Start of the Show:
As soon as Raw comes on the air nearly half the damned locker room is standing in the ring! Batista is introduced as well as Chris Jericho. Jericho goes in the ring and some of the guys get antsy but Vince McMahon comes to the ramp! McMahon says that everyone is expecting HHH to come out right now but frankly, that is not going to happen. The crowd boos. Vince McMahon says this just cannot happen because of the array of talent within the ring. He says what if someone like Steven Richards won this thing, then he would be your damn champion! McMahon then goes on to say that they promised a battle royal tonight and they are going to get one. HHH will face the winner of tonight’s battle royal and he will face them TONIGHT. Vince Mcmahon then says that the match starts NOW. Ring the Bell damnit!
Referees: Numerous Referees
The Battle Royal:
All men start going crazy as the ring of the bell. Flair is working on Christian in the corner as Snitsky has a giant hold on Maven. The Hurricane goes over the top thanks to Viscera but Hurricane hangs on! The Hurricane comes flying off the ropes but Viscera catches him. A bunch of people gang up on Viscera in the corner and Hurricane has him by the neck trying to pull Viscera over. With some help, he does it!
Rhyno gores Tyson Tomko but then he gets tossed out by Tajiri! Tomko is soon to follow Rhyno, I really could not see who eliminated him. Conway is hung on the bottom rope as we see a highlight of Benjamin giving Tyson Tomko a belly to belly out of the ring. Benoit and Flair go chop for chop in the corner to the delight of the crowd as there are a few people hanging onto the ropes. Maven eliminates Sylvian Grenier by drop kicking him in the legs as he was hanging on to the ropes on the apron. Eugene gives Maven a high five for eliminating Grenier but as Maven turns to walk away from Eugene, Eugene grabs him by the back of the head and runs and tosses Maven over the top rope!
When we come back from commercial the ring looks a little less filled and we learned that the Coach was elimated as he jumped out of the ring himself when Benoit went to chop him after Benoit chopped him several times. Regal and Conway get tossed by Snitsky who was nailing people in the head. The Hurricane and Rosey nearly go out at the same time as Snitsky tossed Rosey out and Batista tossed the Hurricane out. Snitsky and Batista then stared each other down and then they went at it! The Raw locker room broke them up attacking both of them to boos from the crowd. In the corner we catch a shot of Batista clotheslining the crap out of Eugene and someone else. He then gives a spinebuster to Val Venis. Batista then chucks Eugene, gives Tajiri a spinebuster, followed by an insane craze by Batista that saw the elimination of Tajiri, Val Venis, Christian, and EVEN Ric Flair! Ric Flair went insane on the outside of the ring as he realized Batista was the one who knocked him out! Somewhere in there Christian caught a spinebuster as well. Batista CLEANED house, literally!
When we come back Shelton Benjamin and Chris Benoit are trying to eliminate Snitsky but Snitsky fights his way off. However, Chris Jericho comes flying off the top rope and he nails Snitsky with a dropkick to eliminate him! We are down to six and they are Richards, Edge, Benjamin, Jericho, Batista, and Chris Benoit. Richards gets in the middle of the ring and calls for all men to bring it on. Classic funny stuff. A couple of guys drop him, kick him around, and then toss him out of the ring.
Benjamin and Edge go at it for a bit and Edge tosses Benjamin over but Benjamin holds on. But as he gets up Edge nails him with a spear sending him flying! We are now down to four! Edge and Benoit go at it as Jericho goes at Batista. Jericho chops away on the chest of Batista as Edge has Benoit hung up on the ropes. Batista is taken down to one knee as Jericho drives away. Jericho does his running knee to Batista. Jericho comes off the ropes, Batista ducks, Jericho kicks him in the chest and runs off the ropes again. Jericho goes for a cross body block but Batista catches him and throws him over the top rope. Jericho is eliminated! Batista turns around only to get a spear from Edge! Edge goes to give Jericho an implant DDT but Benoit reverses and lands a few german suplexes! Batista comes from behind and clobbers both men. Batista then calls for the powerbomb on Benoit but when Benoit goes up he punches away like a madman. Batista changes the hold and tries to literally throw Benoit out of the ring. He has Benoit SO close but Edge runs from behind and dropkicks the back of Batista! This sends Batista flying over the rop and to the floor, SOMEHOW Benoit holds on!
