RAW comes to us taped this week from London, England. Last week saw Charlie Haas return to cost Shelton Benjamin his shot at RVD’s title shot. However, in a confusing turn of events, RVD is forced to put it on the line when he loses to the Sprit Squad. Vince McMahon unveiled ‘McMahonism’, Kane snapped, and Edge picked up his win in the series of handicapped matches between the main eventers of Backlash. Tonight is the go home edition of RAW before the Backlash PPV Sunday night.
RAW opens with a recap of the Vince McMahon-Shawn Michaels No Holds Barred Match from Wrestlemania 22, the highlights being Shane kissing his dad’s ass and getting caned, and of course the amazing ladder spot, setting up the match between Shane and Shawn later tonight. The pyro goes off and we get a good look at the huge crowd in the Wembley Arena.
Edge is the first wrestler out, and he is in street clothes. The Rated R Superstar puts over the Backlash Main Event and begins to rag on HHH. A replay of last week’s pinfall is shown. For Cena, we see a replay of Edge’s title win at New Year’s Revolution. Do we see a pattern here? It should be obvious that Edge will be the new champion. Triple H’s special “King of Kings” promo music plays, and Triple H gets a warm reception from the London crowd. It actually sounds like it was toned down in editing. He gets a Triple H chant. The H says Edge has come a long way. He says Edge acts, walks and talks like a champion. He even was a champion…for three weeks. He can go, but not for very long. Triple H does a funny impression of a guy who can’t last and the crowd eats it up. He says he can imagine it is frustrating for Lita. Triple H calls him the Premature Superstar. Until you can do it ten times in a row, you are not in H’s league. Edge says he only needs three seconds. Triple H was distracted by wanting to give Cena a lesson. But at Backlash, he only wants to be the 11 time WWE Champion. At Backlash, the King of Kings, well you know the rest. Edge says Triple H hasn’t been able to answer why he is in the Backlash Main Event. He lost at Mania and has never beaten Edge. Edge wonders if it is because he begged the old man on his knees. Triple H says there is only one person in the ring known for getting down on their knees. Triple H says if being on Vince’s good side benefits him, so be it. But he says he will also bash his Vince’s or even his own grandmother’s skull in if need be to win the title.
Cena comes out and he and Triple H start to brawl as Edge bails. Cena gets the upper hand with punches, but HHH is able to bail. He teases getting back in the ring, but the Spirit Squad come out. They have an announcement. The gist of it is that Cena, HHH, and Edge will be challenging the Spirit Squad in a 5 on 3 match.
On Unlimited, Matt Striker is ragging on the British people for butchering the American language, among other things. He promises the world will get an education from Matt Striker tonight.
Rewind – Matt Striker and Carlito go at it until Chris Masters beats down Carlito. Back to RAW, they play Regal’s old theme and I get confused. Chris Masters is out for a tag match. His partners, Matt Striker and IC Champ Shelton Benjamin. Their opponents are Carlito, RVD, and Charlie Haas.
Chris Masters, Matt Striker, & Shelton Benjamin vs. Charlie Haas, Carlito, & Rob Van Dam
The bell rings and Carlito and Shelton square off. Shelton takes him down and Carlito tags in RVD. They go back and forth until RVD nails a hurracanrana and kick. Striker gets thrown out and Masters double clotheslined out of the ring. Charlie Haas whips RVD in and he flips onto Striker and Masters. Commercial.
On Unlimited, Shelton and the heels get the upper hand, stomping RVD by the steel ring steps. Back in the ring, Benjamin punches RVD on the canvas. RVD punches back, but Shelton counters an Irish Whip with a spinebuster. Striker tags in and hits some punches and slaps. He chokes RVD in the corner. RVD gets a sunset flip, but Striker kicks out and trips RVD. Masters works on RVD’s back.
On RAW, the heels are still working on Van Dam. Masters locks in a bear hug. RVD breaks out, but Masters gets a powerslam for a two count that Carlito breaks up. Shelton is in and snap suplexes RVD and locks on a modified headlock. RVD gets out, and reverses an attempt by Shelton to get him in the corner. Charlie Haas cleans house. Back body drop and dropkick on Shelton. Inverted DDT gets a two count when Masters breaks it up. Carlito comes in and pokes Masters in the eyes. Striker punches Van Dam on the outside. In the ring, Carlito hits a backcracker on Benjamin, but Masters locks on the Masterlock. Haas breaks it up with a german suplex. Carlito hits a Rolling Cutter on Striker, Shelton hits the T Bone on Carlito, RVD gets a side kick, rolling thunder, and frog splash on Shelton for the 1-2-3.
