Smackdown is in Nawlins tonight, at the UNO Lakefront Arena. Its me, BSB, here with the Smackdown Spoilers this week.
The arena is pretty full. Some empty seats towards the top. Tony the Chim comes out, and we start off with Velocity. No dark matches this time.
Match 1 Matt Johnson vs. Orlando Jordan. Me and some guys around me start a houseboy chant. Wonder if they will edit that out. OJ wins with a really botched Reverse Ace Crusher. After this Josh Matthews and his new partner come out to Salivas Click Click Boom. I missed the first Velocity with this new guy a week and a half ago, if anyone has it on tape I would love to get a copy. It was 12-18 I believe.
Torrie Wilson then comes out looking fine to announce the next match, Kenzo Suzuki vs. Paul London. Kenzo does his normal stalking bit with Torrie, and Hiroko looks pissed. Kenzo beats Paul with the STO. Kenzo smooches at Torrie, then leaves. Torrie leaves after them.
Match 3 Billy Kidman vs Chavo. Billy misses the Shooting Star Press, and Chavo wins with a boot to the head.
Match 4 Hardcore Holly and Charlie Haas vs. Mark Jindrak and Luther Reigns. I try to start a Baldcore chant. Jindrak pins Haas after Reigns yanks Charlies neck down on the rope.
We start Smackdown, and Michael Cole and Tazz come down to Tazzs music. We then get the GM Teddy Long, on the tron, and he tells us that tonight is the champs shoiwcase. All the champs will defend their titles against opponents of their choosing.
We get John Cena first, who is mega over. He cuts a good promo, then goes into the stands and give shis jersey to a kid. Rene Dupree come sout and challenges Cena. Cena wins a good match with the FU.
We see JBL and Amy Weber walking backstage, and they come upon Joy. Amy tells Joy that she looks fat, and Joy asks Amy where her waddle is. JBL gets in Joys face, until Big Show pops up, and tells JBL he wants the title match.
Out comes Kurt Angle, with his security and medal. Kurt compliments JBL, and says he want the title match. He brings out Matt Stryker, who lies and says he is from New Orleans, and Kurt make shim tap to the anklelock real quick.
We see RVD and Rey on the Tron, trying to decide who they want to face. Eddie and Booker T show up, and say he want the tag title shot, becaus ehtey know JBL wont give them WWE title shots. RVD and Rey agree to think about it. Book and Eddie start to argue about whos name will go first in the tag team, while RVD and Rey sneak off.
T shirt guy comes out, and on the Tron we see a recap of last weeks Taker/Heidenreich match. It looks like Taker and HR at the Royal Rumble.
Backstage we see Daniel Puder come in, and start to get unpacked in the locker room. This angers Hardcore Holly, and he and Puder get in eachother faces. Baldcore talks about paying dues,a dn Puder is cocky.
Teddy Long is talking to some new bimbo, and JBL , Amy, and OJ walk in. JBL says he will defend the title randomly, and he has all the Smackdown stars names ina fishbowl. He picks a name and acts scared and wants to pick again. TL tells JBL to go to the ring and defend the title. Didnt they do this last year. Want to bet me a hundred dollars its Shannon Moore.
MOOOOOOOOO!!! Its JBL and posse, minus Bashams. And what a shock, JBL will defend the title against Shannon Moore. JBL wins quick with a short arm clothesline. Teddy comes out and demands to insepect the fishbowl. Amy tries to sneak off with it, but Joy gets her from behind and grabs it. A catfight starts, and after they are both excorted out, Teddy checks the names. They are all Shannon Moore. The creative team is now officially out of ideas. You did this exact same thing a year ago idiots. Teddy tell JBL he will defend the title at the Royal Rumble against Kurt Angle. Kurt comes out, and he a JBL have a great argument. You have to see it live, reading it will not do it justice. Teddy interrupts to tel them that it will be a Triple Threat match with Big Show. Show come out and clears the ring.
Here comes Funaki. Right after he comes out, we cut to the tron where Josh Matthews is interviewing RVD and Rey about who they will pick to defend the titles. They say the want to wrestle Dawn and Torrie. But really, they will face Eddie and Booker. And later, Dawn and Torrie.
Rey and RVD are out, then Eddie and Book. Eddie and Book play the heels, isolating Rey, the RVD and working them over. Finally Book and RVD end up outside the ring, and Eddie tries to use his fake out on the bumped ref to make him think Rey hit Eddie with the belt. The ref catches Eddie faking, and Rey wins with a rollup.
Carlito is on the Tron, and he tells us his New Years Resolution is to get rid of Teddy Long.
Heidenreich is out, and he says hes not scared of Taker. He has cost Taker the title twice, and he was spareing Taker last week by running out. Takers gond goes off, and the arena goes dark. Takers voice says that at the Royal Rumble, HR will rest is peace. Some druids wheel out a casket and place it next to the ring. HR takes his time going over to it, he is scared. Finally he touches it, and Taker pops out. HR runs off, and Taker then poses in the ring.
JBL comes out, and this bit wont be on TV. JBl complains about the lack of respect. He calls OJ a killer, and tells OJ to get Taker. He tells OJ to treat Taker like a white woman. JBL tries to attack Taker, but gets chased out the ring. He and OJ then attack Taker from different sides, and the casket match starts. Taker finally wins by putting both JBL and OJ in the casket, after chokeslamming both them and the Bashams. After the match Heidenreich attacks and Taker beats him down too. Taker poses in the ring, and the show is over. Tony the Chim thanks us for coming, and tells us to give a hand to New Orleans own Heidenreich.