The fireworks went off in the arena for the start of RAW as Joey Styles and Jerry Lawler welcomed us to the show! Tonight, Vince McMahon promises to take out the trash, and all week long newspapers nation wide have been reporting Ric Flair’s road rage incident, and tonight he will be the special guest on the debut edition of the “Cutting Edge”, plus Shawn Michaels will team with Shelton Benjamin to take on Carlito and Kurt Angle!
In the arena:
The music of Vince McMahon hit in the arena, and a garbage truck drove down the aisle with Vince driving it, and he looks set to take out the trash! The ring is decked out with a rep carpet, two podiums and a big leather chair in the middle. Vince got on the mic and said last week, he told Eric Bischoff that if he didn’t achieve his objectives, it would be time to take out the trash, and unfortunately he failed again last week, so what we have here is a trash truck, and the only thing that’s missing is the trash itself, so it’s time to face and the music and he introduced Eric Bischoff to the ring. Bischoff made his way down the aisle and he doesn’t look to be in good spirits here tonight. Bischoff took a microphone as the fans chanted “you suck” at him. Bischoff said this job is more to him than a job, this is not about what he does, this job is about who he is. He said that before this goes any further, he’s pleading with him to keep his job as General Manager of RAW. McMahon said before he goes any further, you might ask yourself why he has two podiums out here and a chair on a raised platform. He said he is a fair man, and he thinks everyone should have their day in court, because for the first time tonight, live on RAW, will be the trail of Eric Bischoff! He said he has appointed himself the judge, Bischoff is the defense and he has appointed a man to represent him…and he is…the music of the Coach then hit as he made his way down as Eric Bischoff’s defense attorney! Coach told Bischoff that he has this, and not to worry about a thing.
Vince sat in the leather chair as Coach said his client, Eric Bischoff, is an asshole! Bischoff looked confused as Coach went on to say Bischoff is not your friend, and does not get paid to be your friend. He gets paid to deliver the most exciting show in sports entertainment, and that’s exactly what he has done for four years, and by the end of the night, Coach will prove not only does Bischoff deserve to keep his job, but will also deserve a raise! McMahon then introduced the prosecution, and Mick Foley’s music hit! Foley made his way down, and instead of a briefcase, he had a lunchbox! The fans heavily chanted “Foley, Foley” as he took a mic and said he can honestly state that no one has done more to benefit RAW than Eric Bischoff. When Eric was running WCW, Bischoff announced live on air that Mick Foley, wrestling as Mankind, would win the WWE Championship. Eric tried to destroy the best night of his career, but instead, half a million fans switched from WCW programming to RAW and made a huge change in the Monday Night Wars and that was very generous, but as a General Manager, Bischoff is conniving and deceitful, and he will prove he has failed miserably in his attempts to entertain the general public. McMahon thanked them for the opening comments, and the trail will resume in the WWE court of law, in which by the end of the night, Eric Bischoff will keep his job, or it will be time to take out the trash!
World Tag Team Championship Match
Back on RAW and the music of the Big Show hit, and then Kane’s pyro exploded as they made their way to the ring as the World Tag Team Champions, and they are set to defend in a fatal four way here on RAW with Viscera and Val Venis, Snitsky and Tyson Tomko and the Heart Throbs! Styles announced that at Armageddon, Kane and Big Show will take on Batista and Rey Mysterio.
We are underway and Kane and Show started to clean house and then Show nailed a side slam on Venis while Viscera nailed a splash on Kane in the corner. Show and Viscera then got face to face and Kane nailed Viscera from behind. Kane and Show hit a double chokeslam on Viscera and then Snitsky got in the ring and they hit a double big boot to him. Antonio went for a crossbody but Show caught him and tossed him to the floor on top of Viscera.
Show brought Romeo into the ring and Kane nailed him with a clothesline and not Venis is back in. Show whipped Kane hard into Venis in the corner and then Show splashed him too! Tomko came in but got laid out and then Kane and Show grabbed Venis, Romeo and Tomko and gave them a triple chokeslam for the win! Kane and Show have destroyed everyone!
Kane hit his pyro as he and Show celebrated their victory.