Benoit and Edge go at it shot for shot, Edge in the ring and Benoit on the apron. Edge comes flying for a spear but he catches an elbow to the chin. Benoit then grabs Edge and pulls him over and both men are on the apron, Edge nearly gets eliminated but only a tiny part of his one foot touches. Benoit gets around the waste of Edge and it looks as if he is going to german suplex him off the apron but Edge holds on! Benoit then grans the head of Edge and it looks like a crossface type move but BOTH men go flying to the floor at the same time.
The referees raise the hands of both men! WHO THE HELL WON? WWE goes to commercial as both men have their hands held by different referees inside the ring!
When we come back we see a replay that does not so much evidence at all. We even get a replay in slow motion and it does not show anything.
Winner: Chris Benoit and Edge?
Orton in the back, wants to know who won?
Randy Orton is in the back with two referees from the match and they are proving each other’s points as to who won the match. Randy Orton says the two guys differ and they have no clue. Orton says he is going to have to make a decision. Vince McMahon comes in and says that Randy has a large decision to make. Randy asks Vince Mcmahon if he has an opinion. Vince says he does, but he is not going to tell Orton because Orton is in charge! Edge comes in and practically BEGS for a world title shot. He says he deserves it and so on. Orton says he will think about it, multiple times. Edge flips out when Orton leaves.
Maven wants gold:
Maven is shown sitting with Shelton Bejamin complaining that in four years he has not had any gold for himself. Eugene shows up and asks Maven if he can help him put on his tag team title belt. Maven freaks out and tells Benjmain that Eugene can’t even spell “title” and even HE has one. Eugene then spells title and Maven gets up in his face. Regal comes and says that a battle royal is every man for themselves and Maven should not have a problem. Maven cools off and sits down to take his kneepads off.
Benoit meets up with Orton:
Orton has a short talk with one of the new girls. She asks if he dress is too revealing. Orton takes a hard look at her, tells her her dress is fine, and kisses her hand. Benoit then comes up and asks Orton what he is going to do about this. Each week in and out they are getting screwed since winning the Survivor Series match. Orton says he understands and he will sort things out in his announcement next!
Orton welcomes the crowd and then goes on to book a few matches. He books a tag title rematch with La Resistance and Eugene and Regal. He also books a legends match with the King and Ric Flair! It’s the King’s birthday and Orton led us to believe it was going to be Jim Ross again but he fooled us! He then books a 3 way world title match as the main event, tonight! Edge, Benoit, and HHH for the world title, tonight!
Referee: Earl Hebner
Molly Holly gets an early cheap shot on Victoria followed by a snap suplex for a two count. Trish is tagged in and she kicks Victoria in the gut, she hooks the leg for another two count. Trish grabs Victoria by the hair and she slams her down. Victoria fights back but Trish takes her down quickly. Victoria goes for a tag but Trish holds her by the hair. Molly comes back in as The Coach joins J.R at ringside. Molly hits a swining neckbreaker on Victoria in the middle of the ring.
Mid match notes:
Victoria has Molly Holly pinned in the middle of the ring but Hebner is distracted by Trish taking a shot at Lita on the outside. Molly works over Victoria a little more and she gives her a flipping side neckbreaker. Victoria is taking an ass kicking from the team of Molly and Trish who double team her in the corner as Lita is restrained. Molly continues to beat on visctoria with a sliding dropkick to the face. Molly works over Victoria in the corner with kicks as trish chokes away. Molly goes running at Victoria but there is nobody there. It looks as if victoria is going to tag but Molly drops an elbow on her back. Trish is tagged in and Victoria flips her backwards and is able to make a tag! Lita goes crazy on Trish throwing blows all over her nose. Lita knocks Molly off the apron followed by a snap suplex on Trish Stratus. Molly comes in only to get a flying headscissor from Lita.
End of the match:
Molly breaks a choke hold that Lita has on Trish. Molly kicks Victoria in the gut and throws her to the outside where she follows up on her. Back in the ring Trish throws Lita off the ropes but Lita kicks Trish right in the face! She then drops her with a DDT right on her head! Lita covers and gets the pin!
Winners: Lita and Victoria
Muhammed Hassan Recaps:
A recap of all the promos of Muhammed Hassan are shown from the past few weeks. They highlight his hatred for the predjudice he receives. It ends with him saying if the people do not stop the predjudice, then he will BEAT it out of them!
