After last week’s debut on Friday nights, it is time to see what a full two hour episode of Smackdown will look like on Friday night. What will happen when the Undertaker faces off with Randy Orton? What about the check that Taker set on fire last week with his ‘mystical’ powers.
We are live, on tape from Little Rock, Arkansas and your announcers are Tazz and Michael ‘At Least I am not Steve Romero’ Cole.
We begin with our first match, Chris Benoit versus ‘Captain Charisma’ Christian in a non-title match. While Chris Benoit walks to the ring, we see footage of Chris Benoit’s three victories over Orlando Jordan that took a total of 71.4 seconds. Before the match can start, Orlando Jordan comes to the ring. He says that there is no way that this match is happening. Christian leaves the ring while Orlando enters. Orlando refuses to go down in history as the man who tapped out in 22.5 seconds. He tells Christian that he has to wait. Christian distracts Benoit and Orlando attacks him from behind. Benoit with a knee and the Crippler Crossface on Orlando. Christian comes in and kicks Benoit. Orlando and Christian kick Benoit. From out of nowhere, Booker T comes out and he takes care of Christian and Orlando Jordan. The ref says that this is now going to be a tag match with Orlando and Christian facing Booker T and Chris Benoit. Orlando and Christian come back in, but Booker sends Christian out. Booker and Benoit with a double back elbow. Charmin comes to ringside as Booker chops Orlando followed by a step under heel kick. Orlando with a kick followed by an elbow to Booker’s neck. Christian tags in and Booker with a hip toss to the charging Christian. Booker chops Christian and then punches him. Christian with a kick and punch. Booker with a knee and then he tries for the scissors kick. Christian moves and then he comes off the ropes, but Booker catches him with a spinebuster. Booker chops Christian. Booker floats over on a charge in the corner and gets a sunset flip for a two count. Orlando distracts Booker and that allows Christian to send Booker outside the ring. While Christian distracts the ref and Benoit, Orlando attacks Booker. Christian with a neck breaker to Booker for a two count. Christian with a reverse chin lock to Booker while Booker She [trademark me] tries to get the crowd to give her husband some moral support. Christian with a back elbow and then he draws Benoit in to allow Orlando to come in. The ref says he does not see the tag so he tells Christian to get back in. Orlando finally tags in. Orlando with a back elbow to Booker. Orlando with a reverse chin lock to Booker. Booker escapes and hits a Bookend on Jordan and both men are down. Christian and Benoit tag in. Benoit with chops and a knee to Christian. Benoit follows that with a snap suplex to Christian. Benoit suplexes Orlando onto Christian. Benoit chops Orlando in the corner. Benoit senses Christian is coming behind him and he moves out of the way. Benoit with a drop toe hold that sends Christian into Orlando. Benoit tries for a Sharpshooter, but Christian makes it to the ropes. Christian tries for the Unprettier, but Benoit counters with a Crossface. Orlando breaks it up. Booker comes in and kicks Orlando and then he hits a super kick on Christian. Booker goes outside the ring and takes a chair from Orlando Jordan. Booker sends Orlando into Charmin [trademark Dave Scherer], who does not make a soft landing. When Booker checks on his wife, Orlando Jordan sends Booker into the steps. Inside the ring, Benoit with a German suplex. He sees Orlando on the apron and knocks him off. Benoit with another two German suplexes on Christian before he gives the signal that it is over. Christian distracts the ref and that allows Orlando to knock Benoit off the turnbuckle. Christian with the Unprettier for the three count.
We have a Randy Orton video package followed by an Undertaker video package.
Batista is in the back and he surprises Christy and Stacy. Simon Dean is talking to someone about his protein drink. Batista hits Simon on the back and Simon spits it in the guys face. Batista takes the drink from Simon and then he takes a sip before throwing it in the trash. We go to commercial.
We are back with the Tag of the Night: Batista successfully defending the title last week in the Bullrope match.
