B>WWE RAW Opener:
RAW opened up with a special video package looking at Edge’s run as the WWE Champion, sort of like a movie preview. This Sunday at the Royal Rumble prepare to be taken to the Edge!
In the arena:
The music of WWE Champion Edge hit in the arena as he and Lita made their way to the ring. Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler and Coach welcomed us to the show and tonight Edge will face John Cena, both with partners of their own choice. Lita went to speak but then coughed her guts up. She said coming soon, to a WrestleMania near you, the Rated R Superstar, the new WWE Champion, Edge! Edge took the mic and said we saw the trailer, but the feature attraction comes at WrestleMania, and he will be the champion, a real champion, because he has proved all of his doubters wrong. He said he is ratings, and he deserves that championship. He said he isn’t going to be some kind of transitional champion like the Iron Sheik or Mick Foley, guys who won the title, lost it a week later never to be heard from again. He said he isn’t going to lose it sixteen times like Ric Flair, and he isn’t going to become a walking joke like Ric Flair. He said then again, Ric’s not exactly walking right now is he? The fans chanted for Flair but Edge said Flair can noly move after what he did to him last week. He said he is proud to say that Ric Flair will not be here tonight! Edge said that not only will he not be here, but he will never receive another title match again. Edge said he beat Flair last week so he goes to the back of the line, but don’t worry, because pretty soon you’re going to have some company at the back of the line. The fans chanted more for Flair and Edge said John Cena will be joining Flair at the back of the line. Edge said Cena, after he cashes in his re-match, and he loses, his career is going straight in the toilet, and all of the people will have to hitch themselves to a new bandwagon, to a new over rated, untalented piece of crap like him. Edge said then he and Lita, they are going to go back to his house, the mirrors on the ceiling, spinning hydraulic bed, and have a celebration…the music of John Cena then hit!
Cena made his way out to the stage with a mic in hand. Cena said do you realized what just happened, this is big. He congratulated Edge. That movie trailer was awesome, very good, well done. But what the people don’t know is that the actual movie is unbelievable. He said he will give everyone a review of “To The Edge” right here. He said this is a classic. Boy meets hoe. She’s not just a regular hoe, she’s a magical red-headed hoe. She changes the boys life and he wins money in the bank and the WWE Title. The boy has it all, and wants to make his hoe happy. She needs food he gets her potatoes from IdaHO, he traces her heritage and finds out she is half NavaHO. The boy and the ho have it all. He said the boy is on top, and the boy goes to Miami, the Royal Rumble. The single biggest moment in the boys professional career, the lights, the world, everyone is watching, and he stands in the middle of the ring and proceeds to take the worst ass kicking of his life. It’s bad, it’s real bad. He it gets worse. The boy loses the WWE Title, he loses his main event spot, and he loses his hoe. Turns out she goes and falls in love with Hacksaw Jim Duggan. “HOOOOOOOOOOOO!” One day the boy goes from being Rated R to Rated G, G like gold which the boy never sees again, and G for Gonorrhoea that the ho left behind! Lita took the mic and said she doesn’t know who this hoe is that he’s referring to, but what she does know, is that he and Edge have to find partners tonight, and the champ isn’t going to have a hard time finding one, but if Cena is having trouble finding someone to play with, then he might just have to go play with himself. Cena said that was good, it’s finally good see something of substance coming OUT of her mouth. Cena said that tonight, these people are going to get a preview of what is going to happen at the Rumble. Ain’t no money in the bank, sex on TV or movie trailers that are going to change the fact that he’s standing next to a bitch, and this Sunday at the Rumble, he’s going to make him his!
Dancing With The Stars:
Footage is shown of Stacy Keibler on Dancing With The Stars, doing the Tango. Stacy and her partner made it to the next round.
Referee: Mickey Jay
The music of Kane hit in the arena as he made his way to the ring as one half of the World Tag Team Champions, and he is set for action here with Carlito.
Carlito hit some right hands and then Kane tossed Carlito to the corner. Carlito came back with more right hands and then Kane shoved him away. Kane knocked Carlito down with a right hand and then sent him to the corner. Kane gave Carlito some elbows in the corner and then choked him. Carlito came back with an elbow to the face and then a missile dropkick.
Carlito hammered away at Kane and then sent him to the ropes and kicked Kane in the face. Carlito hit a swinging neckbreaker and continued his assault with shots to the back. Kane came back with a kick to the gut and then an uppercut. Carlito went for a tornado DDT from the top but Kane threw him off and then hit a powerslam. Kane hit a clothesline, and then another. Kane nailed a big boot and then leg drop for two. Kane hit a side slam and then headed up top for the flying clothesline.
