Thanks to reader Daryl Vandenberg for sending in this report:
Smackdown video recapping last week’s Smackdown is shown.
Usual intro followed by no pyro just……
JBL’s music hits and he makes his entrance in his US garb & limo. JBL cuts a promo from the sunroof of his limo. JBL mocks the heart of our World Champion, Rey Mysterio. He says Rey has more guts than brains. JBL says that you Latinos have passion, but passion doesn’t pay the bills. He says come Sunday, he’s going to take Rey’s title. If Rey’s still a man of his word, he gets to play with fire tonight. He guarantees that tonight is a night Rey Mysterio will never forget. JBL goes back in his limo and the limo backs up and out of the arena.
MNM’s music hits and MNM make their usual entrance. Jillian Hall’s music hits and she makes her entrance followed by London & Kendrick.
Melina & Hall start to go at it but their two teams pull them apart immediately.
COMMERCIAL BREAK (10 minutes in)
MNM vs Brian Kendrick/Paul London & Jillian Hall
Nitro & Kendrick start off with Kendrick slapping on a headlock. Nitro tries to throw him off but Kendrick holds on. Nitro uses the turnbuckle to try and kick out but Kendrick holds on. Kendrick tags London and they hiptoss Nitro. Nitro gets the better of London though and quickly tags Mercury. Mercury throws his elbow into London’s head but London comes right back at Mercury, he slaps on an armbar but Mercury quickly escapes. Kendrick is tagged in and they double team Mercury. Melina distracts the ref though and MNM take a cheap shot at Kendrick’s knee. Mercury works over the knee and tags in Nitro with Kendrick stuck in their corner. Nitro continues to work the knee and Hall is going nuts in her corner. Nitro tags in Mercury, Melina screams throughout, and Mercury continues to work the knee. Kendrick sells the knee big time. Nitro is quickly tagged back in, Kendrick tries to crawl to his corner but Nitro pulls him back and continues to apply holds and stomp the knee. Nitro misses an attack on the knee and Kendrick almost makes the tag but Mercury is tagged in and runs to grab Kendrick and pull him back into their corner. Mercury goes for a suplex but Kendrick rolls him up for a near fall. Nitro is then tagged in and continues the beatdown. Mercury is tagged back in almost immediately. Mercury goes for a pin but London breaks the count. Kendrick misses an enziguri and Mercury continues to work the leg. Mercury is finally pushed off, he tags Nitro, Nitro gets to Kendrick before he can make the tag, but Kendrick fights him off and makes the hot tag. London cleans house, gets a near fall before him and Nitro have a little punchout which results in both men going down. Melina tags herself in, the fans pop huge and Hall runs in. They go at it really up tempo, before Hall gets a tackle on Melina and Mercury yanks Hall off of Melina. London & Kendrick save Hall and keep Mercury and Nitro out of it. Melina gets up and starts yelling at Kendrick & Nitro as Hall climbs the ropes. Melina turns around and Hall hits a crossbody and gets the pin. Good match, ran about 11 minutes. Long enough for solid entertainment, yet not too long so it leaves room for an improvement for the PPV and a good blowoff to the feud. We’ll see on Sunday.
Footage of the Judgment Day press conference is shown.
COMMERCIAL BREAK (27 minutes in)
Se No Evil premiere video package is shown. Kane shows up and reminds me why I am often embarrassed to admit to being a wrestling fan.
Video is shown of Mark Henry’s assault on Kurt Angle a couple weeks ago.
Kurt Angle is shown talking to the camera and talks about how Henry met Angle at the 1996 Olympics and didn’t win a thing and he’s been bitter ever since. He beat Henry for the title before Wrestlemania and Henry had to take out his frustration on him and try to end his career. He says come Judgment Day he’ll find out why he’s considered the world’s greatest wrestler. I think he found that out when they closed out the Royal Rumble. I guess I’m not supposed to remember how bad a match that was because if I did remember, I sure as hell wouldn’t pay for it again.
COMMERCIAL BREAK (36 minutes in)
Bobby Lashley, the soft spoken one’s music hits and he makes his way to the ring. He’s a little slower than usual and there’s a jobber, Jared Steele (I think), waiting in the ring to get destroyed. Is there any doubt he’s winning the KOTR?
Lashley vs Jared Steele
Lashley ties up with Steele and quickly tosses him off. They break, tie up again and Lashley powers him off and they belly to belly’s him across the ring and under the ropes and out. Steele complains a bunch, gets back in the ring, gets some brief offence in on Lashley before Lashley tosses him around for a bit, press slams him, gives him a Bulldog-like hanging vertical suplex, a spear and a win in 2 minutes. I don’t mind the return of squash matches, as long as they don’t involve Umaga, with his buddy, my name is…..I’m so tired of their act…….Anyway, as Lashley makes his way up the entrance ramp, he takes a seat in the throne when Booker’s music hits and he comes out and is about to go after Lashley but Sharmell keeps him away. Booker then heads towards the ring. Lashley and Booker stare at each other as Lashley heads to the back and Booker heads to the ring.
