ECW December To Dismember Opener:
ECW’s December to Dismember opened with a video feature on the Extreme Elimination Chamber match featuring highlights of major moves from ECW stars with comments from Paul Heyman, Big Show, and others interspersed with the narrator. The show opened with a pyrotecnics burst that likely cost more than the entire financial budget of ECW’s first PPV, noly Legal. Joey Styles and Tazz welcomed everyone to the show, putting over the Extreme Elimination Chamber match. They then shot it over the Spanish Announce Team.
Referee: Scott Armstrong
MNM did their grand entrance, with Joey Styles saying this would likely be the one and only time they would ever compete together in ECW. That would certainly explain why they had new matching fur coats, complete with digital messages flashing across them. There was a big “Hardys” chant when they came to the ring.
Joey Mercury and Matt Hardy started the match, locking up and then shoving each other away. Hardy took Mercury down with a side headlock several times, going to the mat. The Hardys and MNM both faced off in the center of the ring arguing. There were some brief technical issues with the cameras freezing. The Hardys tagged in and out, working over Mercury, including a double wheelbarrow suplex. Nitro tagged in, but was soon on the receiving end of The Hardy’s offense as well. Hardy went for a jawbreaker but Nitro broke it. MNM hit a double reverse elbow on Jeff Hardy. There was a slight, “She’s a crackwhore” chant at Melina.
Nitro went for a standing moonsault press but missed. Matt tagged in and began unloading on Nitro. Hardy hit a Splash Mountain out of the corner but Mercury broke it up. He rebounded off the ropes but Melina tried to trip him. Matt went out of the ring but was hit by Mercury. You’d think Hardy would know to ignore women in wrestling by now. MNM hit a gutbuster on Matt. WWE’s production team appeared to mute a “She’s got herpes” chant. Nitro received a two count on Hardy and then distracted the referee. Melina worked him over from ringside. Nitro hit Jeff, forcing the referee to push him back into the corner. MNM worked over Matt while the referee’s back was turned, but only received a two count. MNM went for a double suplex but Matt landed on his feet and hit a neckbreaker on both. He crawled for the tag, but MNM knocked Jeff to the floor and continued beating on Matt. Mercury went for the Twist of Fate but Matt shoved him into the corner, where Nitro was standing on the top rope. Nitro was crotched. Jeff Hardy tagged in and hit a ton of offense on Mercury. He nailed a low legdrop but Nitro broke up the pinfall. Hardy spiked Nitro on his head. Matt hit a clotheslines over the top on Mercury, then dove outside. The fans chanted “ECW.” Nitro then did a running tope. Jeff went to the top and dove off all three. The fans chanted, “Holy shit”.
The Hardys tossed MNM back in the ring. Matt hit the Twist of Fate on Mercury. Jeff went for the Swanton, but Nitro broke it up. He dragged Matt out of the ring and slammed his head into the apron. Nitro hit a missile dropkick on Jeff for a two count. Nitro brought Jeff into MNM’s corner and began working over his back. MNM hit a double slingshot on Jeff, sending him into the turnbuckles. Mercury locked on a surfboard style move as Jeff tried to work his way to the ropes to force a break. Mercury continued to onslaught. MNM sent Hardy into the corner again. Nitro tossed Jeff to the floor where a waiting Melina kicked Hardy in the gut. Mercury joined in. Hardy was tossed back into the ring, where Mercury got several two counts. He continued working on Hardy’s lower back. MNM did the old Demolition finisher. Matt Hardy broke up the pinfall. Mercury worked over Hardy with a rear chinlock. Hardy fought to his feet. Mercury rolled up Hardy but Hardy kicked out, sending Mercury out of the ring in the process. Jeff went to make a tag but Mercury attacked Matt from the floor, preventing the tag yet again.
MNM continued the assault until Jeff was able to dive off the top with the Will O’The Wisp turning moonsault press. He tagged Matt, who cleaned house with punches and clotheslines. He hit a running clothesline on Nitro in the corner and bulldogged him, clotheslining Mercury at the the same time. Hardy hit the Side Effect on Nitro for a near-fall. He went to the second rope to hit his trademark legdrop, getting another close near-fall. Jeff went to the top and Matt brought Nitro over for a powerbomb. Mercury attacked Matt, then gave Nitro some momentum, allowing him to hit a hurrancanrana off the top on Jeff. All four brawled in the ring. The Hardys hit stereo superplexes on MNM. Melina tried to slap Jeff, but he grabbed her arm. Nitro went to dropkick Jeff, but he sidestepped. If you are reading this anywhere but PWInsider.com, why are you supporting lazy cut and paste idiots? Melina was hit in the face by the dropkick and took a bump from the apron to the floor.