We are taken to the trial of Eric Bischoff, and it’s in some weird court room somewhere. Vince is the judge and Coach is sat with Bischoff while Foley is sat alone. Chris Masters is the bailiff, shirtless I might add. Foley approached the bench and called his first witness, Miss Stephanie McMahon! McMahon made her way out and Foley said Stephanie has been a General Manager in the past, and in her expert opinion did Bischoff behave in the correct manner. Stephanie said both she and her brother believe Eric Bischoff should be removed from office. We then go to the video footage, which is of Smackdown! in 2002 on Halloween, with Bischoff dressed as McMahon and then forced himself on Stephanie, and then Stephanie started to like it. Back to court, and Stephanie said Bischoff violated her and she hasn’t got the taste out of her mouth. Coach objected and Vince yelled “SHUT UP”.
WWE In Afghanistan:
We are taken to footage of WWE entertaining the troops last year in Iraq, and this year they will be doing the same in Afghanistan! Art Myers, the director of something or other, is shown watching the show.
Referee: Michael Chioda
The music of Trish Stratus hit in the arena as she made her way to the ring as the Women’s Champion along with Mickie James, and Mickie will be in action here with Victoria who was accompanied by Torrie Wilson and Candice Michelle.
Mickie and Victoria locked up and Mickie went for a quick roll up for two. Mickie then nip a snapmare and a dropkick to the face. Victoria begged off, but then pulled Mickie into the ropes. Victoria stomped away on Mickie and then tossed her outside. Torrie and Candice went for her but Mickie fought them off. Mickie then nailed Victoria and tossed her back in the ring, but then walked into a powerslam. Victoria slammed Mickie face first into the canvas and then went to work with right hands.
Victoria hit a bodyslam, and then stood on Mickie and hit the standing moonsault for two. Victoria slammed Mickie’s wrist into the turnbuckle and then took her down. Victoria worked on the arm but Mickie came back with forearm shots. Mickie then hit some left and right jabs, but then Victoria nailed her and Mickie’s wrist is hurt. Victoria ate an elbow in the corner and then Mickie hit the headscissors in the corner. Mickie nailed a pair of clotheslines and then a flying forearm and covered for two.
Mickie hit a spinning back kick, a front kick and then a spin kick and then pulled Torrie into the ring. Mickie stomped on Torrie and then hit another spin kick to Victoria. Candice then got on the apron and while Mickie was distracted with her, Victoria rolled up Mickie for the win.
Winner – Victoria
Trish entered the ring and Mickie looked pissed towards Trish for not helping her, but they made up.
Back in court and Tajiri in is there talking a bunch of Japanese. A translator says Tajiri has been a huge star in Japan and ECW but Bischoff ignores this. She says he wishes a pregnant rhinocerous shoves a mighty horn up his anal crevice. Tajiri then says “Bischoff, I hope you get fired!” Coach says he has no question for Tajiri, but they have a request, and Tajiri needs to get back to the arena as soon as possible because he has a match with Triple H! Tajiri is pissed as Foley called his next witness, and it’s Mae Young with the Fabulous Moolah!
Back on RAW:
Back on RAW and Mae is babbling about a penis, and Coach said there is no evidence that Bischoff doesn’t have a penis. Foley said he can prove that Bischoff has had a strange relationship with WWE superstars and we go to footage of Mae Young making out with Bischoff at Bad Blood 2003 in the Red Neck Triathlon. Coach said the witness is old, senile and over sexed. Vince said the witness may step down as Coach called his witness, and it’s a RAW superstar who was hand picked by Bischoff, our very own bailiff Chris Masters. Masters took the stand and Coach asked his name and he said “Chris Masters” and Vince said this witness has committed perjury and his name is Mordetsky not Masters, and he is disqualified!
Shelton Benjamin is shown getting ready and Shawn Michaels comes in. He said Shelton has a home state crowd, and he has to have a good showing. Michaels put over Benjamin’s accomplishments and then said a career in WWE has amounted to a big fat zero. He said the night he faced Michaels he was never better and took him to the limit, and since then he has been going downhill and downhill fast. Michaels said in this line of work, no one is better than him, he might not be all that popular but he’s successful. He asked Benjamin if he wants friends of success, and asked him what he’s going to do about it. Benjamin said Michaels wants an attitude? Then you’ll get an attitude. Michaels looked pleased as he has fired Benjamin up here tonight.
