Hello fans and welcome to today’s live coverage of WWE Monday Night RAW from the National Indoor Arena in Birmingham, England! The show will air in the United States tonight at 9:00 p.m. ET.
* The arena is pretty much full. Crowd noise is unreal.
* There is a cage above the ring.
* Heat will be taped first.
* All signs and banners are being confiscated at the doors.
* RAW announcer Lilian Garcia is present at the tapings.
* A WrestleMania 23 recap is shown.
Harry Smith defeated Carlito
* Mickie James defeated Melina
* Snitsky defeated Robbie Brookeside
* Jim Duggan & Super Crazy defeated Charlie Haas & Shelton Benjamin
* It looks like they will be having a Carlito’s Cabana on the show. They did some stuff about “best signs”, but since most of them got confiscated at the door, the crowd is booing.
* RAW opens with a backstage promo with Randy Orton complaining to William Regal about Cyber Sunday.
* The opening pyro hits and William Regal appears on the stage. It now appears that Randy Orton will face all three Cyber Sunday opponents TONIGHT.
* Randy Orton defeats Jeff Hardy
Santino comes out with Maria; insults Birmingham, England and the Condemned. That leads to Santino vs Val Venis; squash match with Santino winning by using the ropes.
Carlito backstage. More Hornswoggle stuff here, with Coachman chasing Hornswoggle… Vince is backstage with Regal, and Vince insults the Queen and so on. Next match is Ken Kennedy vs Orton.
Ken Kennedy is a massive babyface in Birmingham and gets a reaction to suit that. Orton v Kennedy is “quite boring” (surprise!), and the crowd aren’t into it at all. Kennedy hits his wacky Green Bay Plunge (don’t know whether it was on the mat or off the top rope), but Jeff Hardy attacks Kennedy for the DQ, hitting a swanton. Shawn Michaels appears on screen and gets the loudest pop of the night.
They played the Timbaland music video with all the Divas in… Andy Simmonz (British guy) is in the ring, and Vince comes out to a huge pop. They announce HHH vs Umaga for Cyber Sunday, with the first choice being a street fight, . Out comes Umaga, who destroys Simmonz in a street fight.
They announce choice #2: a first blood match. Umaga gives Simmonz a few Samoan spikes, and Umaga wins the first blood match between the pair. The final choice is a cage match: we now have Umaga v Simmonz in a cage.
Vince spent the series of matches calling Simmonz “HHH” (only the noses are similar). Simmonz took a lot of sick bumps to the head in the cage match – it’d be surprising if he didn’t have some sort of concussion after this. Umaga won, obviously.
Maria out for the kiss-cam as they change the canvas (I think there must have been lot of blood from Simmonz)…
There’s a skit with Coachman chasing Hornswoggle on bikes. Enter Ron Simmons, you know the rest.
Jillian Hall insults Lilian Garcia and sings the Spice Girls’ “Wannabe”. They plug Lilian’s CD, and Jillian v Candice is next. Candice wins with the Unprettier in three moves.
Backstage now with Cody Rhodes. Hardcore Holly walks up to him, and Cody says he just wants respect. Holly slaps Cody, and that match is on next.
Out come Highlanders to insult England… Cande and Murdoch come out for commentary as we have Brian Kendrick vs Rory McAllister. Rory wins with a slingshot suplex – dead crowd for a poor match.
No Mercy recap now, followed by Rhodes v Holly (they must have aired the “UP NEXT” pre-tape a little early).
But first, another series of distractions. Shawn Michaels promo saying he’ll kick Randy Orton’s teeth down his throat as he encourages people to vote for him at the PPV.
Another Hornswoggle promo, this time in the diva’s locker room, followed by “a long save_us.222 promo”. Hornswoggle reaches the ring, chased by Coachman who has a box of TNT, which doesn’t work. Hornswoggle goes under the ring, followed by Coachman. Hornswoggle “blows” the TNT… it was as bad as it sounded.
Regal annnounces (off camera) that the post show dark match is going to be HHH vs Umaga in a street fight…
Hardcore Holly beats Cody Rhodes with the Alabama Slam. Crowd was largely dead for that.
Main event is up next: HBK vs Orton. Shawn doesn’t look comfortable at all with his knees. Shawn wins in DQ after 5 mins – he hits an elbow off the top, but Kennedy runs in for the interference. Jeff Hardy comes out, and Raw ends with Shawn hitting sweet chin music.