COMMERCIAL BREAK (44 minutes in)
Raw Rebound is shown.
Finlay’s music hits and he makes his way to the ring. Chris Benoit’s music then hits and he makes his way to the ring with Gunner Scott.
Chris Benoit & Gunner Scott vs Finlay & Booker T
They all face off and Gunner & Booker open. Booker slaps Gunner in the face and hotdogs a little. They tie up and Gunner pushes Booker into the corner. The ref breaks it up and they circle again and again tie up. Booker now pushes Gunner into the corner and shoulders him a few times and Gunner & Booker exchange chops with Gunner getting the edge and a pin attempt. Booker thumbs Gunner in the eye and tags in Finlay. Finlay side headlocks Gunner and takes him down. Finlay pulls him up and short arm clotheslines Gunner. Finlay works over Gunner and taunts Benoit. Finlay puts an armbar on Gunner but Gunner reverses, he clotheslines Finlay but Finlay fights back and gets a clothesline of his own before tagging in Booker. Booker pushes Gunner into a neutral corner and lands several chops. Gunner escapes the corner though and lands a snap suplex.. Booker lands a superkick though and slaps on a headlock to keep Gunner down on the mat. Gunner gets back to his feet and fights out but Booker elbows Gunner back down. Booker tags in Finlay. Finlay drops a couple elbows on Gunner and bodyslams him. Finlay misses a mid rope maneuver and Gunner makes the hot tag to Benoit. Benoit goes right at Finlay, lots of chops, they exit the ring, Finlay is tossed back in and as Benoit goes to apply the sharpshooter, Booker stomps Benoit. Finlay gets up and hits a clothesline on Benoit before quickly tagging in Booker. Booker comes at Benoit but Benoit is on fire and takes it to Booker before tagging in Gunner. Gunner has the better of Booker for a short time as Booker gets the advantage and tags in Finlay. I missed a spot here, but somehow, Gunner is cheap shotted and is down outside the ring holding his head. Benoit stands in front of Gunner on the outside of the ring with Booker & Finlay opposing him with the ref in between.
COMMERCIAL BREAK (64 minutes in)
Finlay drops the knee on Gunner in the middle of the ring before tagging in Booker. Booker taunts Gunner, Gunner gets up and Booker punches him back down. Gunner gets back up and Booker throws punches at him. Booker knees him in the face, and gets a near fall. Booker goes for a suplex but it’s reversed into a Russian leg sweep. Gunner tags in Benoit. Benoit chops down Booker, drops an elbow, near fall. Benoit hits a german, and another near fall. Finlay interferes and pulls Benoit out of the ring and pushes him into the ring steps and then drills him with his foreign object in the gut before tossing him back in. Booker now takes his time with Benoit, gets a near fall before applying an abdominal stretch. Booker breaks the hold, whips Benoit into the ropes, Benoit ducks a clothesline, and hits a German. Tag to Gunner. Gunner dropkicks Booker, he hits a dropkick off the top rope and gets a near fall. Finlay runs in but Benoit intercepts him. Benoit side suplexes Finlay and himself over the top rope and out of the ring. Booker nails a heel kick on Gunner and Lashley takes a seat in the throne. Booker has Gunner ready for a vertical suplex but he sees Lashley, and Gunner rolls up Booker with a crucifix for the pin. Match is good, runs between 14-15 minutes. It sure beats sitting through Gymini. Lashley lightly grins from the throne as Booker & Sharmell put up a fuss about him sitting in Booker’s chair. One side comedic note: Cole & Tazz mentioned early in the match that if Booker wins the KOTR, he’s going to legally change his name to King Booker. Too bad he’s not going to win. The only bad thing about Booker being back in action these days is we don’t get to hear him on commentary. His commentary is priceless.
COMMERCIAL BREAK (75 minutes in)
Tatanka vignette. Apparently, he’s a true Lakota warrior. This means nothing to me. Sorry Tatanka, enjoy the paycheques, while they last. Tatanka returns, next week. Great.
Daivari is in the ring and he cuts a promo on Undertaker and plays a video of Undertaker highlights ending in Khali handing his arse to him, as well as his recent demolishings of Smackdown’s little people, including the World Champion, Rey Mysterio. Daivari then introduces the Great Khali. His music hits and he makes his way to the ring. Khali grabs the mic, speaks his gibberish, where somewhere in there he says Undertaker, rest in peace. His music hits again, he poses for the crowd, and we’re off to commercial. Up next: Matt Hardy gets destroyed by Mark Henry.
