RAW opens by recaping last week’s #1 contender match between Batista and Randy Orton, which resulted in Orton winning after Batista was distracted by Triple H, who was trying to give him a steel chair.
First off is the Chris Jericho’s Highlight Reel. Later tonight we will see Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit, and we learn that Jericho has qualified for the Royal Rumble. Before Jericho can continue speaking, he is interrupted by Hussan and Daivari and Jericho doesn’t look all too thrilled.
Jericho’s gonna let these two assclowns in on a little secret. It’s customary to have the host introduce the guests, not to just wander out whenever they feel like it. Hussan feels it’s customary that the host should get to the point, not ramble on about himself. Jericho sarcastically introduces his guests, and Jericho wants to know why they’re angry all the time.
Hussan says he felt a connection with Canada because Canadians are also second-class citizens within the US, however, they deserve to be treated that way. Everyone knows that terrorists get into the US through Canada because officials are too stupid to do their jobs right. “You Suck” chants sound throughout the arena and Canadians have a self-righteous attitude because they think they’re classier than the US, though they have the same racist feelings as the US, but they can hide it better. They know when confronted, they can’t back it up. Jericho responds by first telling them to shut the hell up, and he doesn’t know about the racist feelings, but the crowd in Toronto has no problem explaining how they feel about the two Arabs.
Daivari spouts something out in his native language. Jericho thinks he says something about his band and that he wants an autographed copy of his CD. Hussan wonders if Jericho thinks it’s all a joke because he was born in America and grew up in Canada, so to Hussan, Jericho is the worst of both worlds.
On behalf of Americans and Canadians, Jericho attacks Hussan and puts him in the Walls of Jericho until Daivari jumps on him from behind, allowing Hussan to hit the Complete Shot followed by a camel clutch. Daivari spouts out something else, but the two are interrupted by Chris Benoit, who runs down to make the save.
Backstage, we see Triple H and Flair talking to a stage hand. Triple H makes fun of the Canadian by mocking the way the Canadians speak. The conversation turns to Batista, who will be a little bit late showing up. Flair feels that he isn’t angry and that everything’s cool, even though he never actually talked to him. It’s now time for commercial.
The WWE Rewind recaps Shelton Benjamin qualifying for th Royal Rumble after defeating Maven last week.
Note: I was just reading that Shawn Daivari was recently threatened by someone who has a cousin stationed in Afghanistan. It’s pretty sad when people like that can not separate fantasy from reality. Even though there are quite a few wrestlers I don’t like, I know that it’s just a gimmick and that most times, they’re not actually like the characters they play on TV. That guy who threatened Daivari needs to be slapped around a few times to knock some sense into his head.
Match #1 (Six Man Tag) – Shelton Benjamin, Hurricane & Rosey vs. La Resistance & Maven:
Robert Conway and Shelton Benjamin kick things off. Conway takes it to Benjamin, until Benjamin counters and mounts some offense of his own. Grenier and Maven try to get involved, but Maven gets out of the ring until Benjamin tries to pin Conway, then he breaks up the pin.
Hurricane is tagged in, and he attacks Conway, who then tags in Grenier. Hurricane has Grenier in a headlock and Grenier sends Hurricane to the ropes. Hurricane kicks Grenier in the chest and then goes to bounce off the ropes again, but Maven hits a cheap shot and Conway attacks him on the outside.
Grenier hits a knee drop and then tags in Conway. They double team Hurricane and Conway connects with a snapmare into a reverse chin lock. Hurricane is fighting against Conway to make a tag, but Conway hits a cheap shot on Benjamin, allowing Hurricane to hit an atomic drop to tag in Rosey.
Conway goes for a sunset flip on Rosey, but Rosey drops to his knees to pin him. Maven dropkicks him in the head and while Benjamin is distracted with Maven, La Resistance actually manage to hit the Au Revoir on Rosey for the victory.
Winner: La Resistance and Maven
Backstage, we see Orton dressed for success and he is stopped by Stacy. Stacy was happy for him last week and she then kisses him on the cheek. Stone Cold will be making an appearance at a press conference this Wednesday at noon at the Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood, CA and fans will be allowed to attend.