Kane went for a slam but Carlito fell out the back and hit a lungbuster for two. Carlito hit a springboard senton for two and then wet for his finisher but Kane rammed him to the corner. Kane ate boot on a charge and then Carlito came off the middle rope but Kane went for the chokeslam. Carlito poked Kane in the eye and then went out and grabbed a chair. Kane went to kick it back in Carlito’s face, but Carlito levelled him!
Winner by disqualification, Kane
Kane sat up and Carlito looked petrified and scrambled up the aisle to the back.
Edge is shown backstage with Lita, and said he could have anyone as his partner, but this guy could really get the job done, but he might need a little persuasion. Lita asked if it was a good idea, and Edge told her to go do the things that she does. Lita said she would do it for him, and Edge tld her to go get him. Lita was then shown going into Big Show’s locker room!
In the arena:
The Carolina Panthers are shown in the front row enjoying the show.
Lita is shown in Big Show’s locker room, and massaging his chest asking him to team with Edge tonight. Show said he wasn’t sure and Lita climbed on top of him, and said she would loosen him up. Lita then took off her top and Edge walked in. Edge asked Show if he liked that, and he can finish off what she started after he teams with him tonight against John Cena. Show stood up and weighed up his options, and said hell no, especially what he did to Flair last week. Show said Edge is lucky that he doesn’t beat his ass right now, and the reason he isn’t is because he wants to win the Rumble and make it to WrestleMania to face the champion. As far as Edge and Lita, there’s an old saying that holds true, pimps u, ho’s down!
Trish is shown stretching in the back and Mickie comes in. Mickie asked Trish if it was true that she is teaming with Ashley instead of her? Mickie said after everything she has done for Trish, and she doesn’t even care. Mickie started to cry and Trish said if it means that much to her…Mickie said it was fine, and to do what she wants. She will just have to learn to accept that. Mickie stormed off and Trish looked confuse.
In the arena:
Coach gets out of the announce position and gets on the mic. He said there is one spot remaining in the Royal Rumble Match and he has found out who the spot will go to. He said 2006 is sure to be his year, and he’d like to introduce us to him. The Coach! Coach said for a second year in a row, he is going to the Rumble. Lawler then got on the mic and asked who died and made him the King. Lawler asked who did he ever beat to get in the Rumble, so why should he be in it? Lawler then asked the people they wanted the Coach in the Rumble? The booed. Lawler said what the Rumble needs is a little royalty. Coach said he called it first, and then Lawler said he has a little idea, and why don’t they have a little qualifying match to see who gets in the Rumble? Coach said that isn’t going to happen. Lawler asked if Coach was yellow, and Coach said no one calls him a coward. Coach said he’ll take him on tonight, and Lawler said he’s got it.
Referee: Jack Doan
Candice and Victoria are in the ring with Torrie Wilson, and they are set for action with Ashley and Women’s Champion, Trish Stratus.
Ashley and Victoria kicked things off with a lock up and Victoria grabbed a waist lock. Ashley elbowed out and then hit a springboard into an axe handle. Ashley rolled Victoria up for two and then hit a legsweep and tagged in Trish. They hit a double team elbow and then Trish hit a boot in the corner but then ate elbow on a charge.
Victoria went to the middle rope but then Trish hit a huricanrana on her! Trish hit a big leg drop and covered for two and then tagged in Ashley. Trish held Ashley as she kicked Victoria and Candice away. Ashley went for a springboard but Candice knocked her off the rope. Victoria kicked Ashley in the gut and then tagged in Candice. Victoria slammed Candice into Ashley for two. Candice hit some knees in the corner, and then one to the face, and then hit a knee drop before tagging Victoria.
Victoria went for the springboard somersault leg drop but Ashley moved and tagged Trish. Trish hit a series of forearms and then some chops to the chest. Trish hit a dropkick and then a shot to Candice. Trish hit the Stratusphere on Candice in the corner, and then a spinebuster on Victoria. Trish tossed Candice to the outside and then hit a Thesz press off the apron, and tagged Ashley. Ashley hit a cross body off the top on Victoria for the win!
Winners – Ashley and Trish Stratus
Mickie hit the ring and went after Ashley. Trish pulled her off and Mickie went back over for Ashley. Mickie is out of her mind. Trish pulled Mickie back and then Mickie hit the Mick Kick on Ashley! Trish yanked Mickie off again and Mickie went to the outside. Trish is pissed.
Mama Benjamin is shown backstage and Shelton comes in and asks what she is doing. She said she’s cleaning up, and she’s cleaning up all of the guys stuff in the locker room. Mama asked what the matter is with Shelton, and he said when he got to the building today, Shawn Michaels called him a Mama’s boy. Shelton said just because his Mama loves him enough to come to ringside doesn’t make him a Mama’s boy. She said Shelton is going to whip his behind, and if Shawn Michaels Mama was there, she’d whoop her too.
