WWE RAW Opener:
RAW opened up with a video package looking at last weeks goings on in the Vince McMahon Kiss My Ass Club with Marty Jannetty, and then Shawn Michaels making the save only to be knocked out by a Shane McMahon chair shot and then shoved into the anus of the boss.
In the arena:
There’s No Chance, as Mr. McMahon and his son, Shane McMahon, made their way down to the ring with a ton of security in tow as Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler and the Coach welcomed us to RAW. Vince got on the mic and said last night many of us sat at home and watched the Oscars, and he thinks most of think of the Oscars…the fans erupted with a “you suck” chant as McMahon went on to say that the Oscars are a celebration of Hollywood’s elite, but McMahon thinks the Oscars are three hours of nothing but ass kissing. The fans chanted “asshole” and McMahon said not to speak of Shawn Michaels that way. He said let puckered up at the Oscars last night, but it pales in comparison to this. An image of Shawn Michaels being shoved in Vince’s ass was shown on the Tron. McMahon said he wants to thank everyone who made this happen, and some Oscar type music started to play as he thanked the Spirit Squad, they provided the cheer that inspired him to drop his pants. He’d also like to thank Chris Masters, his Master Lock was nothing short of breathtaking. He then named Masters and Carlito the number one contenders to the Tag Titles, and they will gave Show and Kane at WrestleMania. He thanked Marty Jannetty, who stuck with his convictions, and will not be getting a contract in WWE, and will never appear in a WWE ring again.
McMahon then thanks each and every one of us, the little people, who continue to kiss their bosses ass each and every day, and he’d like to thank them for their lack of spine and keep people like him going. He then thanked Shane, and said to quote the new best picture “Crash”, it is that “sense of touch” that we miss, and he made Shawn Michaels’ face crash into his naked ass, and he loves him for that. McMahon then said that we are thinking Michaels’ is upset, and this security is out here for their protection, but they are for Michaels’ protection. He said Michaels’ isn’t facing a normal 60 year old billionaire, but a man who is on the cover of this months Muscle and Fitness. A bunch of pyro went off as the Muscle and Fitness cover appeared on the Tron. He said if Michaels’ is expecting to beat Shane McMahon at Saturday Night’s Main Event and him at WrestleMania, then he has no chance in hell. Michaels music then hit and Michaels came through the crowd and took Shane McMahon down and started pounding on him. Security grabbed Michaels as the McMahon’s backed up the aisle. Vince said Michaels has a Street Fight with his son at Saturday Night’s Main Event, but here tonight he goes one on one with his son Shane! Shane didn’t seem to like that as security held Michaels back!
Shane and Vince are backstage and Shane says he’s not ready, but Vince thinks he is, and the match is on.
Intercontinental Championship Match
Shelton Benjamin’s music hit in the arena as he wheeled his momma down to the ring, and he’ll be defending his Intercontinental Championship in a rematch with the former champion, Ric Flair, here tonight.
Benjamin attacked Flair from behind and stomped away at him before sending him to the corner and hitting a back drop. Shelton nailed a Samoan Drop and covered for two. Benjamin scored with a delayed vertical suplex and made another cover for two. Benjamin sent Flair to the corner but then walked into a chop and some right hands from the Nature Boy. Flair continued his assault with lefts and rights, and then some more chops before stomping away on Benjamin. Benjamin poked the referee in the eye thinking it was Flair, and then Flair locked in the Figure Four and Benjamin tapped but the referee rang for the bell!
Winner by disqualification, Ric Flair but still Intercontinental Champion, Shelton Benjamin
Flair isn’t pleased and started stomping away on Benjamin and then hit some right hands. Flair went to the outside and took momma’s oxygen and nailed Benjamin in the gut with it. Flair nailed Benjamin with the oxygen again, sending him to the outside as momma checked on her fallen son.
Tonight we’ll see John Cena take on the Big Show in a rematch from WrestleMania XX, and Triple H will face Kane in a rematch from WrestleMania XV!
During the break:
Teddy Long is shown backstage with Rob Van Dam and Todd Grisham, and he announces that at WrestleMania 22, the Money in the Bank Ladder Match is now interpromotional. He says it will be three superstars from RAW and three from Smackdown to get the chance at a guaranteed title shot, and the qualifying matches take place this Friday on Smackdown!
WrestleMania Rewind Match
It’s time to play the Game as Triple H made his way to the ring for this WrestleMania XV Rewind Match against one half of the World Tag Team Champions in Kane!
Triple H gave Kane an eye rake and then nailed some right hands. Kane came back with a big boot and then tossed Triple H to the corner and gave him some right hands and elbows. Triple H came back with a running high knee but then Kane sat up and Triple H hit a right hand, but Kane knocked him down with an uppercut. Kane nailed a back drop and then went up top but Triple H crotched him.