Coach said he has just got off the phone with a witness, and he will be here in a few moments.
Referee: Chad Patton
Back on RAW and Lance Cade is already in the ring set for action, and he will be facing Chavo Guerrero!
Chavo and Cade locked up and Chavo backed him to the corner but Cade reversed and then hit a knee to the gut. Cade ate a boot on a corner charge and then Chavo went to work with lefts and rights and an uppercut. Cade then tossed Chavo to the outside and followed out and nailed Chavo in the back and then picked him up and rammed him into the ring post. Cade tossed Chavo back inside as the fans chanted “Eddie, Eddie” in support of Chavo.
Cade hit a backbreaker for a two count and then slapped him around some. Chavo then nailed a standing dropkick and then a nice uppercut. Chavo went to work with right hands on Cade but then Cade rammed him into the corner. Cade kicked away at Chavo and then choked him in the corner before going for a suplex but Chavo reversed into a DDT! Chavo then went up top and came off with the Frog Splash for the win!
Winner – Chavo Guerrero
Back in court and Coach has Daivari in the stand. He says that Bischoff gave Daivari an opportunity and Daivari said Bischoff has handled his job with class and dignity. He said Foley was pathetic as commissioner, and it’s obvious that Bischoff should remain General Manager of RAW. McMahon had his earphones in and said he was listening to Ashlee Simpson on his new iPod and Christ she sucks! McMahon said Daivari will not be refereeing Kurt Angle’s match tonight, and that we are going to take a recess. Foley then opened the box and stuck into some Moon Pie!
The Cutting Edge:
The ring is decked out with a black carpet, and there are two stools in the middle of the ring. Edge is in there with Lita, and it’s time for the Cutting Edge with Ric Flair, who was arrested last week on road rage charges. Edge got on the mic and welcomed us to the first ever edition of the Cutting Edge. He said this show is different and they will ask questions that everyone is afraid to ask. He introduced himself as the Rated R Superstar, and by his side, the only lady hot enough to be on this show, the lovely Lita. Lita then asked if she caught him staring at her boobs, because she doesn’t mind. Edge said everyone else on RAW is PG13, and they can’t find a guest for this show. She said if anyone caught a glimpse of him destroying Dmitri Young they should be scared. He said this week, Ric Flair has backed out after legal advice. Edge said this is “Flair Country” but Lita said no, this is “Edge Country”. Edge said he likes that and that’s why Ric was afraid to come on the show tonight, because if he was on here, all those years he prided himself of being the dirtiest player in the game, well it seems he pulled someone over to the side of the road and beat the crap out of him. He said Ric has gone from this (a picture of Flair in his prime was shown) to this (Flair mug shot). Edge then mocked Flair and Lita said it sounds like Flair was having some insecurity issues as he can’t get it done in the ring anymore. She said he has been reduced to beating men up on the street and let’s not get started on his personal life. Slaughter and Michael Hayes came out and Edge said “Vince said I’ve gone too far?” and they are signalling him to come to the back. Lita called them two legends who earn a check by kissing McMahon’s ass.
They then got into the ring and Edge says he gets it, someone told Hayes he had a bottle of Jack Daniels. Hayes said let’s go, the show is over. Hayes then said he swears to god, they come out here running their mouth and don’t care about anyone or anything, and they have no respect for the business that people like him and Slaughter and Flair built. They wait around in their rent a cars and guaranteed contracts but he respects Flair because he gave his life to the business and as a sixteen time World Champion, he will give him the benefit of the doubt. Hayes then said he has a question, how many times has Edge been in the main event? How many times has he sold out the arena? How many times have you been World Champion? Edge got pissed as Hayes told him the math won’t take long, zero! Edge got Hayes mic cut as Hayes told him it’s time to go. Edge teased Hayes to hit him. Edge said Hayes doesn’t have his best friend Terry Gordy anymore, oh wait, Terry Gordy’s dead. Hayes looked pissed and called Edge a son of a bitch and said the only reason he has this show is because he’s banging Matt Hardy’s ex girlfriend! Edge then nailed Hayes and Slaughter, and then Hayes went for Edge but Lita got on his back and Edge nailed him with the briefcase! Edge and Lita stood over the fallen legends as he made his way to the back.