Teddy Long and Palmer Canon are in the ring. Teddy is here to introduce Batista who comes to the ring. Batista shakes Teddy and Palmer’s hands before talking. He reminds us that he defended his title in his first Bullrope match. He says that Bradshaw gave him a run for his money, but that was the past and it is time to talk about the future. It is time to name the new number one contender for the World Title. Batista wants to know who it will be. Teddy says that it is time to name a number one contender. Teddy says that there are a lot of people who would like a shot at the title. There is one person that Teddy knows the people would like to see. Teddy talks about his high flying style. A Latino underdog whose story is like David and Goliath. A family man who fights for what he believes in. Teddy introduces the new number one contender. Palmer takes the mic and says that it is Eddie Guerrero. Teddy does not look happy about Palmer’s announcement. Eddie comes to the ring and he shakes Palmer’s hand. Teddy reluctantly shakes Eddie’s hand. Eddie gets on the mic and he says that everybody knows that he has a history and they know about his past and demons. Everybody knows about his addictions. The worst addiction of them all was his addiction to manipulation. After last week, when he finally beat Rey Mysterio, he found a new addiction. Eddie asks Batista if he wants to know what that new addiction is. That addiction is respect, honor, and doing the next right thing. He is the new and improved Eddie Guerrero. He is not about all that before. He is all about love. Eddie wants to thank Batista for having him as the number one contender for the title. Eddie says that he has the most respect for him out of anybody there. Batista is not only the World Champion; he is what this business is today. He is greatness. At No Mercy, he does not want to hate any more. He wants to prove to everyone that they can come out and give the best damn match in the history of professional wrestling. Eddie says that he does not want to hate Batista. He wants to prove that it can be done. Batista calls Eddie ‘holmes’. He says that they don’t have to be enemies, they can be friends. They can be the two amigos. Batista says that everybody knows what can of man Eddie is. What kind of champion could Eddie make if Eddie could beat him? Eddie says that win, lose, or draw, they can come out of this more than just opponents. They can become friends, maybe even best friends. Eddie offers his hand to Batista and he says that he just wants to be Batista’s friend. Batista says that friends don’t shake hands, friends hug. Batista hugs Eddie and Eddie has a strange look on his face.
We see footage from last week’s match between MNM and the new LOD that aired in most of the country on WWE.com (and some places on UPN where pre-empted for baseball). We go to commercial.
We are back and it is time for our next match, Road Warrior Animal and Heidenreich versus MNM (Johnny ‘Plain’ Nitro, Joey ‘Peanut’ Mercury, [trademarks Dave Scherer] and ‘Almonds’ Melina [trademark me] with red carpet and photographers). Before the bell rings, MNM head outside the ring. Mercury and Heidenreich start things off. Heidenreich throws Mercury down followed by a shoulder tackle. Heidenreich wants Nitro to tag in, but Nitro distracts Heidenreich from the apron, allowing Mercury to attack Heidenreich from behind. Mercury avoids a big boot from Heidenreich by rolling outside the ring, but he does not avoid a clothesline from Animal despite the shrieks of Melina. Animal rolls Mercury back into the ring before he tags in. Animal puts Mercury on the turnbuckle and then goes up to try for a superplex. However, Melina distracts the ref and that allows Nitro to hit a super kick on Animal. Mercury throws Animal down and then Mercury with an elbow from the second turnbuckle. Mercury chokes Animal on the rope and then Melina chokes him while the ref is distracted by Heidenreich. Animal grabs Melina’s hand when she tries to punch him, but Mercury with a kick to Animal. Nitro tags in and then hit a double side Russian leg sweep. Nitro with a European uppercut and then he tags in Mercury who punches Animal in the ribs followed by a neckbreaker. Mercury with a sleeper on Animal. Mercury with a kick off the ropes, but Animal with a power slam on Mercury and both men are down. Nitro and Heidenreich tag in. Heidenreich with a punch to Nitro followed by clotheslines to Nitro and Mercury. Heidenreich with a big boot to Nitro followed by one to Mercury. Melina gets in the ring and Heidenreich is distracted. Heidenreich grabs Melina and puts her in front of him when he senses that Nitro and Mercury are going to attack him from behind. Heidenreich with punches to both and then he slams both of them to the mat. Heidenreich clotheslines Nitro while Animal clotheslines Mercury over the top rope to the floor. Animal tries for a double axe handle from the apron, but Mercury moves out of the way and Animal hits the ringside barrier. Heidenreich with an Irish whip to Nitro, but he charges into a boot from Nitro. Mercury gets the belt and he hits Heidenreich with the belt while Nitro holds on. The ref calls for the bell and disqualifies MNM. We go to commercial.
