RAW opened up with footage from last week with Eric Bischoff revealing the main event of Taboo Tuesday to be WWE Champion John Cena vs. Kurt Angle vs. either Kane, The Big Show or Shawn Michaels.
Triple Threat Match
The music of Shawn Michaels hit in the arena as he made his way down to the ring to kick things off on RAW, and he will be facing Kane and the Big Show in a Triple Threat Match!
Kane and Michaels both went after Show but he fought them off and nailed Kane with a headbutt and then took Michaels down and went for a quick win but Kane made the save. Show nailed a shoulderblock on Kane but he didn’t budge, but then took him down with a clothesline for two. Show chopped away at Michaels in the corner and called for the chokeslam on Kane but Michaels gave him a chopblock and then they double teamed Show.
Kane and Michaels sent Show to the outside and then Michaels took over on Kane with a chop, but Kane whipped Michaels hard to the corner sending him inside out before hitting a side walk slam and then an elbow drop. Show pulled Kane to the outside and nailed him with a clothesline and then got back into the ring. Show’s nose is busted. Show press slammed Michaels over the ropes onto Kane on the outside as we go to commercial!
Back on RAW and Show and Kane are going at in with Kane unloading with right hands, and during the break Michaels was dumped on the outside. Show came back with a powerslam and covered but Michaels broke it up. Michaels chopped away at Show and went for a shoulderblock but Show didn’t move, so Michaels nipped up and Show went for a chokeslam but Kane made the save. Kane hit a clothesline on Show in the corner and then tossed Michaels to the outside.
Show delivered some mounted punches on Show in the corner, and then choked away at him. Kane gave Show a big uppercut and then scored with a back suplex. Kane went to the top rope but Show cut him off and started to climb up and scored with a monster superplex! Michaels then climbed up top and nailed the flying elbow on Show! Michaels went for Sweet Chin Music on Show and scored with it but then Kane levelled Michaels with a clothesline!
Kane covered Show but Show kicked out and Kane is hurt or pissed. Kane tossed chairs into the ring and then levelled Show in the head with one while the referee was getting rid of the other chairs! Kane laughed and got back into the ring via the top rope and went for a clothesline but Michaels came in and nailed him with Sweet Chin Music. Michaels then nailed it on Big Show too, and Michaels has done it!
Winner – Shawn Michaels
Michaels pulled himself up, and voting begins for Taboo Tuesday at the start of the second hour!
John Cena will go one on one with Kurt Angle with Mick Foley as the special guest referee!
In the arena:
Jerry Lawler got on the mic and said he wanted to interact to the fans in Fresno. He asked them how many think Coach is doing a good job? They booed. He then asked if they enjoyed seeing Coach get embarrassed last week by Steve Austin? They cheered. He then wanted to take another look at it, so we did. Lawler said the Coach vs. Austin match at Taboo Tuesday will be interesting, but it’s up the fan to decide the type of match. It can be a verbal debate (boos), an arm wrestling match (boo) or a street fight (cheers). Coach took the mic and asked if this was funny to Lawler. He said he is not afraid of Stone Cold Steve Austin; in fact he is going to call Austin out, right now. He said he will walk down to the ring and he is daring Austin to meet him in the ring face to face! Coach made his way down to the ring as we went to commercial.
Back on RAW:
Back on RAW and Coach is in the ring, and said he will drag Austin out if he isn’t out here on the count of three. The glass then shattered as the truck was shown hurling through the backstage area! The truck drove down to ringside and then out of the sun roof is Stephanie McMahon with a beer and Austin hat! Coach laughed in the ring as Stephanie made her way to the ring. Stephanie is wearing an unbelievable outfit nearly popping out. Coach said his heart was racing, she almost had him. She said Coach deserves an Emmy for his performance, and since you haven’t figured it out yet, Stone Cold will not be here tonight. Coach said he isn’t going to back down, and if Austin even dares to show up next Monday, the Coach is calling him out. Stephanie said that’s the attitude that has him sitting next to King as the new voice of RAW. She said Coach is doing an outstanding job, and JR did have successful colon surgery this week. She said the McMahon family is incredibly happy for him. One week from tomorrow, Taboo Tuesday, the Coach will be in the ring with Austin. If Austin wins, JR will be rehired, and if Coach beats Austin, Austin would be fired. She said he would be doing a great service to her and her family if he beats Austin. She said her dad will be here later tonight, and he has a surprise later tonight. The music of Mick Foley then hit in the arena as he made his way down to the ring!
Foley got on the mic and Coach left. She told Foley to get it out of his system. He said he couldn’t sit in the back a second longer, and listen to someone who is full of crap. She said JR was full of crap…but that was taken care of. Foley said he doesn’t find colon surgery to be all that humorous. He said back in the day, she went out of her way to make his life a living hell. He got the fans to call Vince an asshole, and her mother, the sane one, to see her lower herself to their level makes him sick. He said he couldn’t sit back and watch her destroy the business that he loves. She said without her and her family, there would be no business. She said that he wants to come out here and intimidate her, sure he talks tough, but let’s see how tough he talks to his opponent at Taboo Tuesday. The music of Carlito then hit in the arena as he made his way down to the ring. With Foley distracted, Stephanie kicked him in the nuts and then Carlito came in and went to work on him with stomps and right hands. Carlito continued to hammer away on Foley and then gave Foley a knee to the nuts. Carlito took a bite from the apple as Foley tried to pull himself up. Carlito knocked him back down and spat the apple in the face of Mick Foley.