Jeff caught Nitro with a nearfall. MNM grabbed Jeff and hit the Snapshot, but Matt Hardy interfered to save the pinfall. The crowd began chanting, “Hardys.” MNM tried to set up a top rope snapshot but Matt broke it up. He hit a double neckbreaker on MNM and laid them atop of each other. Jeff Hardy hit the swanton bomb off the top on both and scored the pinfall. A really good opening match that told a story, had some great near falls and fun wrestling. A great way to start the PPV.
Winners – The Hardy Boyz
Rob Van Dam:
Rob Van Dam, in a pre-taped segment, said that he understands the risks involved and that he’s going to end up with scars on his body. He says that the ECW title is worth the risk and when you think ECW World champion, you should think Rob Van Dam.
In the arena:
Matt Striker made his way to the ring. He took the mic and insulted the crowd. He asked the fans if they wanted to see him in Extreme Rules tonight. They cheered. Striker said we’d see “Extreme Enforcement of the Rules” and that tonight’s match would be under Striker’s Rules. He ran down a number of rules, including no moves off the top ropes and challenged Balls Mahoney to see if he can wrestle.
Mahoney and Striker started off with Mahoney outwrestling Striker and locking in a crossarmbreaker. Striker made his way to the ring. Striker attempted to go for a test of strength, then nailed Mahoney. He was whipped into the corner but escaped, so Balls hit the corner with his shoulder.
Striker went right after the arm, working over it with an armbar of sorts. Striker used some hairpulling to take Mahoney down. Striker continued the assault, getting several near-falls. Striker continued focusing on Balls’ arm. Striker whipped Balls into the corner, but Balls fought back as Striker charged. Balls unloaded with a series of punches. Striker tried to take him down with an armbar, but Mahoney escaped and continued nailing jabs. Mahoney went to the top rope, but Striker shook the ropes, forcing Mahoney to crotch himself. Striker nailed a rolling Fujiwara armbar. He cinched back hard on it, including a bridge. Mahoney teased that he was going to tap out but made it to the ropes with his leg.
Striker went for a sideheadlock but Mahoney nailed a belly to back suplex. Mahoney made a comeback with a backdrop, with Striker nearly landing on his head. Mahoney peppered him with punches, finally taking him down. The fans did the traditional “Balls” chant with each punch. Balls hit a sitdown spinebuster for the pin.
Winner – Balls Mahoney
Backstage, they showed CM Punk preparing backstage.
They then went to a scene of EMTs working over an unconscious Sabu. Paul Heyman arrived on the scene demanding to know what was happening, saying he was competing tonight. They began loading Sabu on a stretcher. The live crowd began loudly chanting, “Bullsh**” which was greatly muted on the PPV production. According to those at the PPV, the crowd is much louder than it is coming across via the broadcast.
Referee: Mike Posey
Elijah said that for the first-time ever, it was the Elijah Burke Experience on PPV. He said he and Turkay were ready for a fight. The FBI came with Trinity. Interesting to note that the official T-shirt for the PPV lists Burke vs. Al Snow on the back, so that was the plan at one point.
Little Guido started with Burke. Guido ended up stealing Burke’s hat and putting it on. Mamaluke tagged in and worked over Burke’s arm. Turkay tagged in and immediately began destroying Mamaluke with knee strikes. Turkay charged the corner but Mamaluke ducked and he hit hard. Guido dove off the top but was caught. Turkey kicked Mamaluke out of the ring, then tossed Guido out of the ring atop of Mamaluke. Burke tossed Guido back into the ring.
As the match continued, Tazz and Styles discussed what may have happened to Sabu, given what a tough competitor he is. Turkey and Burke continued to work on Guido. Mamaluke broke up a pinfall attempt. Guido began fighting back and ducked a kick. Mamaluke tagged in and began cleaning house on Burke. Mamaluke even took down Turkay with several kicks and a dropkick to the face. The FBI hit a double flapjack on Burke for a near-fall.