Your winners, Rob Van Dam, Charlie Haas, and Carlito!
Commercial. Unlimited has the Kiss Cam. We get a proposal!
Back on RAW, Mr. McMahon is being interviewed by Todd Grisham. Vince refuses to believe that all the things that happened with the pyro were mere coincidences, not acts of God. He fired the pyro man. Shawn Michaels better hope there is an Act of God, but even if there is, he and his partner are going down. Vince has it on good authority that God is not in the building, so it is Vince’s son Shane one on one with Shawn Michaels. Shane says that this will be payback for what happened at Mania. Shane swears to God that Michaels will not be walking out on his own power.
Torrie is getting ready for the bikini contest. Kane is pacing (no voices). Show interrupts and wants to straighten things out with Kane. He wants to know what is going on. May 19th sets off Kane again. Show says it is like any other day. Kane warns him not to say it again, or else. Show repeats it and Kane lays into him, kicking Show against the garage door and flipping out on other wrestlers. Hey, is that Johnny Ace? Show is screaming that Kane injured his left eye. Commercial.
On Unlimited, Todd is out to host Sign of the Night. Someone wants Mania in England. What is Visagra? “Edge, in the UK you are rated 18″…funny! There is a follower of McMahonism in the crowd.
Back on RAW, Coach is in the ring for the Bikini Contest. Candice Michelle is out first. Maria is next, followed by Victoria, and Torrie Wilson. King wonders how Coach got his old bit. Each lady gets 30 seconds to pose. Torrie is first. They are stripping to that awful Pussycat Dolls song, Don Chu, or however it is spelled. Victoria shakes it after Torrie, and Maria has the floor. Let’s hear it for the natural ladies! Finally, we have Candice. She throws her robe at Torrie. She also kisses Victoria. Maria is the overwhelming winner, but Coach declares Candice the winner. The crowd boos. Candice’s prize is she gets to make out with the Coach. Coach points out how she said she would try anything once.
The World’s Largest Love Machine, Viscera, comes out. Coach says he is working on something, but Big Vis gets his game on. Samoan drop on Coach. Splash and a couple of slaps on the bottom. Vis and Candice go at it and she slaps his behind. Shawn versus Shane is next. Commercial.
On Unlimited, Coach has recovered and says he bets the crowd loved seeing that. Coach is going to do something he should have done a long time ago…he is leaving London and not coming back. Na na na na, hey hey hey, Goodbye. Does this mean there is a two man booth for the rest of the night? Yes it does!
Back on RAW, another recap of the Vince-Shawn Mania match. Before Lillian can introduce the wrestlers, Mr. McMahon comes out. He wants a warm, Great Britain welcome for the “product of my omnipotent semen”, Shane McMahon. Shawn Michaels is out next.
Shane McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels
Vince distracts Shawn on the outside so Shane can take the advantage. In the ring, Shane hits three punches, but Shawn blocks the fourth. Vince distracts Shawn, but he is able to throw Shane over the ropes. Shane capitalizes again on Michaels being distracted and shoves Shawn into the ringpost. Shane punches and knees Michaels back for a two count. Shane hits multiple backbreakers for another two count. More punches from Shane for a two. Shane works the back again, but Michaels punches out and chops Shane in the corner. Shane is able to get Michaels up in a Torture Rack and turns it into a TKO. Two count. A moonsault by Shane misses. Both men crawl up and exchange punches. Shawn gets the upper hand and hits a flying forearm. Inverted atomic drop and closthelines by Shawn. Scoop slam and Shawn goes to the top. He sees Vince coming and knocks him off the apron. The elbow drop hits and Michaels tunes up the band. Vince pulls him from the ring and Shawn punches him. He throws Vince on the announcers table and climbs to the top of the turnbuckle. Shane hits a low blow to prevent him from jumping. Vince and Shane remove the monitors from the table and Vince hits Shawn with the ring bell. Shane puts Shawn on the table and goes to the top of the turnbuckle. HUGE flying elbow drop puts Shawn through the table. Both men are laid out, but Vince is happy. On the mic he says God abandoned Shawn. He says God will not be at Shawn’s side at Backlash. He and God have no chance in hell at winning. The lights dim and the spotlight goes on Vince and Shane. There is a cool camera shot above them and Shawn laid out.
The match is a no contest. Commercial.