Referee: Mickey Henson
Back on RAW and Tajiri is in the ring ready for action, and he’ll be facing Triple H!
We are underway with Tajiri going to work with kicks in the corner. Tajiri went for the handspring but Triple H hit a clothesline to the back of the neck. Triple H worked over Tajiri in the corner with right hands and then nailed a vertical suplex. Triple H mocked Tajiri and then charged at him in the corner but Tajiri nailed some chops and then hit the handspring elbow.
Tajiri went for the Tarantula in the corner but Triple H tossed Tajiri outside and then whipped him hard into the barricade. Back in the ring and Triple H hit a superkick but then ran into a spinebuster. Triple H went for the Pedigree and nailed it for the win.
Winner – Triple H
Back in court and McMahon said the trail will continue and Coach called his next witness and it’s a man who is no longer on the RAW roster, Simon Dean. Dean’s music hit but he didn’t come out and McMahon asked where the hell his witness is? The Boogeyman’s music then hit and he raised from the stand with worms hanging out of his mouth. Boogeyman laughed and said Eric B, listen to me! As the time grows near, the future becomes clear, that you don’t belong here! I’m the Boogeyman, and I’m coming to getcha! Boogeyman then knocked the clock over his own head and went back down and McMahon looked weirded out and Mick is sitting there eating cookies enjoying the whole thing!
In the arena:
Rita Cosby from MSNBC Live and Direct is shown in the crowd enjoying the show.
Triple H is shown backstage and walks into the Big Show. Show said there he is again, walking around like a tough guy. He said Triple H’s time has come, and to see how tough he is when he faces Show in the ring.
Back in court and Foley calls his final witness, Maria! Maria said she wants Foley to ask her with Mr. Socko, and McMahon said it was ok. Foley put Socko on and he wants to know her honest opinion of Eric Bischoff. She said last week Bischoff abused his power and it’s this rash discourse that has led to a locker room of disdain and it should be grounds for his immediate dismissal! Maria got smart!? Coach said he would like to call a final witness…but McMahon said we will adjourn and this will continue back in the arena.
Referee: Jack Doan
It’s main event time on RAW as the music of Kurt Angle hit in the arena as he made his way to the ring with Daivari, to censored “you suck” chants and he’ll be teaming up with Carlito to take on Shawn Michaels and Shelton Benjamin!
Benjamin kicked things off with Carlito in a lock up and Benjamin grabbed a side headlock and then worked the arm with an arm bar and then a hammerlock. Carlito elbowed out but then Benjamin nailed him with a right hand and then a belly to belly followed by a series of right hands. Carlito backed off and tagged in Angle.
Angle and Benjamin locked up and Angle took him down and started to work the leg but Benjamin kicked him off and then hit an arm drag and then a clothesline. Carlito came in and he hit a flapjack and then Benjamin flipped out of a German suplex attempt by Angle and then Benjamin hit the Dragon Whip on Angle and he and Carlito bailed to the outside and Shelton Benjamin is on fire tonight as we go to commercial. Back on RAW and Michaels and Carlito are in the ring and Michaels sent Carlito to the corner and charged in but ate an elbow. Carlito stomped away on Michaels but he came back with a swinging neckbreaker.
Benjamin tagged back in and nailed a series of clothesline on Carlito and then hit a modified backbreaker for a two count. Carlito then backdropped Benjamin to the apron and hit a knee lift to Carlito, and then knocked Angle off the apron but Daivari then distracted Benjamin allowing Angle to attack from behind. Back inside and Carlito covered for two and then hammered away at Benjamin out of frustration. Angle tagged in and kicked Benjamin in the mid section and then unloaded with right hands and stomps in the corner. Angle distracted the referee while Carlito choked Benjamin and then Benjamin came back with right hands to Angle but then got caught in an overhead belly to belly.