Randy Orton comes down to the ring and the single most greatest moment in his career was in Toronto, and that was when he became the youngest World Heavyweight Champion. As he stood in the ring, he cried. He cried because he accomplished something he never thought possible. The next night in the ring, he bled. He bled for the same reason. Everything he dreamt of, everything he worked hard for, was taken away by one man. Triple H. He wants it all back. He wants his pride and blood, and the title. At the Royal Rumble, he’ll beat Triple H and he’ll become the World Heavyweight Champion.
Triple H proceeds to come out with title and mic in hand. That’s the same song and dance he’s been hearing since he beat Orton at Unforgiven. Triple H thought he had something, but that was before Orton turned his back on him. Orton’s gonna suffer some more and he is a 10 time World Heavyweight Champion (most of those reigns undeserving) It means that he is the greatest wrestler alive today (nope, Bret Hart holds that title). Orton interrupts him by saying he’s been hearing the same thing over and over. Triple H is sick of saying it, but you know what, every time he says it some punk kid thinks he’s gonna be the guy who’ll shut his mouth. If Orton’s sick of hearing it, then imagine him saying it one more time after he beats Orton at the Royal Rumble.
Orton calls Triple H down to the ring and he acts like he’s gonna do it, but he decides to back down by claiming he’s the World champion and that puts him in a league that Orton isn’t capable of playing in. Triple H doesn’t go to Orton, it’s the other way around. Orton runs backstage, only to be ambushed by the pussy champion. A fight ensues and the champ grabs a steel chair. Orton recovers before he can use it, and we see Flair trying to interfere. Triple H hightails it before Orton can use the steel chair on him. Am I the only one who thinks feuds are getting too cliche? It seems like everything that’s ever said between two wrestlers is something that’s been said already. It’d be nice, and not to mention refreshing, to have something unique. I’m not sure what would fit that description, but I’m tired of hearing the same old crap week after week after week.
We see Triple H backstage pissed off and one of the interviewers tries to get an interview, but he doesn’t want any of it. Once he gets to his room, we see that Batista has arrived. Batista tells Triple H that it’s still cool between him. Batista needs to talk to Bischoff, and Triple H wants to know why. It’s something about the Royal Rumble and the World title.
Next up, is the Coach with Shawn Michaels (crowd boos). Apparently, the Canadians still will not let the Montreal screwjob go even though HBK has begged for forgiveness. He’s gotta move on, and he’s gonna move onto the Royal Rumble. Tonight he’s gonna have a qualifying match and he’s gonna make sure that Edge won’t have a chance to fight for the title. Bischoff shows up and HBK tells him he wants to be in a qualifier match. HBK is reminded of his accomplishments, and since it’s HBK, Bischoff is just gonna let him into the Rumble. However, since he is dressed, tonight we will see HBK vs. Christian. His match is next and HBK has two options: give an Edge response and explain every reason not to fight, but he is a full blooded American and it’s on. HBK leaves to get ready for his match as we go to commercial.
The WWE Slam of the Week recaps Snitsky attacking Kane with a steel chair.
Match #3 (Singles) – Batista vs. Viscera:
They lock up, and then they break it off. They try it again and Viscera backs Batista into a corner. He hits a chop and Batista retaliates by punching him. Viscera tosses Batista back into the corner, but Batista begins to mount some offense. Batista gets up on the second rope and clubs Viscera in the back to knock him down.
Batista tries to whip Viscera, but to no avail. Viscera hits a shoulder block to knock Batista down and then he connects with a Samoan drop. He follows it up with an elbow drop then tries to cover Batista, but he kicks out. Viscera sends Batista into a corner and Viscera splashes him. Viscera tries to whip Batista, but to no avail. Batista wins it with a spinebuster.
We see Benoit gearing up for his match, which will happen later tonight as we go to commercial.
We hear a conversation between Evolution, and I didn’t pay too much attention to it.
Match #4 (Singles) – Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit:
They lock up and Jericho backs Benoit into a corner. They try again and Jericho wraps around Benoit with a waist lock. Benoit is put into a headscissors and he quickly escapes. They go for a test of strength, which Benoit counters and locks in an armbar. Jericho puts Benoit in a hammerlock. Benoit hits a drop takedown and Jericho bars the arm of Benoit. The ref breaks the two up and Jericho puts Benoit in another waist lock. Benoit counters it with a German suplex and he tries again, but Jericho counters it into the Walls of Jericho. Benoit is trying to break it up, and he manages to do so. The two are at a standoff as we go to commercial.