Foley is shown backstage in pain, and Bischoff comes in and tells him to suck it up. He said no matter how badly his pride has been injured, he’s still the referee in the main event. Have a nice night.
Referee: Michael Chioda
The music of Triple H hit in the arena as he made his way down to the ring, and he will be facing Viscera in one on one action here tonight. Flair then came out of nowhere and blindsided Triple H during his entrance! Triple H threw him into the ring steps. Both men traded right hands at ringside and a bunch of referees came down but they got knocked down and Flair got some shots in. Triple H jumped at Flair as more agents made their way down to separate the two. Flair jumped on Triple H in the aisle and the referees finally broke it up. Ric Flair got into the ring and threw his shoe into the crowd. He got on the mic and said please, put him in a cage with that SOB. Flair was going nuts, screaming “a cage, a cage!” Woo! I guess Viscera gets the night off!
Outside the arena:
JBL’s limo is shown arriving backstage, and he emerged from it and Smackdown! is here on RAW!
Back on RAW:
We are taken outside and Bischoff and security are confronting JBL, telling him he will be no part of RAW tonight, and that Smackdown! isn’t welcome. Footage is shown from Smackdown! this past Friday. Edge, Lita and Masters are now in the ring and Edge said JBL is probably here to get answers, like why did he spear Mysterio instead of JBL. Edge said no one cares about JBL, not him, not even the Smackdown! locker room. He said Rey Mysterio is a bigger star than him, that’s why he brought the Masterpiece with him. He said at Taboo Tuesday, it’s official, it’s RAW vs. Smackdown, Edge and Chris Masters vs. two of Smackdown’s superstars. Masters said in a few minutes they will get to choose who it will be. Masters introduced us to the five options. The first was Matt Hardy, and Edge laughed and said he didn’t know they could invent another match for him to beat him in. He asked Lita to remind him why Hardy is on Smackdown in the first place. She said he beat Hardy’s ass and put him there! Next was Rey Mysterio. Masters said the good news for Rey is that Taboo Tuesday is in San Diego, so it will be a short ride home from the hospital.
Next was Christian. Edge said it’s his good old buddy, they all remember it. He said he carried Christian for the first six years, so what’s one more match. He wished Christian congratulations as the only superstar to get less votes than Hardy. Next was Hardcore Holly. Masters said a man who walks around with bleach blonde hair and wears spandex would probably want him in the shower not the ring, and the Masterpiece doesn’t swing that way. The last choice is JBL, the wrestling god. Edge said JBL was on a sinking ship. Masters called him Mr. Suckdown. JBL told Masters to do the English language a favour, and said he knows Edge doesn’t have the guts to come out there and face him. He told Masters to come out here and try and put the Master Lock on, Monkey boy. Masters made his way to the back as Edge said it doesn’t matter who gets voted it, he’s the bigger superstar. Masters ran through the backstage and made his way to the parking lot. Masters got in JBL’s face and JBL said there was one small problem and he fell for the oldest trick in the book! Masters was confused as Mysterio hit the ring and dropkicked Edge from behind! Mysterio then hit the 619 on Lita and made his way back through the crowd. Edge checked on Lita as we went to commercial!
Referee: Chad Patton
The music of Trish Stratus hit in the arena as she made her way to the ring with Ashley and Mickie James, and Mickie will be in action here on RAW against Victoria who was accompanied by Torrie Wilson and Candice Michelle.
James and Victoria locked up and Victoria grabbed a side headlock and then took James down to the canvas. Victoria gave James a knee to the head and then a shoulder to the gut. James came back with a sunset flip for two and then a kick to the mid section but missed a dropkick. Victoria stomped James in the mid section but James came back with right hands. Victoria nailed a clothesline for a near fall and then locked in a rear naked choke.
James hit an elbow in the corner and then nailed a huricanrana and then a clothesline. James nailed another clothesline and then a takedown for two. Victoria went for a suplex but James rolled her up for the win!
Winner – Mickie James
Vince McMahon is shown walking down the hallway, and it looks like he is making his way to the arena!
In the arena:
The music of Vince McMahon hit in the arena as he made his way down to the ring. Vince said he doesn’t like it when the people second guess the decisions of his family, so when his wife Linda decided to fire JR, his ass is fired! He decided to hire the Coach to take JR’s place, then frankly, the Coach is the man. McMahon said JR served them well, but he knew he was full of crap. The fans chanted “we want JR” as McMahon said if god wanted to give the United States an enema, then he would stick it in Fresno. The fans chanted “asshole” at McMahon, and he said that is the subject of the night, they are right. He said whenever a superstar is injured and requires surgery; they are always there with their cameras. Same was true on Tuesday when JR had colon surgery. He said the footage is graphic in nature, and we are talking about a bowel blockage. They had to take a foot of bowel out of JR’s body. We go to the footage and it’s a skit with Vince acting as the doctor, with some hot nurse. A fart noise came out of the asshole as Vince started to hit on the nurse and clips of JR saying “good god” was spliced in.
