Event: WWE Monday Night RAW Results
We begin the show with highlights of last week’s WWE Title match, where Edge became a 2-Time WWE Champion.
Lillian Garcia introduces the NEW WWE CHAMPION…EDGE! He and Lita make their way to the ring. There is a SPECIAL Rater R Super Star announce table at ringside! It is all mangled, with chains and shit on it, it looks great. Edge and Lita are joining us for commentary! Edge says he is here to get some extra insight on things
John Cena vs. Shelton Benjamin
Lock up and a side headlock by Benjamin. Cena reverses it, off the ropes and a shoulder block takes Benjamin down. Cena tries an FU, Benjamin escapes and slaps Cena. Big Yakuza by Benjamin and then rights to Cena. More rights and then knees by Benjamin. Cena fights back, Irish whip and Cena misses, Benjamin tries to suplex him to the floor, but Cena brings him in and Benjamin gets a neck breaker for 2. Benjamin chokes out Cena now, and then gets a snap suplex for 2. Rear choke by Benjamin now, Cena to his knees and stands up, escapes and off the ropes and Cena misses a cross body. Elbow drops by Benjamin and a cover for 2. Benjamin back to the rear choke. Cena stand sup with Benjamin on his back, chair drop by Cena! Cena covers for 2. Cena goes up top…he stares at Edge and Benjamin leaps to the top and gets an Enziguri that sends Cena to the floor. We head to commercial @ 4:12.
Back from commercial @ 7:02 with Benjamin working the choke again. During the break Benjamin lit up Cena with a sweet knee lift. Cena battles to escape the choke, to his feet and Benjamin rides his back. Cena rams him to the corner, but Benjamin holds on. Back to center ring and Cena to his knees. Once again he gets to his feet, escapes and they exchange rights. They boo Cena’s punches as Cena levels Benjamin with clotheslines. PROTO BOMB! 5-Knuckle Shuffle coming…connects. Cena stalks Benjamin…snags him up…FU countered into a Samoan drop by Benjamin for 2! Rights by Benjamin, off the ropes and Cena counters and Benjamin with knees. Irish whip and Benjamin misses the corner splash. FU! STFU locked in and Benjamin taps.
Winner: John Cena @ 11:01 via pin
After the match Cena jumps the announce table and he and Edge brawl! Cena tosses him in the ring and Lita grabs his leg so Edge can get an advantage, and fires away on Cena. Edge with crazy rights to Cena…IMPAILER DDT by Edge! He sets and waits…SPEAR on Cena! The WWE Champion stands tall over John Cena. Edge has a mic and says they would rather be somewhere else. They are going to the hotel and will watch the show from there. He’ll see Cena Saturday.
Back from commercial as we get clips from before the break.
Live in the backstage area and we are awaiting the arrival of DX, who are welcomed into the building this week. We get a video package of the Hi-jinks of DX last week.
We see Torrie, Eugene and Snitsky laughing at the package. Eugene is busted as Vince and Shane appear. Eugene says it was funny, and Vince is pissed. Vince tells Eugene to SHUT UP! Vince and Shane will team up tonight, and they will face Eugene. Shane says Eugene gets the honor. Vice tells him good luck and Eugene is worried.
Trish vs. Melina is next.
Back from commercial as Melina and Nitro make their way to the ring. I approve of Melina’s ring gear.
Trish vs. Melina w/Johnny Nitro
Lock up and Melina shoves Trish aside. Lockup again and Trish tosses Melina down. Melina tries to run and Trish has her hair. Melina nails her and then tosses Trish to the floor. Trish pulls Melina to the floor Nitro distracts Trish and Melina beats her down on the floor. Back in the ring and a dropkick by Melina gets 2. Rear choke by Melina and then some hard cross faces. Back to the choke, Trish battles out and Melina with a front facelock now. Suplex countered and Trish gets it and covers for 1. Kicks by Melina, off the ropes and Melina works the back of Trish in the corner. Melina to the 2nd rope…Trish nails her and tries and gets the handstand RANA. Forearms by Trish, corner clothesline and then chops by Trish. Handstand into the whirly head scissors by Trish. Spine-buster and Trish covers for 2. Stratus-faction try, countered and Trish nails Nitro, but Melina rolls up Trish with the tights and gets the win!
Winner: Melina @ 4:10 via pin
Nitro and Melina attack after the match but Carlito is here to make the save. DOUBLE THEZ PRESS by Carlito and Trish and then a double dropkick by them and Nitro and Melina run. Make the tag match for SNME already. JR says the match is made.
We see Edge and Lita at their hotel. Edge harasses the hotel clerk about his room. The room is not ready, but they can apparently wait in the bar. Edge asks if it gets USA, and they are off to watch the show. Edge sends Lita to the bar while Edge tells him he is a goof while he is a champion. Get his keys ready and then come and get him!
Back from commercial and we see the parking lot again, as we await DX’s arrival.
We see the Diva Search chicks getting photos taken.
The Highlanders (Rory and Roby) vs. Matt Striker and Rob Conway
Rory on the mic and he introduces themselves. They have discovered corn. Roby found out that…Matt Striker stops them as he and Conway want a rematch.