Triple H went for a suplex but Kane blocked and nailed a suplex of his own. Kane nailed some right hands and then Triple H came back with his facebuster. Triple H went for the Pedigree but Kane backdropped out. Kane nailed a clothesline and then a series of running clotheslines in the corner. Kane hit a side slam and then went up top again and came off with the flying clothesline. Kane signalled for the chokeslam but then Chris Masters hit the ring.
Kane knocked him down with a big boot but then Triple H clotheslined Kane to the outside. Kane tried to pull Triple H out, but Triple H held onto the referee for dear life. Carlito then hit the ring and spat apple in Kane’s face, and then they sent him into the ringpost. Triple H then hit the Pedigree for the win.
Winner – Triple H
Victoria is backstage with Torrie, and Victoria is saying that no one should see the cover of Playboyt until they are ready. Torrie didn’t see so enthused, and she said Candice slapped her last week, and she hasn’t even tried to apologize. Victoria said she’s under a lot of pressure, and she had the opportunity last week to win the Women’s Title and Torrie did kind of screw it up. Victoria said after tonight, they will be the three amigos, and be back to normal. Torrie said she hopes she’s right. Torrie asked if Candice will be naked out there, and Victoria said anything is possible.
Grisham comes in for question for Shawn Michaels, and then Stephanie McMahon comes in, looking very pregnant. Michaels said she’s had enough of her family and to get out. Stephanie said she’s pregnant, and it means the world to her. She said children change your life, and she hopes she can change, and if Shawn doesn’t give her that chance. She said she wants to apologize to Shawn, and she’s sorry for everything she’s ever done. Stephanie bent over in pain and Michaels told her to sit down. Michaels went to get a water for her, and then she put some kind of pill into Michaels drink while he was gone. Stephanie had some water and then left. Michaels then took a drink of his water as we go to commercial.
Footage is shown of Candice Michelle’s Playboy shoot with comments from her and the photographers.
In the arena:
Torrie and Victoria are in the ring with the huge Playboy cover, covered in a red. They then lift up the covers and reveal the cover, and then a drum roll hits and Candice comes out from under the box. Candice parades around the ring as the cover hung above the ring. Candice took the mic and asked if it was hot in there, or is it just her. She said she’s too hot for TV, too hot for the Superbowl. She’s hotter than Trish Stratus, and Stacy Keibler (Coach: Who?), and said Stacy choked coming in third. She said she’s the hottest Diva to ever pose for Playboy, and then she asked Torrie if she agreed, and she said it looked great. Candice said her cover is hotter than both of Torrie’s combined. Torrie said Candice is acting like the biggest bitch to ever be in Playboy. Candice said maybe Torrie is right, she hasn’t been a good friend lately, and she’s really excited to have her here tonight and celebrate her special moment. The two hugged, and then Victoria nailed Torrie from behind. Candice then slapped Torrie in the face and pulled her by the hair and drove her face first into the canvas! Candice paraded around some more with Victoria, and kissed each other before leaving the ring.
Shawn Michaels is shown getting ready backstage, and drinks more of his water, and he’ll face Shane McMahon next!
Referee: Mickey Hensen
The music of Shane McMahon hit in the arena as he made his way to the ring with Vince, and he’ll be facing Shawn Michaels here tonight, but earlier tonight, Michaels was apparently drugged by Stephanie McMahon!
Shawn and Shane traded right hands with Michaels getting the better. Michaels stomped away on Shane, and then Shane ran to the outside and led Shawn back into the ring and nailed him with a right hand. Shane nailed some more right hands in the corner, and Michaels is looking dazed. Shane hit more shots in the corner but then Michaels came back with a right hand of his own, but he looks dizzy. Michaels nailed some chops and went for a flying forearm but missed it.
Michaels tried to nip up but he can noly stand. McMahon kicked Shawn in the gut and then nailed more right hands. Doctors made their way down the aisle but Vince stopped them. Shane nailed more right hands and Michaels collapsed to the mat and he’s in a bad way. McMahon nailed another right hand and covered him and the referee reluctantly counted the pin.
Winner – Shane McMahon
Shane and Vince celebrated as the referee checked on Michaels. Shane told Lilian Garcia something, and she announced that Shawn Michaels has another match against his WrestleMania opponent, Mr. McMahon.
Referee: Mickey Hensen
Vince took off his jacket and went right over and covered Shawn for the easy three.
Winner – Mr. McMahon
The Spirit Squad then hit the ring and lifted Shane and Vince on their shoulders as we go to commercial.
Referee: Chad Patton
The Spirit Squad are still in the ring, and then the music of Eugene hit as he made his way down the aisle. The Squad mocked Eugene and they started copying everything he did. Eugene wanted the air horn and went looking for it, but they hid it from him and then they handed it over, and then one of them jumped him.
Kenny nailed a flying back elbow and covered for two. Kenny then nailed a slam and hit an elbow drop for another two count as Styles pointed out that Kenny is just 19 years old. Kenny took Eugene down again for another two count and then locked in a rear chin lock. The crowd is dead, for those taking notice. Eugene tried to fight back but then Kenny nailed some clubs to the back for two.