We are back and Palmer and Teddy are in the HollaOffice. Teddy is not very happy with Palmer. Eddie comes in and he thanks Teddy for giving him the opportunity to achieve his dream by facing Batista at No Mercy. Eddie is so emotional and thanks Palmer too. Teddy tells Palmer that he was going to name Rey the number one contender. Palmer says that based on what Teddy was saying, that described Eddie. Palmer is sorry that he stepped on Teddy’s toes, but it is set in stone. Everyone will love the match between Eddie and Batista at No Mercy.
Bob is standing by a U-Haul and Randy comes by. Bob says the surprise is ready and then he asks Randy if he is ready for his match. Randy says that tonight, the legacy of the Undertaker dies, and they will bury it.
It is time for our next match, Bradshaw (with JBLimo) versus Rey Mysterio Junior. While Bradshaw walks to the ring, we go to commercial.
We are back and it is time for Rey to come to the ring, and he has new music. Bradshaw tries for a boot, but Rey moves out of the way. Rey with a kick, but Bradshaw with a punch. Bradshaw with more punches to Rey, but Rey with a kick and sunset flip attempt. Bradshaw will not go down and he punches Rey. Rey with a kick and arm drag followed by a drop kick into the ropes. Rey tries for the 619, but Bradshaw recovers and hits a shoulder tackle. Bradshaw with kicks to Rey followed by elbow drops. Bradshaw with knees to Rey in the corner. Bradshaw with a boot to Rey’s head followed by a hard Irish whip. He follows the attack with a swinging neck breaker. Bradshaw with punches to Rey, but Rey blocks and he connects with punches of his own. Bradshaw with a bear hug. Rey with head butts and punches to escape. Bradshaw catches Rey on a cross body attempt. Bradshaw tries for a fallaway slam, but Rey counters with a DDT. Rey with kicks to Bradshaw followed by a tilt-a-whirl head scissors and drop kick. Rey with another drop kick and then he hits the Bronco Buster. Rey tries for a monkey flip, but Bradshaw is able to hold onto the ropes. Bradshaw slams Rey into the mat and then he tries for the Clothesline from Wall Street, but Rey with a drop kick to Bradshaw’s knees that send him into the ropes. Rey with the 619 and then he tries for the springboard senton, but Bradshaw catches him. Rey punches Bradshaw and then gets out of a slam attempt. Rey with a springboard moonsault and he gets the three count.
Nunzio is in the HollaOffice with Vito and he wants to talk to Teddy Palmer. Nunzio talks about his title, but he is interrupted by Eddie. Eddie apologizes and tells them to continue. Nunzio says that he has not been on Smackdown since he won the Cruiserweight title. Nunzio says that he is an impact player when some people don’t think so. Eddie says that Nunzio has a point and he should be in action tonight. Palmer says that he would love to see all of the champions in action. Eddie says that he would love to see Batista in action tonight. Palmer says that Nunzio will face Batista tonight. Eddie loves that idea and says that he wishes he would have thought of that himself. We go to commercial.
We are back with footage from Rey’s victory over Bradshaw.
Bradshaw is ambushed by Josh Mathews and Bradshaw walks away. From out of nowhere, Ken Kennedy says that it is like all of the media types to pick on the negatives. Ken says that they should focus on the positives, like the man who is single handedly changing Friday nights. Ken suggests that Josh should change something because he smells like Arkansas. Ken looks like he is going to be sick, but he introduces himself.
It is time for our next match, Ken Kennedy (with mic) versus Jacques Plisken. Ken walks to the ring and he tells Tony to get out of his ring and he does his introduction. Kennedy punches his opponent followed by a knee off the ropes. Kennedy punches Jacques followed by an Irish whip. Plisken with a clothesline, but Kennedy stops Jacques when he climbs the ropes. Kennedy with the Lambeau Leap for the three count. We go to commercial.