Referee: Michael Chioda
The two men lock up and Flair shoves King in the corner. They relock and King shoves Flair on his ass! Flair points and “whoos” Collar and elbow tie up, Lawler gets the advantage and then he struts around! Flair shoves the King and the King slaps him across the chest sending him down. The King comes off the ropes and takes Flair down with a shoulder block, he struts and then does it again. Flair works the King in the corner where he gives the King a cheap shot followed by some chops. Flair chops away but the King blocks a punch and fires away. The Nature Boy comes off the ropes firing at nothing and he does a face flop! Flair gets whipped off the ropes and King sends him flying with a back body drop!
Mid match notes:
Flair gets in a cheap shot and he works on the leg of the King. Flair places King in the corner where he chops and punches away wearing down the King. Flair gives the King a snapmare in the middle of the ring and then he drives the knee to Jerry Lawler. Flair covers but he only gets a two count. Flair tosses the King off the ropes and he gives him a huge chop, Lawler stands up and he looks all mad! He takes down his shoulder strap and unloads on Flair! He punches away and then gives Flair the single worst back body drop of all time! The King drops Flair with a body slam and then he goes to the top rope! He drops the flying fist and then climbs the ropes and does it AGAIN! Lawler lands weird on his knee and he holds it claiming it is in pain. Flair smells blood! Flair goes for the Figure Four but Lawler puts him in a small package for two! Flair then gives the King a chop block and takes him down! Flair then slaps on the figure four leglock.
Flair still has the leglock on Jerry Lawler but the King is about to turn it around! the King gets most of the way around but Flair grabs the middle rope for leverage! The ref does not see it and Flair is able to get the King back on his back. The King taps out because he has no choice!
Winner: Ric Flair
Orton books some ladies:
Orton is in the back with “Melina” and she thanks him for making her a Raw Diva! Maria then comes in and they both hug Orton. Orton says that tonight the girls are going to be in action. One asks if they are going to wrestle, he says no, it will be a whole lot better than that!
When we come back from commercial Randy Orton is in the middle of the ring with three new chicks. Melina, Maria, and Candice. Orton says they are all drop dead gorgeous but there is something missing here. More hot women! He says he asked for two more Divas to come to the ring! He introduces Christy Hemme who looks damn good! He then says they have Baltimore’s own hometown sweetheart, Stacy Kiebler!!!
Stacy gets a huge ovation as she is the hottest one to come to the ring. Orton tells the girls that they have no idea why they are out here. Orton says it’s the Holiday Season and that is a time for giving. He says he is going to give the fans a RAw Lingerie fashion show. He says they are not prepared and he asked Spike TV for a few minutes extra but they declined. So he has they have to do it with what they’ve got right now! He asks the ladies if they will do it and they all say yes. Melina goes first and she looks a little hesitent standing in the middle of the ring. Orton cuts the music and says Melina is a little nervous. Orton asks the crowd for a little help and they cheer her on! She takes off her dress and she has a nice blue lingerie on. She dances up on Randy and then walks around the ring a bit for fun. It was not that good. Candice is up next and she flaunts her stuff revealing a giant rack. She has a giant ass for those who are wondering. Maria is up next and she lifts up her skirt revealing purple panties. She teases a bit and then takes off her entire dress! Maria is hot. Period.
Christy goes next and she lets Orton take off her whole dress! She looks hot. Stacy is up last and she lets Randy unbutton her skirt and then she unbuttons her shirt. All women look hot. Orton says this was the best fashion show he has ever seen and this calls for a group hug.
Referee: Jack Doan
Eugene and Conway lock up and Eugene takes him down with a headlock and then poses for the crowd. Arm ringer by Eugene who tags Regal. Regal takes down Conway with a double team move with Eugene. Regal gets taken down with some hard right hands and Conway gets a near fall. They double team Regal in the corner a bit until Conway goes for another cover for two. Conway cheap shots Eugene as Regal is in a bit of trouble with Conway. Regal finally makes a tag and Eugene comes in with right hands all over the face of Conway. Eugene takes a big right hand to the face of Conway. Eugene hits a Lou Thesz press on Conway and he gives him some hard right hands. Eugene gives Conway the airplane spin followed by a top rop double axe handle. Eugene covers but Grenier is able to stop the count.
Eugene makes a run at Conway in the corner but Conway gets a boot up. La Resiatance goes for thier finishing move on Eugene but William Regal grabs the foot of one of them and this allows Eugene to wiggle out and hit a stunner! Eugene makes the cover and picks up the win for himself and Regal!
Winners and still tag team champions: William Regal and Eugene
Eugene has the kids come in and celebrate and the kids mob Regal. Eugene is on the outside of the ring and Maven comes and tosses him head first into the steps. Maven walks off smirking as Regal attends to Eugene.