Benoit has Jericho in a chinlock and Jericho is slowly getting to his feet. Jericho puts Benoit into a corner and he begins to chop away at him. Jericho whips Benoit and knocks him down with a shoulder block. Jericho hangs Benoit on the ropes and the two begin to exchange blows in the corner. Benoit climbs up onto the turnbuckle. Jericho comes off the very top with a double arm suplex. Jericho goes for a couple of pin covers, but Benoit kicks out of both of them.
Jericho whips Benoit, Benoit counters, and Jericho kicks Benoit in the chest. Benoit back suplexes Jericho over the top, but Benoit falls over the top along with him. Benoit tosses Jericho back in and he goes for a pin, but both men’s legs are under the ropes.
Benoit attacks Jericho again and he attempts another pin cover, but Jericho kicks out. Jericho is whipped and Benoit connects with a shoulder block. Jericho is lying near the apron, so B enoit capitalizes by hitting a baseball slide. Benoit tosses Jericho back in and picks him up. Benoit whips Jericho sternum first into the turnbuckle. Benoit connects with the rolling Germans, but he is unable to get up right away. Benoit signals for the flying headbutt and as he flies off the top, Jericho gets out of the way.
Jericho charges after Benoit, but Benoit catches him and tries to get Jericho into the Crossface. Jericho counters out and he attempts the Walls, but Benoit catches him in the Crossface again, but Jericho manages to get Benoit into the Walls position, but Benoit counters out. Benoit attempts the Sharpshooter, but Jericho wins it with an inside cradle.
Winner: Chris Jericho
Post-match, tempers flare, but Benoit extends a hand and Jericho shakes it in a show of good sportsmanship.
A video package highlighting the feud between Snitsky and Kane is shown and up next will be Kane vs. Snitsky as we go to commercial.
The announcer recap the Royal Rumble lineup.
The sexy Trish Stratus comes out to the ring with her belt and with the lack of women w/ actual wrestling ability, I’d get rid of the belt until we bring in a lot more wrestling divas and then hold a battle royal to determine the new champion.
Trish cuts a promo trashing the US, but I still love her. She’s not here to gloat, but she did tell Lita that if she faced her at New Year’s Revolution, it’d be over just like that. She then proceeds to mock Lita, and the crowd is cheering her every word. Before she can continue, Kane runs out and chases Trish. He catches her as she tries to jump the barrier and she is begging for forgiveness. Kane has his hand wrapped around her throat, but he can’t bring himself to hurt her. He turns around and smiles a big goofy grin, and then chokeslams Trish to hell while the crowd chants “holy shit”.
Main Event (No Holds Barred) – Kane vs. Snitsky:
The fight starts out on the outside as Kane exits the ring while Snitsky storms down the ramp. Kane slams Snitsky’s head on the barrier and then comes off the top with a flying clothesline. On the inside, Kane is on the turnbuckle and hits another clothesline. Kane signals for the chokeslam, but Snitsky has exited the ring. Snitsky grabs the ring bell and hits Kane with it. Snitsky goes for a pin, but Kane kicks out. Snitsky connects with a sidewalk slam and then leaves the ring. He takes the weight belt from under the ring and then whips Kane with it. (Humorous JR comment: Snitsky looks like he’s pleasuring himself with that weight belt!)
Snitsky looked like he was gonna deliver a powerbomb, but Kane counters out of it and connects with a boot to the face. Kane grabs a steel chair from the outside, but Snitsky kicks Kane in the gut before he can use it. Snitsky grabs the chair and hits Kane in the back with it (The crowd was chanting something, but I couldn’t understand what they were saying).
Snitsky fits the chair around Kane’s throat and then goes up top, but Snitsky doesn’t notice Kane removing the chair and sitting up. Kane knocks Snitsky off the top and to the outside with the steel chair. Kane grabs the weight belt and begins to whip Snitsky with it. Snitsky is draped over the apron and Kane kicks Snitsky in the head. On the outside, the two begin to fight on the ramp. Kane tosses Snitsky into the RAW logo and he then tries for a chokeslam off the stage, but Snitsky kicks him in the nuts. Kane is teetering on the edge as Snitsky clobbers him, but as Snitsky prepares to knock him off, Kane ducks and goozles him. Kane chokeslams Snitsky into some equipment off the stage to get some holy shit chants going, and Kane and Snitsky are in shambles as they lay in the broken equipment.
END OF SHOW