Carlito tagged in and stomped away at Benjamin but Benjamin came back with shots to the mid section but Carlito hammered him back down and covered for two. Angle tagged in and nailed a German suplex for two and then locked in a waist lock on the mat. Benjamin elbowed out but Angle hammered him in the back and went for the Angle Slam but Benjamin reversed into a nice DDT! Angle tagged Carlito and Benjamin tagged in Michaels who hit some right hands and then a flying forearm and nipped up to hit the atomic drop and then a clothesline, followed by another.
Michaels hit a scoop slam and then knocked Angle off the apron before heading up top for the elbow drop and nailed it! Michaels started to tune up the band for some Sweet Chin Music but then Benjamin tagged him in the middle of it and went for a high cross body but Carlito rolled him up into the pinfall!
Winners – Carlito and Kurt Angle
Benjamin didn’t look happy and Benjamin can’t believe he lost. Michaels shook his head and look very frustrated. Michaels offered his hand to Benjamin and Benjamin didn’t take it and got up of his own accord and then shoved Michaels away. Michaels stared at Benjamin and then Benjamin left the ring and he doesn’t look at all happy.
A black limo pulled up and Vince and Stephanie emerged from it. Triple H then showed up and told Vince he looks good, but he wants him to hear from his number one guy that he thinks Eric Bischoff should stay. He said he’d rather deal with the devil he knows, than the devil he don’t know. McMahon said Triple H only wants Bischoff to stay because he can manipulate him. Vince then introduced Triple H to Stephanie and they shared a moment, smiling at each other, before we went to commercial.
In the arena:
Back on RAW and Foley took the mic and said Eric Bischoff has abused his power for too long. You’ve got the truck, for the love of god, let’s use it! It’s time to take out the trash! Coach then went to speak but Bischoff took the mic. Bischoff said Vince may consider his tenure as GM as a joke, but he doesn’t. He said since he’s been here, he’s done some terrible things, but before he came here he said controversy creates cash, and he has created a ton of both. He said he doesn’t give a damn about the people, but he does care about the money, and he’s proven time and time again that he knows how to separate the people from the cash. Proof? Two words, Elimination Chamber. It spiked buyrates and sold arenas and he’s still the General Manager and he says we have the Elimination Chamber headline the next PPV for the WWE Title, and Vince knows it will sell. Bischoff said he and McMahon are a lot alike, maybe they are both hated, but more importantly, they are both respected. They got things done. Bischoff asked if he could please keep his job as General Manager and together they will make a fortune! McMahon said he made some good points, and then the music of John Cena hit in the arena as he made his way to the ring as the WWE Champion!
Cena got on the mic and said to relax, and said he isn’t out here to tell him what he thinks of Bischoff, he thinks he’s a jackoff. He said Bischoff claims he is a great man, but he has taken away the best part of Monday Night RAW. When Kurt Angle comes down to the ring, Bischoff is backstage with his finger on the button and he bleeps out the fans when they say “you suck” because Bischoff doesn’t like it. He said McMahon is a pioneer for free speech and he’s dressed in a robe and looks ridiculous and he’s loving it, and Bischoff is a pioneer for censorship. Cena then introduces us to ten thousand surprise witnesses. Cena sits on the top rope and asks them if Eric Bischoff should remain the General Manager, and they booed. He then asked if they want to see him fired, and they cheered. Cena said the people have summed up Bischoff’s career in two letters. FU. McMahon said he will take it to the people and asks them if they want to see the WWE Championship defended in an Elimination Chamber, and it got a decent reaction, so at the next PPV, New Year’s Revolution, the WWE Title will be on the line in the Elimination. Everyone will see, but unfortunately for Bischoff, he won’t! ERIC BISCHOFF…YOU’RE FIRRRRRRRRRRRED!!!! Cena then gave Bischoff then FU in the middle of the ring and then sent him to the outside. McMahon then helped Bischoff up and picked him up and threw him into the back of the garbage truck and it started compacting and McMahon then got in the truck and took out the trash!
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