Kevin Steen has a microphone as the announce team wonders why they are giving it to him. Steen teases putting Freddie over, saying that his entire career people have been telling him he doesn't belong in pro wrestling. Instead, Steen calls him a bitch, and promises to break his knee if he ever comes back, before calling himself "the best thing in professional wrestling today."
2CW WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
ISYS EPHEX (c) vs. COLIN DELANEY
Colin is being booked as the "extremely cute wrestler" – remember when he was the punching bag in WW-ECW circa 2008?
The champ is pretty solidly in control for the early going, as he's more comfortable brawling on the floor than his opponent. Colin gains some momentum, but the action is very slow-building until we head into a pinning contest with a series of roll-ups, sunset flips, counters and reversals; good ole' lucha-style "Mexican Stand-Off".
Isys with a reverse standing Frankensteiner for a 2-count. Delaney hits a kick to the side of the head, before whipping out an innovative move where he throws his opponent over his head, face-first into his knees. Colin skins the cat, but doesn't get all of an elbow drop. A hook kick takes down the champ, and he goes back to the well for another skin-the-cat elbow drop. He tries for it a third time, but Isys gets his knees up and hits a Tiger Driver for an extremely close 2-count.
Up to the top turnbuckle we go, but Colin battles back and sends the champ to the mat. He springboards off the top rope, but Isys kicks the rope to trip him up, and hits his finisher for the 1-2-3.
DECISIONS: ISYS RETAINS VIA PINFALL
Colin gets on the mic and says he considers Isys a friend, but lets the fans call the match finish "bullshit". He tells Isys to remember what he "had to do" to win the match, and issues a rematch challenge for the next iPPV. Isys accepts the challenge, a one-hour time limit, and he promises not to take any short cuts to beat him.
Eh. There was some good stuff here, but a lot of the time I find Colin's moveset unnecessary. Those skin-the-cat moves look really rough. None of the four he tried to hit came off well. It's like, why not just springboard off the top rope? Scientifically speaking, he's just making the move a LOT more difficult to hit, and taking most of the momentum away from the actual elbow drop. Sure, it's flashy in theory, but if it looks bad, not to mention ineffective, what are you actually left with?
I like Isys, from the little I got to see of him here. Not sure why they started the match off so slow, as it looked liked they had both gassed out before they even got started. I won't rail on these guys any more, it just didn't come off like they worked very hard, and personally I didn't enjoy the match all that much. I'm certainly not sold on a rematch.
**10 Minute Intermission**
After the intermission, Hamin's Hackers are back in the ring with Dick Justice. Some guy with a pretty poor fake accent talks about…being in control of the NSA? Because hashtags? I don't know. Suddenly he's got a machete, but a babyface (I think) faction makes the save, and Dick Justice attacks Bin Hamin, before cutting off his beard with scissors. They do the Pledge of Allegiance as Dick stands on Hamin's groin.
Well, at least the kick-off match wasn't the worst segment of the show anymore… Remember when I said I wanted to to forget that ever happened, for the good of the show? WHY 2CW? WHY MUST YOU DO THIS?
Iranian heel factions don't work in 2013. Maybe in the Deep South, can you get away with doing the Pledge of Allegiance while you leg drop a foreign flag. And I'm not sure, because I've never seen a 2CW show before, but is this particular Iranian heel faction in control of the NSA? Of all the convoluted ideas I've ever heard in wrestling…
Please…make it stop…
Also, NEVER BRING ACTUAL WEAPONS INTO THE RING! I don't care what you have scripted, bringing a real machete in the ring is stupid. "Oops, I dropped it" turns into "Oops, a million dollar lawsuit and our company shuts down" really, really quickly.