COMMERCIAL BREAK (87 minutes in)
Mark Henry’s music hits and he makes his way to the ring. Matt Hardy’s entrance follows
Mark Henry vs Matt Hardy
Matt stomps Henry’s foot right off the bat but Henry punches him back and tosses him out of the ring. Matt tries to play hit and run with Henry and is successful early on. Matt hits a legdrop off the top rope but Henry tosses him off when he goes for the cover. Now Henry slowly takes Hardy apart. He slaps on a bearhug, Hardy tries to punch out but Henry pushes him into the corner. Henry goes for a splash but Hardy dodges. Matt calls for a twist of fate and as he grabs Henry, Henry grabs onto Hardy, picks him up and gives him his slam finisher and gets the pin. Henry then picks up Hardy and splashed Hardy in the corner. Tazz actually says that Hardy put up one hell of a fight. Yeah, a 2 minute match, one minute of which was Hardy getting in offence. Henry grabs a mic and basically says he’s going to destroy Angle at Judgment Day.
See No Evil promo is shown. This one is the one where the “actors” talk about how Kane was so close to the character. I’m confused. They market a horror movie, one that kids can’t see, yet they use childish marketing tactics to promote it. Maybe that’s why I’m not in marketing, cause I don’t get the logic.
Side Note: What the hell happened to the Miz anyway?
COMMERCIAL BREAK (98 minutes in)
Vito and Nunzio are talking backstage about going to a club. Vito walks off to take a phone call when Burchill comes up to Nunzio and tells Nunzio a story about Vito being dressed up as a woman. Nunzio doesn’t buy it and asks if Orlando put him up to it. Nunzio says Vito is on the phone with two of the hottest broads you’ll ever meet. He then walks off.
Cole & Tazz run through the Judgment Day card.
Rey Mysterio’s music hits and he makes his entrance.
COMMERCIAL BREAK (106 minutes in)
JBL’s music hits and he makes his way out, walking briskly and he stands on top of the announce table. He grabs a mic and cuts another promo on Rey about Judgment Day. He taunts Rey and says he’s been getting beaten up so much the past few weeks he probably doesn’t even know where he is or what year it is. He asks Rey what day it is and Rey responds May 19th. Cue Kane. Kane’s music hits and he makes his way to the ring. Kane hits Rey and stomps him in the corner. He picks Rey up and then throws him back into the corner. Rey rolls out of the ring, Kane goes after him and throws him back in. Rey tries to fight him off but Kane keeps coming. Kane punches & kicks Rey repeatedly in the corner. He whips him into the opposite corner. Kane picks up Rey by the throat and slams him. He grabs Rey and throws him out of the ring again. Kane picks up Rey and drops his head on the ring steps. Kane tosses Rey back into the ring. Kane boots Rey in the head. Kane goes to pick up Rey, he punches him a couple times and the Eddie chants begin. Kane continues to pound on Rey. Kane clotheslines Rey in the corner. Kane again picks up Rey and Rey fights Kane off, he goes for a springboard but Kane punches him. Some lame video pops up on the titantron, the lights go out and Kane’s voice plays on the speaker system saying “It’s happening again”. JBL tries to get through to Kane and Kane chokeslams Rey. Kane then continues to flake out and JBL pleads with Kane not to freak out on him again. He says “He’s not the one who said May 19th”. Kane then chokeslams JBL. Rey is still out. What a champion. Show goes off the air with Kane heading up the ramp and what do I get the instant it goes off the air? See No Evil commercial.
I don’t know, Smackdown is just one big commercial. A two hour show, that breaks down into about 60 minutes of first run material, with about 30 minutes of commercials, and another 30 minutes of WWE commercials hyping Kane’s movie, the PPV, recapping previous Smackdowns, hell, even recapping Raw. I know it’s gotta be there, but Raw still has far less of this filler than Smackdown does. It’s just so annoying. Smack of the week, Boot of the night, Click it or Ticket, or whatever the hell they have now, I’m just so tired of the constant commercial that Smackdown has become. I guess it’s better than watching Gymini. Poor Gymini, it’s actually not them that’s so bad, it’s just the lame matches they’re thrown in for a couple weeks before they just seem to disappear. Then they’ll suddenly reappear and get squashed by the Great Khali. Just bad, bad TV. I guess I don’t understand their business. I do understand what’s not entertaining though. Okay, Undertaker is so afraid of the Great Khali, yet he’s the one who requested the match, with Khali & Daivari objecting. Is Undertaker still on Smackdown or is he strictly a PPV performer now? Don’t bother watching this one. Nothing new, nothing interesting, same old, same old.