We are back and it is time for our next match, Batista (with Batista Boogie [trademark Natalie L]) versus Nunzio (with Vito). As the match begins, Eddie comes out to watch the match. Batista with a shoulder tackle to Nunzio. Vito tries to pull Nunzio out of the ring, but Batista pulls Nunzio and Vito into the ring. Batista presses Nunzio over his head and then tosses Nunzio onto Vito. Batista holds Nunzio at arms length and puts him on the turnbuckle. Vito gets on the apron, but Batista knocks Vito off the apron. Nunzio with a missile drop kick followed by kicks. Nunzio distracts the ref and that allows Vito to punch Batista. Batista tosses Nunzio across the ring when he kicks out. Nunzio with a punch, but that makes Batista mad. Batista throws Nunzio into the corner and follows that with shoulders in the corner. Batista with an Irish whip followed by a clothesline. Vito gets on the apron and he is hip tossed back into the ring. Batista with a clothesline into the corner followed by a spinebuster. Batista with a spinebuster to Nunzio on top of Vito. Batista shakes the ropes and it is time for the Sit Out BatistaBomb for the three count. Eddie applauds Batista’s work and gives him a thumbs up.
We return to the garage where Bob and Randy close the U-Haul. Randy asks Bob if he remembers the plan. Randy walks away as we go to commercial.
We are back with the Smack of the Night: Undertaker destroying a check for $1,416 last week.
Bradshaw is in his locker room and Jillian Hall comes in. He asks her if she is the fixer and she says that she is the one who got the tag title matches for MNM. Bradshaw says that he needs help, for the first time in his life. He asks Jillian if she will work for him. Jillian says that they can work something out.
It is time for our main event, Randy Orton (with pose) versus Undertaker. Before we can get to the match, we have to go to commercial.
We are back and the match has begun. Taker throws Orton to the mat. Taker with a side head lock and a shoulder tackle. Orton with a hip toss and then he backs Taker into the corner with kicks, punches, and European uppercuts. Orton with an Irish whip, but Taker comes off the turnbuckle and hits a big boot. Taker works on Orton’s arm and then he moves to the shoulder before slamming it into the top turnbuckle. Taker with an Irish whip, but Taker charges into an elbow. Taker with a Fujiwara arm bar, but Orton makes it to the ropes. Taker continues to use the ropes to work on Orton’s arm. Taker with a punch followed by Old School, but Orton is able to kick the ropes and that crotches Taker. Orton tries for a superplex, but Taker punches Orton. Orton with a European uppercut while Taker is still on the turnbuckles. Orton with a superplex and both men are down. Orton tells his dad to bring out the truck. We see the U-Haul come into the arena. Taker sits up and Orton freaks out. Orton with a kick followed by a DDT. The truck comes to ringside and we see a casket being brought out of the truck. Orton with a knee drop off the ropes as we go to commercial.
We are back and Randy with a reverse chin lock while Bob Orton and a casket watch the action in the ring. Taker gets to his feet and he backs Randy into the corner. Taker with elbows, but he comes off the ropes into a standing drop kick from Randy. Randy with another reverse chin lock. Orton uses the rope for leverage. Taker gets back to his feet, but Orton with a slam and then Randy goes up to the second turnbuckle. Orton goes for an elbow drop, but Taker gets his boot up and Orton goes down. Taker punches Randy and Orton is on rubbery legs. Taker gets Orton up, but Orton floats out and Orton hits a neck breaker. Orton with boots to Taker against the ropes and then he chokes Taker with his boot. Taker punches Orton, but Orton responds with a punch of his own. Orton with a European uppercut, but Taker with a headbutt. Orton with European uppercuts and punches while Taker with punches of his own. Taker with a flying clothesline and Orton goes into the corner. Taker with an Irish whip and Taker follows that with Snake Eyes followed by a big boot off the ropes and a leg drop for a two count. Taker sets for the choke slam, but Orton blocks it and kicks Taker. Taker clotheslines Orton over the top rope to the floor and Taker goes out and chases after Bob. Taker gets Orton up and opens the casket. There is an Undertaker in the casket. Orton is able to send a stunned Taker into the ringside barrier and ring steps. Orton rolls in and out of the ring. Orton with forearms to Taker’s chest while he stands on the second turnbuckle. Orton with more punches to Taker. Orton poses, but Taker grabs him. Orton is able to float out of the Last Ride. Taker clotheslines the ref and Orton hits the RKO. Bob brings a new ref to the ring, but he only gets a two count. Taker sits up and he gives Orton a choke slam for the count, but Bob pulls the ref out and stops the count. Bob gets in the ring and he punches Taker to no effect. Taker punches Bob, who falls out of the ring. Randy tries for another RKO, but Taker pushes him off. Taker hits a Tombstone for the three count. We go to credits.