Burke sent Mamaluke into a Turkay forearm. Mamaluke stagged into Burke, who nailed the Elijah Burke Experience (Jeff Jarrett’s Stroke finisher) for the pin. Guido returned to the ring to look over Mamaluke. Turkay grabbed him and hit a muscle buster. As he set up the move, you could clearly hearing a fan screaming, “TNA! TNA!”
Winners – Elijah Burke and Sylvester Terkay
Backstage, Sabu was being loaded into an ambulance. CM Punk and Rob Van Dam were on the scene watching and questioning what happened.
Referee: Scott Armstrong
The ring announcer didn’t even call Dreamer “The Innovator of Violence.” Wow. The fans chanted ECW at Dreamer. Daivari sent Khali to the floor. Daivari tried to attack Dreamer but retreated. Dreamer had words with Khali, allowing Daivari to jump him from behind. Dreamer hit a big hiptoss and Daivari retreated to the floor. Daivari returned and Dreamer took him down with an armbar. Daivari reversed it and poked Dreamer in the eye. He knocked Dreamer to the apron and hit a baseball slide on Dreamer.
Back in the ring, Dreamer caught Daivari with a suplex. He rebounded off the ropes but Khali pulled the ropes down and Dreamer spilled over to the floor. The referee threw Khali out of ringside as Daivari freaked out. Daivari sent Khali to the back and tossed Dreamer back into the ring. Daivari worked over Dreamer with a rearchinlock. Live, there was a “We want hardcore” chant that was muted by the PPV broadcast. Dreamer began battling back with elbows but Daivari took him back down. Daivari scored a nearfall after working over Dreamer’s neck and back. Daivari locked in a sleeper on Dreamer. All this offense feels like a 1980s WWF Superstars match. Daivari wrapped his legs around Dreamer with Tazz saying he was going for a rear naked choke. Dreamer dropped backwards with an Electric Chair like move. They both got back to their feet with Dreamner unloading with a ton of offense.
Dreamer backdropped Daivari, then hit an inverted DDT for a near-fall. Daivari elbowed Dreamer in the face as he charged. He went to the top. Dreamer followed him but was shoved off. Daivari went for a splash but Dreamer moved. Dreamer tied Daivari to the tree of woe and hit the running dropkick to Daivari’s face. The place yelled “ECW” with Dreamer and started chanting ECW after the move. Dreamer went for his DDT. Daivari rolled up Dreamer and hooked the tights for the pin.
Winner – Daivari
Dreamer followed Daivari back up to the stage, where Khali grabbed him and slammed Dreamer down on the steel stage. They showed Khali and Daivari lurking above the unconscious Dreamer, showing several replays of the bump. Dreamer was telling the EMTs that he couldn’t feel his feet. After a few minutes of selling, he made his way to his feet, fighting to regain his balance. The place began chanting “ECW” as he showed them respect.
Backstage, Paul Heyman came to Hardcore Holly and explained that Sabu was hurt and may not be in the Elimination Chamber. He told Holly that tonight, he would be Sabu’s replacement in the Extreme Elimination Chamber. He told Holly that it would be every man for himself and that he would be looking forward to Holly in the Chamber tonight.
Mixed Tag Team Match
Kelly Kelly took the mic and said she wanted to wish CM Punk good luck tonight. There was a “Punk” chant live. Knox wasn’t happy with Kelly. Holy crap, Ariel looked beyond hot.
Thorn and Knox started off. It appeared Knox is growing his hair out, which is good as he had a way better look when it was longer in Deep South Wrestling. Fertig had a new red outfit. Fertig cleaned house with a series of moves, following them up with kicks to the back. They did a lot of gratuitous shots of the women in the corners.
Knox took down Thorn by the hair and hit a running lariat clothesline. Thorn came back, working over Knox in the corner. Knox slammed Thorn for a two count. Ariel was really vocal in the corner screaming, trying to get the crowd into the match. Knox had Thorn in a front facelock with Thorn finally pushing him into the corner. Thorn tagged Ariel in. Arial’s no ass is out and we’ve got 11 photos below. Wow, uncensored shots. She demanded Kelly be tagged in. Kelly looked worried but then tagged in. Kelly charged but was kicked in the stomach. Her bump was amateur hour. Ariel began pulling her hair and grabbing at her. Ariel kept stomping and chopping her. She choked Kelly with her foot in the corner. Kelly looked extremely out of place in the ring. Ariel missed a charge in the corner. Kelly struggled to make a tag but Ariel cut her off and hit an elbow.