Fart noises and the Oklahoma fight song came from the ass as Vince rubbed lube over his hands and shoved them up the ass and Vince then filled a bottle and said it was BBQ sauce! Vince said there was more in there and pulled out a football! He said there’s something else up there and pulled out what the hell is that!? An owl? JR why do you have an owl in your ass! Vince said he has to open JR up and used a plunger on his ass and pulled out Mae Young’s other hand! Vince said he smells something fishy, and it was a goldfish! McMahon asked the for “instrument” and it will a crowbar and wedged it in and clips of JR screaming were put in there. Vince said he can see all the way…and pulled out a football helmet and there’s more! Vince then got a pneumatic drill and drilled JR’s asshole and said you can see all the way to China, and pulled out an Austin head toy, and kept repeating “Stone Cold”. Vince asked for the jaws of life, and Vince and the nurse looked in there and they pulled hard and out came JR’s head…Vince said they solved the problem, he had his head up his ass! McMahon said they need to relieve the tension, and shoved JR off the table and picked the nurse up and got on top of her as we went back to the arena. McMahon said based off the reaction he got here tonight, he suggests everyone here is just like JR, they have their head up their ass, thank you very much. This was ridiculously STUPID.
Non Title Match
The music of the World Tag Team Champions is playing in the arena, and they are set for action against Rosey and the Hurricane, but Rosey made his way to the ring by himself after what happened last week on RAW with Hurricane slapping Rosey during the commercial.
Rosey knocked Murdoch off the apron and then Cade took over on him with right hands. Hurricane then made his way out to the stage wearing a shirt and sunglasses, and has stubble. Coach said he now wants to be known as Gregory Helms, his real name. Cade and Murdoch sent Rosey to the outside and then Cade took over with an elbow drop. Murdoch nailed a knee lift as Helms looked on shaking his head.
Murdoch acted as Rosey’s partner and Rosey actually tagged him and Murdoch nailed right hands and then tagged in Cade. Cade nailed an elbow from the top on Rosey but then Rosey fought back with right hands but then got knocked down by a flying shoulder. Murdoch and Cade gave Rosey a suplex and then hit the Sweet and Sour for the win.
Winners – Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch
Helms looked on with an emotionless look as we go to commercial.
Non Title Match
The music of Mick Foley hit in the arena as he made his way down to the ring as the special guest referee, and he doesn’t look to be in the best of shape after what happened earlier tonight. The music of Kurt Angle then hit as he made his way down to the ring and he will be facing WWE Champion John Cena here tonight in a non title match, but will get his shot at the gold a week tomorrow at Taboo Tuesday.
Cena and Angle locked up with Angle taking Cena down. Cena came back with a shoulderblock, and then another and Angle bailed to the outside, and the crowd is rabid here. Another lock up and Angle took Cena down and grabbed a side headlock. Cena whipped him off and Angle came back with a shoulderblock but then Cena nailed a hip toss and then a scoop slam and went for an elbow but Angle moved. Cena kicked Angle square in the face and then clotheslined him to the outside as we went to commercial.
Back on RAW and Cena is down on the outside of the ring and then Angle went out and wrenched at the face of Cena. Angle tossed Cena back inside and gave him a suplex for a two count. Angle gave Cena a knee to the head and then sent him headfirst to the buckle before unloading with right hands and an uppercut. Angle choked Cena over the middle rope with his boot and then gave him a backbreaker for two. Cena locked in a body scissors and then a side headlock but Cena elbowed out but Angle caught him with a belly to belly.
Angle gave Cena another belly to belly and this time covered for two. Angle argued with Cena and Foley pushed him and then Cena rolled Angle up for a near fall! Cena nailed right hands and then a sunset flip for two. Cena nailed a headbutt but then Angle came back with a German suplex for a two count. Angle locked in a bear hug on the mat and slid over into a cover for two before going back to the bearhug. Cena fought out and nailed a DDT and then both men traded right hands with Cena coming out on top. Cena nailed a pair of clotheslines and then a flying shoulder and then a fisherman’s suplex for two!
Carlito hit the ring but Foley nailed him and then went to work on him on the outside but then Carlito sent him into the ring steps! Carlito then dropped Foley with a DDT on the outside and back in the ring, Cena hit a side slam. Cena nailed the five knuckle shuffle and went for the FU but Bischoff made his way down in a referee shirt and stopped it. Cena went after Bischoff but Angle locked in the ankle lock! Bischoff yelled at Cena to tap and he almost made the ropes but Bischoff grabbed his hand and forced it to the mat to make it tap.
Winner – Kurt Angle
Cena tossed Angle to the outside and he doesn’t look happy as Angle motioned that he has beaten Cena three times since coming to RAW. Cena’s ankle seemed to be in pain, and could we see the end of Cena’s WWE Title reign at Taboo Tuesday?!
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