**SPOILERS** WWE Friday SmackDown! Taping Results

Keith Wilcutt


Thanks to Richard & Rajah for the following:

Change of ring, out come Tazz and Cole to a huge pop and here it is…

Smackdown has back to the Erwin Center!

Teddy Long and the Network Guy come out to proclaim Monday’s invasion of Raw a huge success, and that it will happen again. Suddenly, the Orton clan interrupt and point out that they were the first ones to invade Raw, not

Long. They demand the ring to themselves and show footage of Piper and Foley getting RKO’d. Cue the pipes… it’s Piper, with a lead pipe, clearing house and… saying nothing. Odd.

Booker T (w/Sharmel) def. Orlando Jordan. Seems somebody is actually remembering what valets are supposed to do, as Sharmel really pumped up the crowd for Booker. And, on another note, those pyros are hot. I was the far side of the cameras and still felt them from there.

JBL cuts a promo from the lobby, then walks down through the crowd, beating up a Rey Mysterio teddy bear and accusing the Hispanic population of Texas of turning it into North Mexico. He then said that UT would loose the Red River shootout this weekend (note to Mack Brown – give Sam a shot). Now that got heat.

Video promo for Orton/Taker at No Mercy and then it’s Ken Kennedy AGAIN. They must really like this guy. Anyway, he’s guest commentator for our next match, in which Sylvan unconvincingly beat Bob Holly after a mike-shot from

Kennedy, thus setting up Kennedy/Holly at No Mercy. Let’s see of Kennedy can really hang, shall we?

Now it’s backstage, where someone remembers that Rowdy Roddy Piper is best with a mike. A great promo cut on Cowboy Bob, confirming the Ortons versus Piper for later tonight. Video for Raw, video for No Mercy and it’s back to

the wrestling.

Road Warriors and Burchill/Regal fight to a No Contest after a run-in by MnM. Seems that one of the most promising tag teams in years, Burchill and Regal, has become fodder for other people’s feuds.

OK, serious note, Paul Burchill is being kept in a holding pattern. This guy is one of the best British talents in years, up there with former NOAH tag champ Doug Williams. When the WWE finally lets him bust out the C-4 Hotwired, his double exploder suplex, you will be shocked, trust me.

And backstage again, with Eddie saying he has Batista’s back and it’s all cuddly. Meanwhile, back in the ring, the guy with the t-shirt cannon makes ten people very happy.

Aaaaaaaaaand back to the ring. It’s Eddie again, saying he has Batista’s back. The place then explodes because The Animal is here. Batista (remember when people said he couldn’t do promos?) accuses Eddie of levelling him with

a chair last week – Eddie is hurt and outraged by the accusation, so Batista sets him a test. In a great moment, he hands Eddie a chair and stands with his back to him. Great theatre. Eddie resists the temptation, but Batista

leaves him with no doubt – stab me in the back and I will hurt you.

Video promo for Rey and JBL this Sunday, video shilling Viva Las Divas (are they still all even working for the WWE on that disc?), Raw rebound (the return of Trips, and Austin stunning everyone. Hey, kids, how horrible will

Austin/Hogan be?).

Finally, back to the ring. Orton and Orton (sounds like tax attorneys) take on Rowdy Roddy Piper… and lose! Piper gets the pin after Orton jr high-tails it when he hears the teased tolling of Undertaker’s bell. Yes, takers’ dong

is scarier than Roddy Piper. At this point, Orton and Orton are confronted with half a dozen druids, pulling a casket. Via video, ‘Taker tells them to look in the casket – they do, and see mannequins of themselves. Like the one

of Taker from three weeks ago, very lifelike – their fake corpse supplier is a genius.

During their ‘fish out of water’ moment, the Orton’s fail to notice that Taker has appeared out of nowhere. He clears house and stares them down.

Next up, it’s the weekly ‘jobber on Smackdown’ moment as Bobby Lashley creams Eddie Craven while Simon Dean does squats. Very odd. Lashley is a monster and will go far. The pop for the rookie is already huge.

A round-up of the No Mercy matches, and it’s our main event: the postponed 6-man tag team bout from Raw. JBL, Eddie and Christian vs Benoit, Batista and Rey. Yup, three No Mercy matches in one night. Batista finally gets the

pin on Christian after a bone-jarring spine buster and an excellent match (although JBL should never stand near Dave – it really shows how flabby he’s got). They continued to tease Eddie’s weird face turn as he is the one who

actually turns the match for the faces by putting JBL over the top rope, leaving Christian unprotected. He then stays around to hug Rey, shake Benoit’s hand and raise Batista’s arm. He then gets jumped by JBL and Christian, leaving Batista to make the save.

That’s it, everyone, except for the unannounced (so many people had left, it wasn’t funny) Orton vs ‘Taker dark match. It’s easy to forget, but Taker is huge, still very good in-ring and had tremendous charisma. He takes the pin

after tombstoning both men, and it’s time for home.

Sidebar: did this week’s invasion of Raw not happen? Teddy and Eddie mention it, but there are no ramifications from Homecoming whatsoever. No invasion, no Matt Hardy, no McMahon, no nothing. Very bizarre. Apart from that, all

very good.

Top Pop

Batista

Taker

Benoit (the man is a warrior in the ring and a general out -he did more to run the crowd than anyone else. He needs a title shot against Batista and soon)T-shirt guy (sorry, folks) Rey

Top Heat JBL Eddie The Ortons MnM (although Melina off-sets a lot of that by doing the splits) Simon Dean (for just not being very interesting)

Top indefinable reactions for those that people were just glad to see Christian.

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