In the arena:
Lilian introduced Superstar Billy Graham to the crowd, and he is front row ringside tonight.
Referee: Chad Patton
The music of Shelton Benjamin hit in the arena as he made his way to the ring with his Mama, and he is set for action with Shawn Michaels here tonight! Before we could get underway, the music of Vince McMahon hit! McMahon said we interrupt this program to bring a special bulletin. He said if Shawn Michaels loses this match to Shelton Benjamin tonight, he will no longer be in the Royal Rumble!
Shelton and Michaels locked up and Michaels grabbed a side headlock and then a hammer lock. Benjamin reversed into a hammerlock of his own but Michaels reversed again. Benjamin elbowed out and then hit a shoulder block. Shelton went for a sunset flip but Michaels reversed and Benjamin took him over anyway for two. They locked up again and Benjamin took Michaels down with a side headlock and covered for two. Benjamin flipped over in the corner still with the headlock and took Michaels down again. Michaels sent Benjamin to the ropes, but Benjamin kept a hold of the headlock.
Benjamin hit a body block for two and then they tied up again and Michaels this time grabbed a side headlock. Michaels hit a shoulder block and then Benjamin went for a leap frog but walked into a chop, and then Michaels back dropped Benjamin to the outside. Mama checked on Shelton as Michaels went over. Michaels nailed another chop and sent Benjamin back into the ring. Benjamin grabbed another side headlock and then nailed a shoulder block. Michaels tossed Benjamin to the apron and dived back in at Michaels with a springboard, and Michaels went for the superkick like last year but Benjamin blocked it and hit a superkick of his own and Michaels was sent to the outside!
Back on RAW and Michaels is hung up in the corner and during the break, Michaels went shoulder first to the ring post. Benjamin suplexed Michaels back into the ring and then hammered at him with right hands. Benjamin then choked at Michaels before locking in a rear chin lock. The fans got behind Michaels as he fought out of the hold but then ran into a Samoan Drop for two. Benjamin hit a back body drop and covered for another two. Benjamin then locked in a rear naked choke with a body scissors. Michaels fought out but then Shelton hit an elbow to the face and then perched Michaels on the top rope. Benjamin slapped Michaels and went for a superplex but Michaels blocked and knocked Benjamin down. Michaels went for the top rope elbow, but Benjamin leaped up and hit a springboard enziguri to send Michaels to the outside!
Back on RAW and Michaels and Benjamin are trading chops and right hands. Michaels hit a swinging neckbreaker and then hit some right hands and chops. Michaels hit the flying forearm and then nipped up and hit the atomic drop. Michaels hit a pair of clotheslines and then a body slam before heading up top for the elbow drop. Mama climbed up the steps and distracted Michaels for a moment and then Benjamin leaped up to the top and hit a superplex for two out of nowhere! Benjamin hit the Splash in the corner and went for the T-Bone but Michaels elbowed him off and hit his modified back breaker for two! Benjamin then nailed the Dragon Whip and crawled into a cover, but Michaels kicked out again! Benjamin went for a springboard but Michaels ducked and then nailed a clothesline.
Michaels went up top for the elbow yet again and this time he nails it! Michaels started to tune up the band and then Mama got on the ring steps and distracted Michaels. Benjamin the rolled up Michaels and he had him over forever with a handful of tights, and then Michaels reversed the roll up and grabbed a handful of tights for the win!
Winner – Shawn Michaels
Edge and Lita arE shown and they are talking to someone. Edge said it wouldn’t matter about Cena because with him, they’d win. He’s talking to the Game! Triple H pondered it for a while, and said he’d think about it. Edge and Lita looked pleased.
Michaels is shown in the back and McMahon comes in. He said luck is once again riding on his shoulders, but when will it run out? Michaels asked why McMahon was doing this? He’s gone psycho on him, and if he upset him that much, then he’s sorry and do whatever it is that makes him happy. McMahon said that’s just what he’s going to do. McMahon said he’s going to spend some of that money he’s accumulated, and he intends on spending it on himself and having a good time. He said he’s going to turn this business back some thirty years, back to when he epitomized this business. Back to the all night parties, and he’s starting again tonight. He said he feels as though he has a right to do that, he’s Vince McMahon, and he’s going back to the all night parties, and not giving a damn about anybody and anything. He said you only go around once in this life, and he intends to go around like no one else in history. He asked Michaels if he wanted to delve in with him, and hasn’t he played the part long enough as the loving father, the loyal husband, being at peace with himself? McMahon asked him to walk on the wild side, what ever happened to that brattish, pill popping, son of a bitch Shawn Michaels? That’s the guy he wants to join him to go back where they belong. Michaels said no. McMahon said he disappoints him, and he’s going to tell him when his luck runs out, and it runs out at the Royal Rumble this Sunday, and he guaren-damn-tee’s it.
