics involving Jamie Noble. So, he opens his mouth again, and gets put into a squash match again, this time against the Undertaker. The quickness with which Taker disposed of Noble may have just beat the time it took for Taker’s entrance.
This was a tough one tonight, with so many quality matches to choose from. And I hope you can detect the subtle sarcasm.
But I will give props tonight to Rey Mysterio and MVP for their first-ever match this week.
Before we get into the match, I have to point out one of the things I love about Mysterio. Yes, you all know I love those high-flying moves. But watch this man come to the ring. Exchanging Hi-5s, stopping to talk to the kids wearing Rey Mysterio masks – and it all looks genuine to me. You’ve gotta love it.
This match started off with a few of the normal exchanges, and Rey appeared to have it in hand quickly as he dropped MVP to the second rope for – you guessed it – the 619. MVP dodged the maneuver, however, and mounted an attack of his own. Rey ducked a charge by dropping the top rope, however, and MVP went toppling out and was quickly rewarded with a cross body from Mysterio.
As the pair ended up back on the ring apron, MVP picked Rey up and Gorilla press dropped him back into the ring, then nailed a big boot to send Rey out once again.
Back from the break, and MVP has Mysterio locked in the middle of the ring. Mysterio fought his way up, but a belly-to-belly throw by MVP ended that rally and resulted in a near fall. An attempt at the big boot to a cornered Mysterio would miss, however, and Rey would help MVP to the mat with a kick to his supporting leg.
Throw in a couple more off-the-rope maneuvers for Rey, and another near fall. MVP would quickly get a near fall of his own after a tilt-a-whirl slam, but missed another charging kick and got drop kicked to the second rope for what would be a successful 619 from Mysterio this time.
Rey missed his mark coming from the top rope, however, and MVP’s boot didn’t, earning him another near fall. MVP then set Rey up for the Playmaker, but Finlay had other ideas and pulled MVP from the ring and attacks him. Rey took MVP down with a baseball-slide kick, but was next to be attacked by the Irishman. Rey dropped Finlay, however, and after missing a 619 hit him with a huricanrana to end the melee.
– In case anyone cares, Matt Striker announced that Smackdown! fans would be seeing a lot more of Big Daddy V.
– Chuck Palumbo and Chris Masters locked it up again. Palumbo dominated early and even held Masters up for quite an impressive time while executing a suplex. He missed an elbow drop afterward, giving Masters the upper hand for a short bit. Palumbo got fired up, however, and looked to have the match well in hand when Victoria attacked Michelle McCool on the outside, giving Masters the distraction he needed to nail Palumbo from behind and roll him up for the pin.
– MVP and Matt Hardy had a segment backstage where MVP sucked up big time. Saying things like “I’m really startin’ to dig you,” and “we’re growing on each other,” the U.S. Champ was obviously doing anything he could to talk his way out of facing Hardy at Cyber Sunday.
– Hardy and Finlay had a decent match that seemed to get the crowd going. The bout was back and forth until Hardy put Finlay down with a running bulldog for a near fall, followed right away by a side effect for another near fall. Hardy went for the Twist of Fate, which Finlay escaped. Finlay got a near fall and then went for his shillelagh, but it was knocked away by MVP allowing Hardy to hit the Twist of Fate for the win.
– Deuce and Domino faced Jimmy Wang Yang and Shannon Moore, who Michael Cole appropriately referred to as “the Redneck and the Reject.” In what was actually a fairly short match, Yang and Moore controlled most of the action with their high-flying moves and picked up the win after Yang nailed Deuce with a moonsault from the top rope.
– The latest Save_Us.229 bit aired. Nothing changed from the one shown on Raw.
– The people eliminated Taryn from the Diva Search. What were they smoking?
Don’t like my take? Let’s hear yours! Send me your e-mails to firstname.lastname@example.org … the best and worst of the bunch may be featured in the weekly editions of Sean Oâ<80><99>Macâ<80><99>s Pullinâ<80><99> No Punches (found in the editorial section). Remember, short ones are good, long ones may be cut, and keep the name of the column in mind when you come looking for answers!
Have a news tip? Attended an event and want to send a live report?