Trish runs into Jericho:
Trish is shown backstage and she is telling someone not to laugh at her. It’s Jericho. He says that Trish may call Lita the walking K.O.D but Trish is the walking STD! Trish then says she is still the champion. Jericho tells Trish he is going to have a huge party next week and if Trish knows any hot women she can invite them. He then books her in a women’s title match for next week!
Evolution on Edge… again?
Flair asks Batista what the hell he was doing eliminating him from the battle royal! Batista says it was an acident. Flair says that this accident could cause HHH the world title! HHH shows up and bitches about the main event tonight. Flair says he has his back and Batista is slow to say it but HHH stares at him and Batista goes “what, yeah, I got your back too man.” A little odd in the Evolution locker room.
Referee: Jack Doan
Benoit starts it off early firing away at Edge. HHH sits in the corner and watches as Benoit slaps away at the chest of Edge. Benoit comes off the ropes and catches a knee to the gut from Edge. Edge baseball slide kicks Benoit out of the ring and he follows up by dropping Benoit on the security rail. Edge clubs away at Benoit and then throws him back in the ring. As Edge tries to come back in the ring HHH knocks him off the apron. HHH then irish whips Benoit off the ropes hardcore and he tries to pin him about 5 times.
Benoit gets whipped again but he gets a boot up. Benoit then chops away and hits a german suplex on HHH. Benoit goes for another but HHH grabs the ropes and elbows Benoit off of him. Edge takes Benoit down from behind and then HHH and Edge stomp on Benoit. Edge goes after HHH and HHH runs at Edge in the corner, but gets a boot. Benoit follows up chopping both men down harshly. Benoit gives Edge a hard clothesline followed by a snap suplex to HHH. Benoit then double clotheslines both men over the top rope! He then suicide dives through the ropes onto Edge and HHH! All men are down outside the ring as WWE go to commercial break.
Mid match notes:
When we come back HHH is on the outside as Benoit gives Edge a vertical suplex using the ropes. Benoit puts Edge in the figure four but HHH runs at Benoit. Benoit ducks and places HHH in the crossface! HHH is in great pain but Evolution hits the ring. Batista takes down Benoit hard outside the ring as flair distracts the referee!
Randy Orton comes to the ring and tosses the members of Evolution out of the arena! Back in the ring Edge rolls HHH up and nearly gets a three count! Edge makes a run at HHH but HHH is able to give Edge a rough spinebuster taking him down hard. HHH goes for a vertical suplex but Edge reverses and nails a DDT! Edge calls for the spear and runs at HHH but HHH gets a high knee op. HHH goes for the pedigree but Edge sweeps his legs out and slingshots him into the corner!
Benoit hits the ring and gives HHH a german suplex! Benoit takes Edue down and then vertical suplexes Edge on top of HHH’s HEAd. HHH rolls out of the ring in great pain as Benoit slaps the sharpshooter on Edge! Edge crawls for the ropes but Benoit pulls him back! Edge is about to tap but HHH grabs Orton head first and throws him into the ringpost!
HHH then goes in the ring and knees Benoit on the side of the head. HHH gets a little advantage but Benoit reverses an irish whip and he whips Edge right into HHH in the corner! HHH then gets tossed out of the ring AGAIN! Benoit takes Edge down with a german suplex and he calls for the headbutt. HHH comes in the ring and kicks Benoit in the gut and he goes for the pedigree but he is tossed out of the ring AGAIN. Benoit goes back up top but Edge meets him up there. Benoit uses headbutts to knock Edge off the ropes but he falls into the referee! Benoit is about to dive off but HHH knocks him off the top rope! HHH then goes to get a chair and he goes to whack Benoit with it but Orton steals the chair. Orton then takes HHH to the outside where Randy Orton slams HHH in the head with a chair! HHH goes flying over the security railing! He is knocked out of the match!
Edge sets up for the spear but he makes a run at Benoit who ducks and slaps the crossface on Edge! Edge is bleeding from the mouth all over the place as he SCREAMS in pain. He is JUST about to tap but he rolls over on top of Benoit but Benoit still has the crossface on! The referee counts Benoit down but Edge taps at the same time (kind of, in REALITY the 3 count came before Edge taps, but you get the point.) The bell rings. The belt is awarded to Edge, but then another referee comes to the ring and awards the belt to Benoit! It goes back and forth several times but no clear winner is decided as Raw goes off the air!
Winner and NEW World Heavyweight champion: No Decision between Edge and Chris Benoit
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