Royal Rumble Qualifying Match
The music of the Coach is playing in the arena, and he’s in the ring set for action in this final Rumble Qualifying Match against Jerry Lawler.
The two locked up and Coach grabbed a side headlock and then nailed a shoulder block for a one count. They locked up again and Coach backed Lawler to the corner, and then went for a splash but Lawler moved and Coach crotched himself. Lawler stomped on the hand of the Coach and then Coach came back with a kick to the gut and went for a suplex but Lawler blocked and hit one of his own. Lawler took down his strap, and then some weird music hit and the Spirit Squad came out to the stage! What the hell is this!?
These male cheerleaders, five in total, jumped around on the stand and then got in formation, and one flipped over. They made their way down to ringside as Lawler is in control of Coach. They danced around the ring chanting for the Coach and the crowd is dead. Coach went for the fist drop from the turnbuckle but they blew an air horn and distracted Lawler. Coach then rolled Lawler up and grabbed the ropes to get the win!
Winner – Jonathan Coachman
The Spirit Squad got in the ring and chanted more for the Coach. Fantastic.
Over The Top Rope Second Chance ChallengE
The music of the Big Show hit and these men have to get the Big Show over the ropes in order to qualify for the Royal Rumble match!
Helms went after Show and he knocked him away. Cade hammered away at Show and all three of them triple teamed the Big Show. They got Show halfway over and Conway went to shoulder block him out but Show knocked Cade down. Shown tossed Helms back into the ring and then caught Conway with a fallaway slam. Cade hit some right hands and then Show hit a knee to the gut and then a headbutt. Show tossed Cade out and then threw Conway over. Helms dived off the top and Show caught him and press slammed him out onto the other two and Show has won.
Winner – The Big Show
The music of Triple H hit in the arena and he made his way out in a suit. Triple H told Show to calm down and he isn’t going to come down and club him, but it does look like his hand is mending nicely. Triple H said the Big Show isn’t going to win the Royal Rumble, and neither are the other 28, that honor is reserved for him. Triple H said Edge is on his own tonight, because he’s done taking charity cases. He got rid of the last one that was stuck to him two months ago. He’s finished creating stars, and letting people stand by his side and bask in his glory. He said now, it’s for him. He said he will win the Royal Rumble and go to WrestleMania and compete for the WWE Championship. He said it doesn’t matter if it’s Edge or Cena, whoever has that title will step in the ring with the greatest wrestler alive, the Game. Triple H said at WrestleMania, the king of king’s goes back on his throne.
Referee: Michael Chioda
The music of Edge is playing in the arena and he’s in the ring as the WWE Champion with Lita, and we’re about to find out who his partner is, and it’s none other than Chris Masters! John Cena then made his way to the ring and he got on the mic and said he has a partner too, and his partner is from right here in Charlotte, his partner is the sixteen time World Heavyweight Champion, his champion is the Nature Boy Ric Flair!
Cena and Masters kicked things off, and Cena wanted Edge but Edge was having none of it. They locked up and Masters went for a right hand but Cena ducked and hit a series of his own. Cena hit a suplex and then tagged in Flair. Masters sent Flair to the corner and kicked away at him but then Flair came back with a series of chops. Masters went to the outside and Flair followed out and hit another chop before sending Masters back inside. Edge went for a cheap shot but Flair chopped at him too, and then went to work on Masters some more.
Masters came back with a press slam on Flair and Flair went to the outside. Edge hit a suplex on the floor as Masters distracted the referee. Masters then went out and rammed Flair back first into the ring apron. Edge stomped at the head of Flair and then Masters suplexed him back into the ring from the apron. Edge tagged in and walked into some chops from Flair but then Edge came back with right hands and tagged Masters back in. Masters hit a powerslam for a two count and then locked in a bear hug. Flair fought out and nailed more chops but then Masters nailed him with another press slam. Edge tagged in and went for a cross body but Flair moved out of the way.
Flair made the tag to Cena and Edge tagged in Masters. Cena hit a clothesline, and then another. Cena hit a back body drop and then tossed Edge in the ring and hit him with a clothesline and a flying shoulder. Cena hit a side slam on Masters and then went for the FU on Edge but Lita is on the apron and pulled him out. Masters then nailed Cena from behind and went for the Master Lock but Flair came in with a chop block and then Cena hit the FU and locked in the STFU for the win!
Winners – John Cena and Ric Flair
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