On Unlimited, Vince helps Shane leave ringside. They do the DX crotch chop. Referees help Shawn out of the ring and to the back.
Back on RAW, there are replays of Shane’s elbow drop, and then Kane’s breakdown. Another preview for Kane’s movie. It is very gory, allegedly. Kane finds the gory scenes comforting. We get the rundown of the Backlash card.
Cena and Edge are in the locker room. Edge warns Cena that no one should try to take the other out in the tag match, or no one will make it. Cena calls Edge a snake and warns that if Edge tries anything, he is going down…quicker than his girlfriend. Commercial.
Unlimited has This Week in Wrestling History, all the way back to April 26, 1999 and the Austin-Undertaker-McMahon Stephanie kidnapping segment, with Stephanie tied to Taker’s symbol during the marriage ceremony.
Back on RAW, Edge and Lita are in the hallway talking things over. Lita is happy, but we don’t know what is said. Armando Alejandro Estrada brings Umaga, the Samoan Wrecking Machine, out to the ring. In the ring is a London jobber, Steve Lewington.
Umaga vs. Steve Lewington
Umaga clobbers Lewington. Scoop slam by Umaga. Lewington tries to fight back, but is kicked out of the ring. Lewington tries to crawl away, but he is thrown into the ringsteps, swung in actually. Umaga puts him in the Tree of Woe and headbutts him. Splash by Umaga. He drives the thumb into the neck , and that is it.
Your winner, Umaga!
Post match, Ric Flair comes out and puts the claw on Umaga’s crotch.
In the back, Lita wants to talk to Triple H. She says they all have an understanding. Lita says if Triple H wins Sunday, she could hit her with his sledgehammer. Triple H wants some advice, since he knows she has a lot of experience taking on 5 guys at once.
Unlimited has some trivia.
Back on RAW, a match at Backlash between Umaga and Ric Flair is announced.
Mickie James comes out, sans Trish wig. She is dressed normally, as well. Mickie says that after last week, she knows exactly who she is…Mickie James! She doesn’t have to be Trish cause she is better than Trish. Mickie’s music plays, but out comes Trish, still dressed and acting like Mickie. Trish taunts Mickie by doing the old talking at the same time thing and they punch. Mickie dodges one Trish kick, but Trish nails the second one.
The tag team match is next. Commercial.
Unlimited has highlights from the Backlash “press conference”.
Back on RAW, the Spirit Squad comes out. Mitch is wearing both of the tag belts. Edge is out for the other team first, followed by Triple H, and finally, John Cena. The Spirit Squad introduces themselves, but the Main Eventers lay them out.
The Spirit Squad vs. Triple H, Edge, & John Cena
The bell rings, but the Main Eventers aren’t sure who will start. Before we go to commercial, Kenny attacks Triple H from behind.
On Unlimited, it is Triple H who starts out. I miss the first part, but towards the end, he is fighting Johnny and gives him a kneelift.
On RAW, Edge is tagged in. He spears Johnny in the corner and lets him tag in Mikey. Another Sprit Squad member is thrown on Mikey. He tries to call time out. He gets the upper-hand on Edge and Kenny is tagged in. Kenny tags in another member and the double team try fails. Edge hard tags Triple H in and he beats Johnny in the corner. Suplex by Triple H and a crotch chop followed by a knee drop. Cena tags himself in and Johnny tags in Kenny. Cena throws Kenny into the corner and gives him a Fisherman’s Suplex. Cena gets 10 punches in the corner, but Mikey uses the trampoline to knock Cena down and Johnny gives him his spin kick for a two count. Cena is thrown out of the ring and all five kick him. Back in the ring, Kenny gets a two count on Cena. Mikey is tagged in and Kenny flips him onto Cena for another two count. Headlock by Mikey on Cena. Cena elbows out and punches Mikey, but with distraction, Mikey gets the advantage for another two count. Mitch comes in and hot dogs until Cena fights back. The Spirit Squad beats him down again. Mikey takes a cheap shot on Triple H but is met with a power slam by Cena, who then takes out all the Spirit Squad members with punches. Triple H tags himself in and punches all of the Spirit Squad members, too, before hitting spinebusters. Pedigree attempt is broken up. Cena helps Triple H out while Edge stands on the apron. Stereo FU and Pedigree as Lita and Edge leave. Cena and Triple H turn and punch each other.
The match is a no contest.
Edge smiles on the outside as Triple H and Cena punch each other on the mat and the show comes to a close. Who will come out on top Sunday night?