Matt and Rory to begin, take down by Matt and then a go behind toss. He works the mat and gets a cover for 2. Conway tags in now, and they lockup, elbows by Conway and then rights to Rory. Rory grabs him and rams him to the corner. Irish whip, and Rory with an elbow to Conway. Rams him to the corner again, and tags Roby. Battering ram to Conway for 2. Roby misses a shot on Matt and Conway with rights on Roby. Dropkick to Conway, Rory puts the kilt on Conway’s head and mocks him. Tag to Rory, off the ropes and a double team shoulder block. Scott-Drop finishes it as Striker refuses to help.
Winner: The Highlanders @ 2:45 via pin
We see Ric Flair walking. Maria is here, and asks him about Foley. Flair says he likes pleasure, but tonight is business. Tonight, he tells us all the truth about Mick Foley.
Back from commercial as Ric Flair comes to the ring.
Flair: Woooooooooo! Mick Foley…the truth is…at Vengeance you challenged me to a classic wrestling match. 2 of 3 falls, truth is I kicked your ass 2-straight. Truth is I proved beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you are nothing more than a glorified stunt man. Truth is…
Foley on the Tron. In return for claims you made against me. You say I always took the easy way out. Coming from a guy that talks out of his ass, while drunk and then having a ghostwriter do your work is funny. Considering I wrote mine by hand and was a #1 best seller. Back in Germany in 1994, you were my boss, you were in charge. I got my ear tore off and I got back in the ring and did my job! A referee gave it to a ring announcer, and it was given to you. You said to put it ice, and then you saw me still wrestling. I traveled 1000 miles and slept in my car, eating PB&J until I puked, and then you accuse me of not being a wrestler while you made matches grabbing another man’s genitals. Tell me this Ric, how much worse could those bad asses messed you up than I did? FIND SOME NEW CHICHE’S YOU WASHED UP HACK! You no linger matter to me Ric, you brag about your 16-titles. I got titles of my own, I am a legend, 3-time WWE Champion, 2-time Best selling author by HAND! I have been interviewed by Katie Couric and am a personal friend of Melina. You are a used up piece of crap and you get NO rematch!
Flair: Foley would you quit crying about the past! Get your ass out here today and let’s go hardcore! I will stomp your ear to the ground!
Paul Heyman makes his way to the ring!
Heyman: Mr. Flair, pardon the interruption, but we have talked, Foley and I. You keep making the same mistake over and over again. You see, you keep lumping everything into one category. Well, I prefer to call it Extreme Entertainment. Surely, you know that there is a new ECW champion, as you can see tonight.
The footage runs of Big Show winning the ECW title.
Heyman: Mr. Flair, it is my honor to introduce to you the new ECW champion, the Big Show.
Big Show is out in a PIMP suit. Dress like a champion baby!
Big Show: Ric Flair…wooooo! 16-time world champion, Ric Flair. Some would say the greatest champion of all time. Until now. I am the only man to hold the WWE, ECW and WCW titles, something you have never done. You see, I got to wonder, do you have it in you for one more time…one more. I cane out here, because you were talking extreme, and nothing is more extreme than coming to ECW to face me. Tomorrow night, you come to ECW and we’ll have a title match for my ECW title. Do you have one more in ya?
Flair: I accept.
Flair and Show stare down, Paul calls Flair a son of a bitch and Show grabs Flair and gives him the Cobra Clutch back breaker and toss!
We see Vince and Shane discussing DX and Shane has a bat. Eugene is here and he came to say he is sorry. He didn’t mean to make them mad. They say they aren’t mad at all. Eugene is ok now. They have a present for him and they were going to find him. They have a new DX shirt for Eugene. Shane then pours green paint on Eugene, since green is his favorite color. Vince yells at him and then slaps him. Shane attacks and they beat him down in the locker room. Shane gives Eugene a swirly in the toilet to wash him off as Vince flushes. Vince tells him to tell DX that the fun is over.
Back from commercial and we get a replay of the Big Show/Flair altercation. On WWE Unlimited, Paul Heyman invited Candace to have a dance off with Kelly. She wants to dance WITH Kelly.
Viscera vs. Charlie Haas
Lock up and Viscera tosses Haas across the ring. Headlock by Haas, off the ropes and Viscera levels him. Chops by Haas as Lillian looks on concerned. Viscera steps on Haas, collapsing his ribs. Hass with rights now, fires away but Viscera tosses him off. Clothesline by Viscera and then he talks to Lillian. Stunner off the ropes by Haas, back in the ring and a clothesline to Viscera with no effect. Haas up top…Missile dropkick to Viscera for a count of 2 as Haas is launched to the floor. Stiff kicks to Viscera, then rights. Off the ropes…Bossman slam by Viscera. Viscera dances, I throw up. Viscera misses a corner charge and then Lillian on the mic asks them to stop! She gets in the ring and she just wants to be friends. KISS OF DEATH! Haas attacks Viscera, blinds him and Viscera Samoa Drops Lillian as he is blind you see. Haas checks on Lillian, looks pissed off and we get some really bad acting.
They then laugh it off since Lillian won’t put out, and we will have a NEW random tag team, poor Val. Lillian gets the stretcher job.
Winner: No Contest @ 4:00
We see Edge and Lita at the hotel mocking Lillian. They have drank about 15 mimosas. Clerky the tool is here with the key, and Edge tells him to hit the bricks. They toast.
The Diva chicks walk, they are next apparently.
More to come…