We’re in Moline, Indiana. Hosts are Hall of Famer’s Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler. Smackdown tapes in Des Moines tomorrow.
PROMO TIME â<80>¢ Bob Lashley
He reminds us that he needs to beat Vince McMahon to get his ECW title back. He proposes a match tonight pitting Vince v Lashley. A long pause follows. Crowd bite on it with a “Bobby” chant and then VINCE MCMAHON shows up. Hey, no doorag this week. I guess he has enough hair now. He also has Shane & Umaga in tow. Vince rejects the match because Lashley had his return shot and didn’t get the job done. Vince says his next match will be at One Night Stand where every match will be no holds barred. He’ll be having a street fight with the Blue Meanie! Lashley wants to know why he doesn’t get a chance. Shane interupts to tell Lashley he’s blatantly not aware of who he’s talking to; the chairman of the board. Shane says Vince is “invinceable” in street fights with wins over Steve Austin, the Undertaker and Triple H in those matches. Not to mention Ken Shamrock, Shane and Steph. Shane tells Lashley if he wants a street fight he’s got it. Vince tacks on a stipulation though as Lashley has to qualify. Tonight Lashley runs the gauntlet.
RIC FLAIR v CARLITO
JR gets his big Skittles plug in. FRUITY, DELICIOUS, FRUITY, FRUITY, FRUITY. This is a re-match from Judgment Day last night. The 15 minute snoozer opened the show. It’s opening this one too. Carlito attempts a quick start but Flair picks him off with chops. Flair’s selling is a little wayward again. He sort of keels over and Carlito goes after that arm from last night. Nice to get some continuity with that. Carlito cranks at a short arm scissors and it’s nice he’s using something he didn’t use last night. Flair gets the ropes but Carlito puts the boots to the arm. Flair fends him off with chops. Carlito springboards but Flair ducks out of the way and clips the knee. That was the set up for the finish last night but it was about 11 minutes further into the match. Flair goes for the Fig Four but Carlito thumbs him in the eye. They both go over the top, Flair way before the contact, and the count seems very fast. Flair chops away and both guys are counted out at 4.02.
Winner: double count out. Told you that count was quick.
POST MATCH Carlito jumps an irate Flair and hits him with a pair of Backstabbers. That’d be the re-named Backcracker/Lungblower. Flair gets the apple spit for good measure.
MELINA PEREZ v CANDICE MICHELLE
This isn’t for Melina’s womens title. Lawler does a gag about Melina’s entrance breaking the elastic in his boxers. Candice’s “unusual” ring attire has changed slightly again. It’s like she’s wearing silk chaps. Candice gets her back stretched out and Melina drags on the hair for added leverage. JR talks about Candice’s improvements as a wrestler. I guess that’s true. Melina misses on the ropes and crotches herself. Candice kicks at her and hits a backbreaker for 2. Melina is back up so Candice clotheslines her and hits a dropkick. Melina goes to the eyes and Candice sells it wildly. Candice with a bridging pin at 2.52 and that gets it done.
Winner: Candice via pinfall. JR points out Candice has won four weeks in a row and should now be in contention for the women’s title.
BACKSTAGE Khali argues with his interpreter. JR talks about the controversy surrounding that match. His foot was under the rope if you missed the PPV and I didn’t point that out in my recap. I was really hoping it wouldn’t become relevant.
SHILL â<80>¢ we get clips of various TV shows interviewing Steve Austin about the Condemned. Regis Philben, Howard Stern and Sly Stallone put him over. I guess they’re trying to put a brave face on the box office problems. I notice all the guys they got to comment were people they’ve relied on time and time again for quotes. Stallone regularly whores himself out to Vince McMahon for coverage.
BOBBY LASHLEY v CHRIS MASTERS
Masters has not won too many matches of late but they have history because Lashley broke the Masterlock. Lashley manages to miss in the corner thus posting himself. That spot seems to crop up a lot doesn’t it? Lashley runs into it with his right shoulder, which is different. Masters has the attention to work the right arm. He calls for a quick finish with the Masterlock. It’s ON! Lashley broke this once but now he has a bad arm. Lashley channels the crowd noise and backs Masters into the ropes for the smart way to break the hold. Masters eats the powerslam for 2. Not the running one mind you. Spear. That does it at 3.21.
Winner: Bobby Lashley via pinfall. That’s match one down. I was figuring gauntlet meant one after another but it would seem further matches will take place later in the night. That’s rather lenient for Vince McMahon.
HARDYS v JOHNNY NITRO/KENNY DYKSTRA
Worlds Greatest Tag Team join us on commentary for this match. Or rather just sit by the commentators. Shelton lets Lawler know they’re out here to scout the tag champs. The heels pick off Matt and Nitro hits a slingshot guillotine over Kenny’s knees. Matt comes back with a desperation clothesline and in comes Jeff. Mule kick for Nitro. Corner dropkick gets 2. Gourdbuster and Jeff goes up top. Kenny stops him and that buys Nitro enough time to get up there. Jeff sunset flips him for the pin at 2.25.
Winners: Hardys via pinfall.
POST MATCH the WGTT jump in to give the Hardys a kicking but CADE & MURDOCH make the save. Jeff is less trusting than Matt at this stage with Matt appreciating the save.