Kelly tried to make a tag, but Knox looked at her and walked off. The announcers said Knox set up Kelly after the last few weeks by booking her in this match. The crowd began chanting for CM Punk. Ariel began choking her and hit something of an STO, scoring the pin.
Winners – Kevin Thorn and Ariel
Tazz called Knox a “son of a bitch” for dragging Kelly Kelly into this instead of just leaving her like a man. Ariel continued to destroy Kelly. Sandman’s music hit and he made his grand entrance from the crowd. The crowd was into Sandman big-time live. Thorn tried to hit Sandman with his walking stick but Sandman evaded and caned the hell out of Thorn. The fans chanted “ECW”. Thorn escaped up the ramp but Sandman pursued him, caning Thorn the entire way back. Sandman cracked open a beer on the stage and celebrated.
Rebecca interviewed Bobby Lashley backstage. They aired a Lashley package, showing how Paul Heyman has had it out for Lashley since he debuted. Lashley said he was “One Man, One Mission, ECW World champion.”
They showed Test, Hardcore Holly, and ECW champion Big Show walking with Paul Heyman in the back.
In the arena:
Paul Heyman made his way to the ring with his security force. Heyman put over how intense the Extreme Elimination Chamber was saying, “It’s one things to make plans for it. It’s another thing to stand under it.” He praised himself, saying Hulkamania will die with Hulk Hogan, The “Whoos” will die with Ric Flair, but ECW will live on long after Paul Heyman is dead. I think a lot of people will be surprised if ECW is alive a year from now. He said that Sabu missed his chance to take part in the Chamber and the day of Sabu, Sandman, and Rob Van Dam is dead and over. He said 2007 is the rise of the global phenomenon ECW, led by The Big Show. He said tonight will be the crowning of Big Show’s career and called for the Chamber to be lowered. The match will start with two competitors in the ring and four in the pods with weapons. Sfter five minutes, a new competitor will be released. Another competitor will follow every five minutes after, with competitors eliminated by pinfall or submission. If WWE wants this show to be fondly remembered, they will need to lay it all on the line here, as the rest of the card (minus the opener) has felt like filler while waiting for the main course, which is hardly what ECW was ever about in the past.
Extreme Elimination Chamber Match for the ECW Title: The Big Show vs. Test vs. Hardcore Holly vs. Rob Van Dam vs. CM Punk vs. Bobby Lashley.
Big Show enters first, and is secured into his pod with the baseball bat wrapped with barbed wire. Punk enters next. He enters the pod with a chair. Test enters third, and his pod contains the crowbar. Lashley is in the last pod, his contains a table. The match will begin with Rob Van Dam against Hardcore Holly. The first pod opens at the five minute mark. The heels are playing up that they are working together as Heyman looks on in agreement. Next in is CM Punk and his steel chair. Its now Punk vs. RVD vs. Holly, as no one has been eliminated. Punk threw the chair at RVD, but RVD grabbed it and slammed it into Punk. RVD is the first to juice, as he’s bleeding above his eye. After another five minute interval, another man will enter the match. Next man is Test with his crowbar. Test goes after RVD’s open cut with the crowbar. RVD grabbed the chair and hit Test and Hardcore Holly, and then slams into Punk’s face in the corner. RVD hits the five star frog splash, and pins him at 12:24. Test eliminates Hardcore Holly, and then jumps off Big Show’s pod and lands on RVD with a chair on top of him, eliminating RVD at 14:00. Test remains alone in the ring, awaiting either Lashley or Big Show. Lashley is to come in next, but his pod will not open thanks to Heyman’s personal security. Lashley grabs the table and punches a hole in the open of his pod, freeing him to enter the match, so its Lashley vs. Test with the Big Show still in his pod. Lashley spears Test at 19:39, and pins him. Test is gone, so its down to Big Show vs. Lashley. Big Show’s pod opens, and enters the ring with the barbed wire match. Lashley blocks his swings with the chair. Big Show’s bat gets caught in the chamber. Lashley throws Big Show into a pod, busting the champ’s head open. Lashley blocks a chokeslam attempt with a DDT. Lashley spears the Big Show at 23:42, winning the ECW title!
Lashley leaves the ring with the belt as pyro goes off, and the PPV ends at 10:18. Huh?