Kenny hit a suplex for yet another two count and then locked in the rear chin lock again. Eugene fought out and then rolled Kenny up for a near fall. Kenny hit some fist drops on Eugene for two and then locked in a rear naked choke. Kenny sent Eugene head first to the corner but Eugene started to Hulk up and hit a series of rights and lefts to knock Kenny down. Eugene scored with an airplane spin and then a nice bulldog for two.
One of the Squad distracted Eugene but he then got a roll up with a bridge for two. The Squad distracted Eugene again, and then Eugene nailed the Rock Bottom on Kenny. Eugene went for the People’s Elbow, but then Johnny hit the ring and took Eugene down with a Buzzsaw Kick. Kenny then sprang to the top rope and hit a super high leg drop for the win.
Winner – Kenny
Edge and Lita are shown in the back, and they are making their way to the arena right now!
Referee: Jack Doan
The music of Maria hit in the arena as she made her way down to the ring and she holds a pinfall victory from four weeks ago over her opponent tonight, Lita, who was accompanied by Edge.
They locked up and Lita shoved Maria down to the mat. Lita choked Maria over the bottom rope as Edge mocked her. Lita kicked Maria in the back and then took her down yet again. Maria came out of nowhere with a rollup for two, but then Lita nailed her in the back and took her down again. Lita stood on the back of Maria and then pulled her by the hair. Lita nailed some right hands as the crowd yelled “hooooo” towards Lita. Lita tossed Maria around some more but then ate a boot on the corner charge. Maria went for a clothesline but then Lita kicked her in the gut and hit a sick DDT for the win.
Winner – Lita
Lita wasn’t finished and held Maria up and Edge went for the Spear on her but Maria bailed and then Mick Foley hit the ring and he and Edge traded right hands. Lita got on Foley’s back and he got her down and then walked right into a Spear from Edge! Edge grabbed two chairs and whacked Foley in the back with one. Edge then gave Foley a one man conchairto and took the mic and said about that challenge for a Hardcore Match at WrestleMania…he accepts! Edge and Lita knelt over the fallen Foley looking very pleased.
Hall of Fame:
It was announced that Sherri Martel will be inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame, joining Bret Hart, Eddie Guerrero and Gene Okerlund.
Mickie James was glad Sherri Martel was being inducted, when Trish Stratus entered and said they need to talk. Trish says this needs to stop, everywhere she turns Mickie is there. Mickie licked the Divas magazine and Trish got upset, then said they needed some time apart. Mickie looked upset as Trish walked off.
Backstage, Big Show was shown doing push-ups, and up next he will go one on one with John Cena.
WrestleMania Rewind Match
The music of the Big Show hit in the arena as he made his way to the ring as one half of the World Tag Team Champions, and he will be facing WWE Champion John Cena in this rematch from WrestleMania XX!
The two locked up and Show shoved Cena down easily. Cena came back with right hands and then ran into a big boot. Show nailed a headbutt and then some chops in the corner. Show stood on the chest of Cena in the corner and then bealed him across the ring. Show kept control with a club to the back of Cena and then a huge slam.
Cena fought back with shots to the mid section but then ran into a side slam for two. Show locked in a bear hug on Cena and he fought out with right hands but then ran into a back elbow. Show then charged at Cena, but Cena dropped down the top rope and Show toppled to the outside. Triple H came out to the stage with his sledgehammer and stared it up and down as we go to commercial.
Back on RAW and Show is back in control of Cena. Show nailed a delayed vertical and during the break, Cena shoved Show into the ring post. Back to live and Show covered for two when Cena got his foot on the rope. Show nailed some chops to Cena in the corner and then hit a nice snap suplex for two. Show hit a standing leg drop on Cena for another two count but then Cena started to fight back with right hands.
Cena got his boot up on a corner charge, and went for a crossbody but Show caught him and slammed him down. Show then started to climb up top but then Carlito and Masters hit the ring and Kane took them out from behind. Kane chased Masters and Carlito off, and Show is sitting on the top rope distracted. Cena then came over and nailed a damn superplex on Show off the top! Triple H looked on in disbelief as Cena covered but Show kicked out!
Triple H slowly made his way down the ramp and Cena stared at him. Show is up behind Cena and nailed him with a clothesline and then called for the chokeslam. Show went for it but Cena reversed into a mid air DDT! Cena hit the flying shoulder, and then another, and then one to the back. Show stumbled to one knee but then grabbed Cena by the throat and went for the chokeslam but Cena reversed and got Show up the FU for the win!
Winner, the WWE Champion, John Cena
Cena’s hand was raised in victory as he and Triple H stared each other down. Cena held his WWE Championship high in the air as Triple H signalled it would be his at WrestleMania as RAW went off the air.
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