BACKSTAGE Great Khali + Interpreter walk.
BACKSTAGE Great Khali + Interpreter walk.
PROMO TIME â<80>¢ Great Khali
Well, his interpreter anyway. Khali says he was cheated and never submitted. Apparently he knew his foot was under the rope so it doesn’t count. He was screwed by the referee. And the fans. And John Cena. We see some video footage from last night and only one of the three shots show the foot anywhere near the rope. Some creative camera work does the rest. Khali says Cena couldn’t knock him over. He had to use the ring steps. So Cena is a coward and Khali should be champion. Khali says he can beat Cena anywhere he wants to. JOHN CENA gets tired of hearing this and comes out here. Cena calls Khali an eight foot crybaby. Cena says that Khali’s foot was under the rope BUT Khali tapped out. Cena says he was afraid of Khali before Judgment Day because of losing the title and getting hurt. But he went toe to toe with Khali and survived. “I gotcha” says Cena. “I ain’t scared of you no more”. Cena runs his mouth too long and Khali goes for the chokebomb. Cena gets free but gets levelled with the big chop. Khali pulls him back up for the chokebomb.
BOBBY LASHLEY v VISCERA
Match #2 in the gauntlet challenge series. Once again Lashley must win or his match with Vince is gone. Vis is one of the few guys who can overpower Lashley and he shoves the former ECW champ over. Lashley picks apart his arm but gets batted down with the other. Lashley leapfrogs Vis and then slams himâ<80>¦for 2. Amazing to go from agility to power like that. Vis resorts to standing on Lashley. Black Hole Slam gets 2. Vis hammers away and then breaks out his rolling heel kick for 2. Vis calls for the big splash but Lashley moves and a spear finishes at 4.17.
Winner: Lashley via pinfall.
Out comes Torrie Wilson, Maryse, the Extreme Expose and Ashley Massaro come out here dressed in gear from some shop. They’re in the new Timbaland video. So they want us to see it. So we get the video for “Throw It On Me” by Timbaland w/the Hives. The video “pays homage” to Sin City, which I consider sacrilege when it’s a band I hate and a rapper who I hate more. The video is marginally better on mute. I pretty much hate the WWE for making me sit through that piece of shit.
PROMO TIME â<80>¢ Randy Orton
The commentators talk about Shawn Michaels concussion and how he’ll miss a lot of time perhaps never compete again. In actuality he has a knee injury and will miss 4-6 months. Orton says he regrets HBK’s wife having to see what he did last night. He then showed a video highlight package from Judgment Day featuring HBK’s HOT Wife Rebecca and her ass slips from the PPV. Orton thinks out loud that HBK has had his final match. Orton blames Shawn for not listening to the doctor and the ref. He was just being professional and taking advantage. He says the concussion had nothing to do with the outcome though. He won because he’s the Legend Killer.
BACKSTAGE Vince tells Umaga he’s Vince’s last line of defence now Lashley has been weakened.
BOBBY LASHLEY v UMAGA
If Lashley wins he gets Vince McMahon at One Night Stand in a street fight. If Umaga wins he doesn’t. Pretty simple. I think I just fell asleep with my eyes open because I just lost an entire minute at the start of the match. Looks like Umaga dominating. Lashley obviously fatigued from the last two matches. Lashley gets caught in a bear hug attempting a comeback. Lashley clubs his way out but runs into the Samoan drop. Umaga misses with a diving headbutt. Or maybe he winged Lashley with it. Hard to tell from that angle. Umaga charges but hits the ring post. Lashley fights back and shoulderblocks him out of the ring. Lashley dives off the apron but Umaga kicks him in mid air. Neat. Umaga has a chair and bashes Lashley with it at 5.52.
Winner: Lashley via DQ. Was Umaga supposed to get himself disqualified for no reason? I guess the lack of Estrada hurt his approach. Crowd is completely silent here.
BACKSTAGE Shane McMahon walks with Vince. The commentators speculate as to whether Lashley will now have another match. Oh with time remaining in the show and no main event booked? Ya think? During the final commercial break Umaga further kills Lashley with the spike.
BOBBY LASHLEY v SHANE MCMAHON w/Vince McMahon
Shane gives Umaga a thumbs up. Lashley is given time to get back up because of the more realistic officiating these days. Shane is able to take over quickly though with jabs. He cranks away at a chinlock around the ropes. Shane baseball slides Lashley into the ring post. Umaga goes nuts and Vince has to get some control over him before he gets Shane disqualified too. Umaga has this great look on his face of “but I want to him with the chair again”. Vince tells him to leave. Shane throws some more punches but Lashley side steps him into a roll up for 2. Lashley is back up with a second wind. Spinebuster gets 2. Shane floats over into a DDT for 2. Shane drops some elbows to the kidneys. Shane with a Boston crab. Lashley powers out. Shane works over the kidneys some more. Savage Elbow to the kidneys gets 2. Camel clutch from Shane. Lashley’s shoulders are so big Shane can’t get the usual level of torque on the neck area. Lashley stands up out of it and runs Shane into the buckles. Lashley hammers away but can’t get the Dominator because his back gives out. Shane goes back up top but dives into the spear and Lashley pins at 7.11.
Winner: Bobby Lashley via pinfall. Good finish.
Show ends there. See you in seven.